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Am I Crazy??????

zmmm's picture

My boyfriend and I bought a house together 2 years ago after being together 6 years. He has 2 girls, 11 & 12 and I have 2 kids, boy 16 and girl 9. Needless to say, it has never been easy getting everyone to get along. Generally, we all get by. Well, Easter weekend. We have his family over for dinner, 16 of them. I am busy in the kitchen and my 16yo son comes in, tell the girls to stay off of my wheelchair, the wheel is broken & I want to fix it (he found it in the garbage & has been having a great time with it). I said, I am not getting involved I am cooking for 16!!! He tells me I have told her (11yo SD) to get off 3 times & she is not listening. I said, I can't, too busy. He goes back out there & of course an argument takes place & he ends up pulling her out of the chair by the wrist. He ends up on the floor somehow and she proceeds to kick him in the head and smacks him numerous times in the head. She comes in and tells me he hurt her wrist, I said same thing, I can't get involved, go tell your Dad. From that point forward she hounded her father to take her home. It literally went on for hours until finally he snapped. They finally went home and there was a bit of piece.... Then the phone rings a little after 10:00. Here starts the DRAMA!!! It's his exwife. How dare you let that MONSTER touch my daughter. blah blah blah... He says his piece and hangs up. Next morning, 7:30. His cell phone rings on his way to work. It is again his ex screaming at him for this incident. Of course I am a Jerry Springer show and my children are horrible kids. Spewing nothing but irrational ranting about how bad I am and how rotten my kids are. The phone calls continue all day. He continually hangs up on her. Then at 4:45, my cell phone rings. First time she has ever called me personally.... We need to talk. Your son... I said listen, the last time the kids fought you told me they were kids and they were gonna fight and we should not get involved. She says, but he is 17... I said, no he is 16 and still a child. When I get my opening I say, do you realize you are doing nothing but creating DRAMA? Well, she didn't like that. Hung up and called the boyfriend again. This crap continued until we were in the middle of dinner when his daughter called and there was silence. She wanted to call to see what kind of drama was going on in my house. When she didn't hear any, she asked if the boy was in trouble. He told her she was making a big deal out of nothing and should stop. Needless to say again, the ex got on the phone. I walked out. Upon my return he was still on the phone with her debating. That was it, I lost it. I picked up the other line and started asking what was the point of her repeated phone calls. What was the purpose? What, other than Drama, does she want from all this? I might add that I was a bit out of control at this point, but I was at my wit's end. She couldn't answer. To make a really long story short, I am the wrong one, I am the crazy one.... AHHHHHHHH Is it all worth it? I am ready to put the house up for sale and walk. I don't need this BS!!! Should I have made the 16 year old share? If it was the other way around, you can be assured she would not share. Am I wrong? Am I taking this lightly because it is my son? Or am I right that kids will fight and there is nothing we could do. Shouldn't the ex stay out of issues that happen at our house? I never speak to my kids when they are at their Dad's. My kids never call me when they are there. And what is gonna happen next weekend when we are all together again? The ex undermines my boyfriend's control. If we get into an argument, they call their mother. If they want to go to the movies, they call their Mom. What is up with this? AM I CRAZY?

Comments

Catch22's picture

to the Bm and the skids. This your house, your castle and she has no business talking about what you do at your house and the skids are just playing you off against each other to get their own way.

It does sound like DH only listens to some of her crap? At least he isn't frightened to hang up on her incase she takes the kids away, as I have so often heard men say. You need to stop your skids calling her when they have a problem, this is your house, your time with them and your rules apply. You may be a little bias b/c he is your son and I only say this because I have a 14 year old bio son and can imagine the same scenario and I do stick up for him to a certain degree, but it sounds to me like SD had him under control with the smacks in the head and so forth. Did she get all upity about whacking him a few times? I think not!!

Stand your ground and make your rules with DH and stick to them, if you have caller ID don't you or DH answer her stupid calls. Let them have their drama and you just brush it off, they will soon learn that no reaction is not enough drama for them.

Hey, I can totally relate to you asking, am I going crazy?!! LOL I ask myself this 10 times a day. Good luck.

Catch xx

dbsojo's picture

This step daughter sounds like a spoiled rotten brat. No, you are definitly not crazy, but it sounds like she's offering you a ride there in the front seat.