Per MSD she has no SM and her parents are still married!
Yep that is what she told the cop who called her to talk to her about the no trespassing order I put out on her.
***Side note he had asked if I wanted him to issue a warrant for her for assault. I said no. Please do not debate why I should have or whatever. That is my choice and am sticking by it for now.****
When the cop first called, she hung up on him and avoided him. Then last night he called me and told me that he had a "heart to heart" with her and told her about the trespassing order. He then asked what my relationship with her was. I was like legally she is my step daughter by marriage. He said well she claimed she had no SM and her parents are still married.
Okay she is crazy.
Then OSD text DH last night "Mom says Zero is texting her and she wants her to stop. Can you please tell her to stop. She needs to grow up."
Ummmm excuse me???
I texted BM for the first time in 4 years on Sunday and only after she texted DH a bunch of nasty texts. I have ignored every other text she has sent him that has NOTHING to do with actual parenting, just cussing him out, saying shit about me and I finally said something to her because at some point enough is enough.
So when I finally texted her on Sunday, she didnt respond, which was fine, I said what I had to say and I went ahead and blocked her number from my phone and DH's.
I told DH that OSD needs to really mind her own business. She lives out of state, has 2 kids, husband, 2 step kids and this has NOTHING to do with her or BM. She had started with her passive aggressive posts on FB and tagging DH in stuff. Just trying to stir up shit.
It's between Me, MSD and DH.
These people are crazy! Crazy I tell you!
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OMGoodness!! What a bunch of
OMGoodness!! What a bunch of loons. What is DH saying about all of this now?
Not a whole lot. He's
Not a whole lot. He's horrible at communication anyways. He's tired of talking about it, is what he said.
But I think he thought I really was texting BM. Like 2 days later after the incident! He is like you never should have even texted her on Sunday. I'm like really DH??? That bitch can text you the most vile shit and you just ignore it (which is good) and we block her number and then she has some other number next time she wants to go off on you. She has said nasty stuff about you, me, MY SON!!!!!!!! and I have kept my mouth shut. But I stand up one freakin time and you are going to tell me I shouldn't have?
I agree with DH that you
I agree with DH that you shouldn't have texted her. You're playing right into their hands.
It doesn't matter what BM says. By responding, you gave her validity and proof that she can get to you if she tries hard enough. She wants a reaction from you and you gave her one.
I get that you are emotional and fed up, but I don't think you're making rational decisions and that will bite you in the ass.
Head high, deep breath, and say "I am better than this."
Also know that systematically ignoring the high drama types hurts them more than any reaction ever will.
We got crazy nasty ranting
We got crazy nasty ranting texts from BM, and I replied with one sentence. She did the same thing, told SD I was interfering and needed to grow up.
DH forwarded the texts to SD, who is an adult and got an apology.
You didn't put her in the middle, BM did. If she's already there she should have the full story.
I told DH he needed to make
I told DH he needed to make it clear to OSD what really is going on. But no matter what she is going to believe her mom, so in a way its kind of pointless. But no wonder she hates me, causes trouble and then in return I "hate" her.
Luckily for us BM rants on SD
Luckily for us BM rants on SD when she does something that she doesn't like or agree with. SD loves her mother very much and stands up for her sometimes, but is smart enough to recognize when BM is wrong or manipulative.
When she read what was actually said vs what BM had told her, she saw that it was her Mom who was twisting things and creating drama.
I don't know what was said between the two of them but we didn't get another ranting text for a couple of years.
The girl skids have drank so
The girl skids have drank so much of BM's kool aid. She has done AWFUL things to the skids and they see her work the system and try to scam people and stir up trouble and they still look at her like Mother Theresa.
This girl needs a swift kick
This girl needs a swift kick into reality. What does your DH say about her running around claiming that he and BM are still married? That is so weird.
I'm assuming MSD thought if
I'm assuming MSD thought if she didnt claim to have divorced parents, then there was no way she had a SM that she assaulted.
I'm 100% okay with her not claiming me as her SM, because she is nothing more then my husband's daughter. But I am most definitely married to her dad!
Yes, but she didn't think the
Yes, but she didn't think the officer would check that out? Geez, she needs to start using her brain, for her kid's sake, if nothing else. I mean, trying to start a physical altercation with her baby in her arms?
I dont know if she thought
I dont know if she thought that maybe he wasn't a real police officer?
But agree, normally she is a very smart (book) girl.
I think it's great that she
I think it's great that she told such an outrageous easily disproven lie! Now you have a record of her lying to the authorities.
Whenever she tells DH that she's telling the truth and you are lying, well guess what, you didn't lie to the cops!
And there's no way the cops are going to believe her if she tries to charge you with anything.
She's made a big mistake and isn't fully aware of the consequences yet.
Hanging up and avoiding the
Hanging up and avoiding the cops initially and then lying to them, ummm yeah... I dont think she is making herself look too good.
that was what I thought...
that was what I thought... she said that because she was afraid the conversation was going to lead to her being charged with something, so she played the "I don't even have a step mom" charade to try and throw the big stupid donut eating cop (who surely would believe everything she says! eye roll) off her tail.
Hilarious how smart I'm sure she thinks she is, when she really just makes herself look like an idiot.
I told DH he needed to call
I told DH he needed to call MSD and tell her exactly what could have happened to her, so she knows how serious this was/is.
