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What should all kids coming into adulthood know?

zerostepdrama's picture

What are the important things that you think that kids should know to make them responsible and successful adults?

What can we start teaching them NOW to ensure that when they are about to fly they coop they can and will and they will be successful.

Advice, wisdom, actual things they should learn and know, etc.

Comments

AshMar654's picture

I am 32 and I see the lesson all my friends have struggled to learn that my parents taught me.

1. Understand money and finances, like how a loan works and interest and everything about that. Explain the consequences when they miss payments.
2. Educate them on how much school really costs and if they do not get assistance they will have a lot of debt they have to pay back.
3. Trust people in this world but also be cautious at the same time.
4. How to speak up for ones self when the time is right and also to understand that when you make a mistake admit it and own it. It goes a long way in life if you can own up to your actions.
5. Do not judge those around you, as you do not know all the history and background.
6. No one in the world is entitled to anything. You need to earn what you have.
7. Be kind, do on to others as you want them to do on to you. Goes a very long way.
8. Do not smoke cigarettes it is the worst most nasty expensive habit. It is really hard to quit.
9. Stay true to yourself and you beliefs. Do things that make you happy without causing harm to those around you.
10. Some times a risk is worth it.
Last one: Understand that every person in this world is different, instead of thinking their way is not right try to understand it and accept it. You still do you but let others be who they are too. As long as it does not cause harm to anyone than embrace the differences in this world.

ESMOD's picture

Understand money. Know how to shop and cook. Be able to get up and show up on time. Laundry and housekeeping. How to change a tire. Plus what everyone else said

Salems Lot's picture

All of the above.
And learn to be compassionate, considerate and respectful towards others.

secret's picture

Other than general manners and kind/generous/compassionate/etc character building components of course...

1) you do not deserve anything. You work for what you want. Nobody likes someone always looking for handouts, be it money, job, favors or otherwise.

2) money management - living within their means, budgeting, savings, the value of retirement planning

3) professional behavior - things to do to get a job (resume, interview skills etc) how not to get fired, what to do to impress your management, work ethic

4) basic cooking - AND how to grocery shop effectively... portioning out larger purchases...meal plan... coupons... preservation (freezing, drying etc)

5) What goes around comes around - treat people how you would want to be treated

6) Do what makes you happy - but not at the expense of someone else's well-being... don't abandon your responsibilities for selfish reasons

7) be conscious that not everyone sees you the way you think you're being seen

Dirol basic survival skills - building/finding shelter, starting a fire/finding a heat source, finding and filtering water, basic roots/berries/edibles in nature, hunting & fishing

9) take care of yourself before taking care of anyone else

10) presentability - general appearance, hygiene, clothing clean and ironed if necessary... always dress for the job you want, not for the job you have...

I love dogs's picture

All of the above but I'd like to add that people come and go whether it be a SO, BFF, some family members, etc. Don't give up just because you are down. Don't accept abuse. There are always other opportunities, jobs, whatever to thrive in. Seek professional help if you are depressed. Love with your heart because you want to. Lastly, don't ever be afraid to ask your parents for advice. My parents have been my best support since I've been "adulting" and I couldn't be more grateful.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I like the ones listed above... My biggest stressor... COOKING.

My little sis just moved off to Europe and literally two days before was asking me how to cook, she never had to because my parents do all the cooking for her. So she said she loves my food and was waiting for me to come back so she could learn... Because I can teach her in 3 days how to cook... I'm SUPER worried about her tbh...

So with my worries, I'd say exercise, budgeting, and all that... But I'm mostly just worried she's going to starve to death right now. lol

Personally I'll be teaching the girls how to trap, kill, and skin rabbits in their basic survival skills, lol. DH agrees, we're going to set them up for success no matter what environment they hit. We're also finally taking them camping once it gets warm again! Because they're young we'll be bringing a tent... But we plan to rough it for the most part!

I love dogs's picture

No matter the weather I'm always freezing with tent camping! Thank goodness we have a trailer!! I also think survival skills are a great life lesson.

strugglingSM's picture

Some great lists here! I would add the following:

-When you're grown and far from your school years, the most fondly remembered people will be the ones who were kind and genuine. No one will care who the "popular" people were years from now.

-Be yourself, the happiest people in life are the ones who are their authentic selves and are not trying to be someone they are not. This might feel difficult during your school years and even in many adult situations, due to peer pressure and public shaming, but being true to yourself is worth far more than the regard of people who expect others to conform to the same standard.

-Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is. Respect yourself enough to not stay in bad situations - whether they be relationships, jobs, friendships.

-Don't do things just because they are expected of you. This is especially true when it comes to relationships. Don't get married just because someone tells you that you should be married at your age or because your SO demands that you get married. It might be hard to walk away from a relationship in the moment, but if the relationship doesn't feel right, you will regret not walking away later. There is no age that it "too old" to get married and if you don't ever get married, you can still have a happy life.

-All relationships take work and compromise. Even friendships require maintenance. Romantic relationships will not be all hearts and flowers and unicorns all the time. In order to have a functional relationship, you'll have to have many uncomfortable conversations and deal with some hard truths about yourself, but putting in all that effort is worth it in the end.

