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Please read this StepTalkers - it's from Wednesday Martin's blog. An entry from May 2009. Do yourselves a favour and check out her website, she's full of insight .......
"Some stepmothers really are horrible bitches. I know mine was!!
I only joined this site two days ago, yet I've met many kindred spirits. In reading these posts I'm astounded by the SIMILARITY of them all. Does everyone see that?
This has to be one of the strangest things yet that my BF has done involving skids.
I came home from work and my BF was sitting at the kitchen table, using the laptop computer, struggling through filling out online job applications...for over 2 hours. SD16 was sitting on the living room couch, ignoring my BF - not helping, not participating, not a care in the world what my BF was doing.
What's so strange about this? you are wondering...
Hint: My BF already has a full-time job and doesn't need another one...
Any takers???
For a while now, I've been uneasy - I think I'm a Disney SParent!
Signs:
1) We're extremely NCP parents to SD14; deployments and schools + long distance = 16 weeks of visitation in 4 years
2) Half of our visitation is at MIL's house when we're on "vacation" = shopping or other fun stuff every day
3) SD14 has a hero-worship thing going on with me - she thinks I'm super-smart and successful.
4) BM's lifestyle is right at the edge of her income but we live conservatively, so we always have the extra cash to do "fun stuff."
SO finally got a job in town so we don't have to travel anymore.. only problem is BM will have to travel to meet us half way now (she doesn't know this yet) I have a feeling there is going to be alot of drama coming our way with this. Oh well I will just cross my fingers and hope I do not have the cops coming to my house now. Any suggestions on how to minimize drama in letting her know?
11 year old girl in 6th grade wearing makeup (eyeshadow, liner, mascara)....Normal? A little too soon? Completely inappropriate?
Ok......GO!
I am at the point that I know I need to be less involved in the skids parenting(actually, I am not married to BF, we do live together). They have two parents and I know I need to back away and not try to parent them, it's making me crazy. The major problems with this are that I am 99% sure my BF has Asbergers and the skids live with us every other week 50/50 custody. I try to step in and parent the skids because it doesn't seem to happen if I don't. If I don't tell the skids they need showers, they could go for days without one.
So the SK's went back to BM's after school yesterday. We get an email from BM last night saying that she asked the kids if they rode the bus from our house to school yesterday and they told her no so she asked if they walked. They again told her no so she asked how they did get to school and they told her that my bio-daughter arranged for them to get a ride to school with a friend that only has their school permit. This, of course, made BM concerned about their safety riding with a teenage driver....totally understandable.
Totally off the subject of step parenting (although for some of you it might be right-on) but I heard this on a radio show once. We've all had relationships or dates that went badly for some crazy reasons. Mine's a little long, but hilarious. Basically, finish the sentence:
"I knew it was over when...."
I asked my DH today to get a paternity test. He basically said there is no point because he knows the kid (SD3) is definitely his. But if he never had a paternity test, how does he know for sure? & what is getting one going to hurt? The kid is too young to know why her blood is being taken so it's not like he will have to answer questions. & the BM doesn't even have to know about it. I know the chances are slim that she's not his, but I'm just thinking how great it would be if she's not!