Right. This is why I have
Right. This is why I have NEVER texted her, called her, nothing, nada, zilch.
But I just reached a breaking point. Tired of it. Tired of taking the high road.
I wont do it again. I said what I wanted to say, but the mature stuff. I really wanted to tear into her and really tell her about herself but I didnt.
i AM GLad you were the
i AM GLad you were the trespassing route! I worked at a police department for a long time and that sucker is ironclad.
I hope I dont regret that I
I hope I dont regret that I didnt get the PO or let them charge her with assault. The cop seemed like he wanted to do it, annoyed with her avoiding him.
Well, like you said, you had
Well, like you said, you had your reasons for not pursuing it at that time.
Maybe she will respect the boundaries, but if she doesn't, well then you know what you gotta do
Indeed. Child protective
Indeed. Child protective services might have gotten involved since she was holding her baby and trying to fight. It would have happened in my police department FOR SURE. You achieved what you wanted accomplished which was security and safety in your own home with no MSD present causing trouble.
If I was you I would tell DH
If I was you I would tell DH if you want to take shit from them that's fine but when they attack me and my kid, I will go for their throat and you better defend me or I'll show you the door.
One time SD and her BM attacked my kid about what I bought for my kid and DH didn't pay enough child support so I went to their house and got into their face. I also printed out their message saying stay away from us or I will send their nasty texts to their work/school and i do have access to my husband email and phone SD cried to her father that I'm evil stepmother for yelling at them but DH told both of them shame on you for picking on a little kid so suck it up and clean your own mess.
Protect your kids and let DH deals with his. Best of luck.
This is good news. Since
This is good news.
Since they are still married, he must still live in BM's home. So there's no need for her to ever come to your house again, because obviously your husband is not her dad .
Just get a male blowup doll, paste a picture of your husband on it and leave it at BM's house. Everyone will be happy .
Ha Ha right! I wonder how
Ha Ha right!
I wonder how BM's husband feels about this? LOL
As long as the blow up doll
As long as the blow up doll has ATM functions, that would work for BM! Too funny!
What part of the body would
What part of the body would the money come out of?
Good grief, they all sound
Good grief, they all sound crazy!
right? What a bunch of
right? What a bunch of loons!!!
WTF What did the cop have to
What did the cop have to say about that bullshit she told him? Insane.
This is my take on the
This is my take on the situation:
Your msd used her child as an defensive shield while she attacked you, she KNEW you couldnt or wouldnt defend yourself physically while she held her baby, hence why she likely escalated her behaviour towards violence. Her hate/anger of you even over rode her natural protective instincts of a mother. Umfortunately it seems your dh is not prepared to protect you from his dysfunctional baggage and tbh I personally would REALLY struggle with that, he created the dynamic by inviting his adult dd into your joint home while knowing you would take issue with it. It seems he had hoped you would turn the other cheek and just put up and shut up (again). The fact he has refused to address this epic showdown by his dd would disgust me. HE invited her in. This is HIS daughter and not only did she threaten you, his wife, she attempted to hurt you and nearly dh grandchild in the process. If that was my child, I would be appalled and embarassed.
Then to compound his famiy's insult towards you, his ex wades in and becomes abusive. At what point does he tell her to shut the F up and then block her?! To THEN have a go at you for the one tiny thing you did...answering her once. Wow I would have hit the roof and then considered my options. I get that its probably best you ignore bm however even if you are a trooper at weathering stress, you can sometimes crack and snap. They push and push, yet dh ignores really quite severe harassment of you, yet you react to bm and he just happens to be able to say something?! WTF is that about? Yes his crazy kids and ex will likely ignore and shout louder if he says anything, but guess what? At this point its not about him getting a resolution that you would hope for (them to be ashamed, apologise and sink into oblivion to never be seen or heard of again) by addressing their nastiness, its about him demonstrating to his wife that he will step up for what is right for his marriage, the safety of you and your child. He wants you to endure this and be quiet, he can and will criticise you however refuses to regarding the crazies...well shit that is not a good omen for your relationship.
Are youin couples counselling because someone has to slap some sense into him?!
Everything you said is spot
Everything you said is spot on.
No we aren't in counseling but have went before. We will go again if we need to.
I know DH right now feels like he's heard enough, me bitching, MSD bitching, OSD bitching, so he has really hit his wall. He SUCKS at communicating anyways and literally shuts down at the tough stuff.
So I know in order to be effective, I need to back off for a few days, let him think about things, change some things on my end (to better protect myself) and then go from there.
Nut balls. That's all I got!
Nut balls. That's all I got!
Is this the SD who was going
Is this the SD who was going to go to nursing school not to all that long ago? What happened to her goals that she's down to fighting with a baby on her hip ad telling police ridiculous stories? Or do I have SD and/or posters mixed up?
I have to admit. This post made me laugh. I know the entire experience isn't funny and it has caused you undo frustration and bull*, but the thought of her lie to police is well, funny. WTF is wrong with this twit that made her think that lie would somehow get her out of the trouble she caused ? SM? What SM? I don't have a SM , my parents are still married
Same one twoviewpoints. She
Same one twoviewpoints.
She is book smart and that is about it.
She has had drug problems, anger issues and behavioral issues for a long long time. This is who she is and it's sad. She really needs help.
Right. He still has YSD who
He still has YSD who is 16 so we can't be 100% rid of BM just yet. Soon though!