-Life isn't fair. The sooner you stop getting bothered when someone seems to have things easier or someone seems to get something they don't deserve, the better off you will be. Focus on yourself rather than worrying about everyone else.

-Don't be judgmental of others and don't be jealous of others. You have no idea what is really going on in their lives, what they struggle with, what they are hiding from the world. Focus on yourself, getting your own life in order, and doing things that feel right to you and make you happy.

-Honor your commitments. If you say you will do something, no matter how inconsequential it seems, you should do that. That includes being on time. Having a reputation for being reliable will serve you well.

-Value your mental health as much as your physical health. If you're struggling with anxiety, depression, or another mental issue, don't be ashamed. There is help available and your life will be much better if you don't try to hide from mental health ailments.

-Your parents don't owe you anything. If you make it to adulthood unharmed, they have done their job. Don't expect them to take you in when you're an adult and can't figure out your life and don't whine and complain when they don't take care of all of your needs when you're an adult. They are someone's children as well and they had to learn to be adults and not rely on their parents. Keep the cycle going by becoming self-sufficient. You might have children someday, so treat your parents the way you would like your future children to treat you.

-Don't expect to feel the same way forever about the things you loved or things that seemed vital in your 20s. Your perspective on life and what matters will change so much between your 20s and 30s and your 30s and 40s. That is normal and it is a sign of growth. Keep that in mind and don't make decisions that will back you into a corner later in life. Keep this in mind with relationships as well. Your partner will change, too. In the most successful relationships, you both evolve together and you support one another through your growth.

-Experiences add more value to your life than things. As much as you or someone in your family might think they want the latest toy, gadget, expensive house, expensive car, etc; the things that will actually add value to their lives are the memories of doing things together - whether it's learning a new skill, exploring a new area, or even doing simple things together.

-At least once in your life, live in an area that is completely different than the one you grew up in. Pushing your personal boundaries by living in another area will challenge your assumptions about life and about yourself in positive ways. If you have a chance to live in another country, take it. You can always go home again, but the growth you make in your time away will change your life for the better.

-Don't let fear dictate your life. Sometimes, taking a chance on the "unsafe" option can work out better than you'd ever imagined.

-You will experience some bad times in your life - death of a loved one, painful breakup, lost job, debilitating illness - but you will get through those. Learning to persevere through the "bad" times in life, without letting them ruin you, is a skill that will serve you well in life. When you are in the midst of these downtimes, don't be afraid to ask for help. Ultimately, the people who matter in your life want to help, but might not know how. If you have a specific need, don't be afraid to let people know what it is and how they can best support you.

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

Beautifully written. This is pretty much the lessons I am trying to teach my son, along with all the practical things mentioned. I would like him to a self-sufficient person no matter what his age. Whether it is cleaning his own room now, or later in life in his career or cooking a meal for himself or balancing his cheque book.

The one thing I will add to this is "Be true to yourself". As you go through life you learn and discover who you are - and with time you may find that you have changed. Evaluate what is true and what is right and let that guide you. Always be true to who you are and live your life with kindness to yourself and others. Life will not always treat you kindly, but approach things with love and compassion. The world is a place - not a good place or a bad place - but a place. If you can make it a better place then do. In the end have memories (whether good or bad) not wishes and regrets. And remember you only have today, live it like it is your last because tomorrow is promised to no one.

strugglingSM's picture

Thank you! Yes, I would add a bunch of practical things to the list including paying bills...which I've learned is a trait a lot of adults struggle with.

I also love your comment about making the world a better place and staying true to yourself. I think if more people focused on doing those things there would be less angst in the world.

zerostepdrama's picture

Thanks everyone!

BS told me the other day "We need to make a list and make sure I know what to do when I move out." Ha ha. So it got me thinking...have I taught him (or will I) everything that he should know?

I have been working on sharing my knowledge with him and his dad is good about teaching him things when he has him.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I wish my family had explained personal property taxes and when they were due as well as DMV related things.

Basic budgeting is great as well as some information about retirement planning.

I wish is had more education about basic car and home matianance.

Cooking for one or two would be amazing to know also.

AshMar654's picture

Totally forgot start saving for retirement the instance you can. In your 20's is best practice.

I am so grateful that my mom and step-dad were super open with me about money and finances and how child support worked. I am grateful everyday they instilled in me to save. I also love the fact that my Step-dad would not allow me to have a credit card until I was done with college and paying my own car insurance. He said if he ever found out I opened one, that would be it I would be on my own policy and paying for it all by myself. Early 20's you are looking at like 150 a year.

They did good with that. Around me I watched many of my friends struggle when they were on their own and barely making ends meet or having debt collectors call them all the time.

WalkOnBy's picture

How to do laundry.
How to make meals for themselves.
How to clean a house/apartment.
How to budget money.
How to write a resume.
How to keep your word.
The importance of saving.
How to spot crazy.

strugglingSM's picture

How to spot crazy is a big one...when my SSs are adults, it will be all I can do to not step in and say something if they are dating someone like BM.

Acratopotes's picture

I only taught my son....

respect all living things and remember, all actions have reactions.
For every decision you make there will be consequences, think something through before you do it.