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Child support ended- in-laws visit

zerostepdrama's picture

YSD graduated over the weekend and DH is now done with CS. I really can't believe that I survived this long to see this day happen. LOL.

There was minimum graduation and in-laws visiting drama.

Thursday night DH confirmed that SIL, MIL and SIL 2 small children would be arriving at our house at 6:00am on Saturday, they would get ready for graduation and then they would get a hotel. DH seemed 100% fine with this so I didn't question it or bring anything up.

Well 6:30am on Saturday rolls around and they are not here. DH calls and they are actually at a hotel. Because they instead got into town at 1:00am???

(Not sure why they were leaving at weird times anyways. They are 6 hours from us and neither adult was working so not sure why they didn't leave at a "normal" time.)

So they drive by the house at the time they need to leave to make it to graduation and honk, DH comes out and they leave. They attend graduation. All go to lunch and then DH comes home.

I had made plans with friends to go out that night and DH decides he wants to go. So he meets up with his family for dinner and then later we go out with friends.

DH never invited me to eat with them for either lunch or dinner, though later he brought it up that I should have came???? Honestly I didn't want to see the skids so I was just stepping back and letting his family visit and do their thing. Not sure if I gave DH the impression that I didn't want to come and that is why he didn't extend the invitation or what? But I also figured that at some point the in-laws would come by the house and I would see them then.

Well in-laws never came over. I did find it a little odd that in-laws didn't make an effort to come to our house and visit with me. For YEARS they would come to town and spend time with me and DH at our house and never even make an effort to see the skids. Now this past year I noticed them making a bigger effort with the skids. Which is fine, that is their family.

I have expressed here that I did not want them staying with me for the whole weekend but I never expressed that with them at all. And it's not like I didn't want to see, I just didn't want to deal with them for the weekend.

A hotel did work out a lot better for them though because they could come and go as they please, visit with the skids and since they came and left at really odd hours (1am arrival and then left at 4am on Sunday).

Later Saturday night DH does tell me that all the hotel rooms were booked and that in-laws had been looking for a hotel??? But it was brought up when I was drinking so I didn't really ask him for details. The next day I asked him why they were looking for another hotel room and why didn't they stay here if they needed a place to stay? DH said SIL told him that her and I had texted awhile back and SIL felt like they would have been an inconvenience.

I've bitched about the situation A LOT on here but never told SIL she couldn't stay. I did tell her months ago when we first started discussing this weekend that I thought it was silly to drive 6 hours with a newborn for just the ceremony when we wouldn't be having a party for YSD and OSD and MSD were not allowed at our house.

We have talked since then. Like no issues, sending texts, pictures, etc. So not sure what made her change her mind from us being fine to this weekend comes and she thinks she can't stay with us- especially when she was having trouble finding a hotel.

So not sure where they ended up staying or what happened with all of that. I'm just going to leave everything alone and it is what it is. I've been having a lot of negative feelings in regards to the skids and in-laws so I think it's best for me to take a step back from it all and work on some things with me.

DH seemed totally fine with the whole weekend. I got the impression that he was actually fine with them not staying with us so I guess that is all that matters.

I am going to post another blog soon about something that did rub me the wrong way... but other then that I think the weekend went pretty well and I am so glad it is over.

Comments

Acratopotes's picture

you lucky fish - all that worry of them crashing at your place.... and for what..

oh SIL is just playing a bit on her brother's feelings..... I did not feel welcome, I did not want to intrude blablabla
all Me Me Me... see how I suffer..... I had no place to stay... stupid woman...

I would play it innocently and simply tell DH - well if she needed a place to stay she could've asked me directly... she never did thus I thought she has a place to stay Wink Wink

zerostepdrama's picture

Yes all that worry for nothing... LOL...

Well that is the thing. Since we have talked and everything seemed "fine" not sure why she didn't just ask to stay. If she felt that strongly about it prior when we had our initial conversation then why has she been texting with me these past few months as if nothing is wrong???

Acratopotes's picture

Zero - open your eyes.... entitlement runs in the veins, she's just like the SD's......

she wanted you to offer, she wanted you to stay at home babysitting the baby, she wanted you to do the cooking and cleaning for her family..... it's all about her her her and you the maid DH married..... I doubt she will be texting you for a while... she's playing victim now.... lets bet on that 2-3 weeks... before she has a new scheme lol

zerostepdrama's picture

Clever- well it was her and MIL. I never even talked to MIL about the visit at all.

SIL is the one that made it more difficult for herself. I would have never said no about them staying, especially when she was having trouble finding a hotel room. But at the same time both MSD and OSD have apartments, so they could have stayed with them. Not sure why it's just assumed we are the only house in town that they can stay in.

zerostepdrama's picture

Well that is part of the reason why I did have a problem with her staying. I really didn't want to spend my weekend making things comfortable for her at my house and cleaning up after her and kids while she is out running around visiting with the skids and then using our house as a hotel.

zerostepdrama's picture

My marriage to DH is fine... if he has a problem with how I handle things then I suggest he speaks up. He's a grown up and has no problem using his voice any other time.

I'm not upset they didn't stay with us. I'm not upset that I didn't get to cook and clean for them while they spent all their time with the skids. It worked out for the best with their odd arrival/departure time.

If SIL caught my vibe by me saying a few months back that I thought it was silly for her to come for just the ceremony and took that as she couldn't ask to stay then that is fine and I can't change any of that. Even though she had no problem with my "vibe" while she had been texting me about her baby's room and then her baby and accepting a baby gift from me and texting me wishing me Happy Mother's Day. She had no problem with my vibe then.

I think she wanted me to offer for them to stay. My plan was if they asked I wouldn't say no but I wasn't going to go out of my way to invite them or follow up with what their plan was.