Ran into YSD the other day-very awkward- got me thinking though
I was at the store the other day. Going down the aisle. I was with my mom. A girl comes into the aisle holding a baby and stops and my mom is stopped too, on the opposite side of the aisle. So I'm getting ready to move past both of them and go into the next aisle and a cart comes into the aisle so there is some maneuvering to get around everyone.
Well then I look up and it's YSD17. In a span of like 5 seconds in my head is "okay this cart needs to move. This person looks familiar. How do I know this person. YSD? No. Oh God it is YSD. YSD? What is she doing here?"
I'm sure the look at my face was priceless because YSD's face looked pretty much the same.
Conversation went like this:
Me:"Hi YSD" (Shock in my voice)
YSD: "Hi Zero"
Me: How are you?
Me: That's good. What are you doing here? (Because I couldn't think of anything else.)
YSD: I'm here with my friend and her baby.
Then we both kept moving our carts and that was that. She looked really uncomfortable. I felt really uncomfortable.
My town and skid town are right by each other. However the store I was at, is the opposite side, so it was quite a surprise to see her there. I sometimes have business to do in skid town and I am always paranoid of running into one of the skids or BM. I do not like confrontation or conflict.
YSD and I have never had direct conflict. With OSD and MSD I have. Even when things were good with the skids, I didn't really like YSD mainly because she is the baby and treated as such and acts as such. She is the favorite. She has been taught VERY well by BM. And DH acts like she is still 5 years old. Her personality is just Meh! A lot of her issues with me come from how her sisters and BM feel about me and she knows that I am the reason that DH doesn't do a lot of the stuff that he used to- like hand out money.
The skids and BM are the only people "in my life" that I have this type of "relationship" with. It's so weird for me to worry about running into people I don't care for, because they are the only people that fit into this category.
I have seen YSD a handful of times in the past 3+ years. We have spoken maybe 10 words to each other in that time span.
Last time I really saw her was Christmas 2014. She wouldn't speak to me or acknowledge me initially. Then once MSD left, she loosened up a bit and was fine and we actually spoke a few nice words to each other and even parted with a quick hug. Then the next time I saw her was this spring and she was outside in the driveway with DH and her BF and I was coming home and I said a quick hi and asked how she was and then went inside. Then she left shortly after.
With MSD and OSD there was clear conflict so it makes it easier. Sometimes with YSD I wonder if I just took the high road (again) and if I extended an olive branch if things would be better. I feel at times she has just been caught up in the drama and very influenced by her sisters and BM.
I know however I wouldn't extend an olive branch because it has been proven time and time again with the skids that when I do, it only causes more stress and headache and drama. Sadly it's best to not have the girl skids in my life because they LOVE the drama. SS is good about staying out of it and away from it. We can have a relationship and I kind of forget that he's BM's kid. With the girl skids that just doesn't happen.
Sometimes I just wonder how it would be if everyone just got along or could be civil towards one another.
*Side note* I feel that DH and I fight A LOT less about the skids. Because he doesn't know how to parent and doesn't know anything about boundaries, there were always issues. So now we have less fights since the kids don't really come around and are adults. I know if they did come around more, there would be more issues. I'm positive of that. BUt at the same time, there is this unspoken thing between us about the skids. The elephant in the room.