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All Step mom are mistressess! DUH!

zerostepdrama's picture

Sorry if this has been posted here already.

This is supposedly what another "mother" would have written- regarding the letter going around "letter to my daughter’s stepmom"

All I have to say, is I think its "funny" that she had to write it so that the SM was the "other woman". Really this should be an open letter To the Mistress....

Stepmoms painted as the other woman.... all the time....

So there’s this syrupy “letter to my daughter’s stepmom” making the internet rounds that I feel compelled to address. In it, the mom tells her ex-husband’s new wife how beautiful, loving and kind she is; how lucky “they” all are to have her in their lives. “You’ve accepted our daughter from the very start and have unconditionally loved both her and her daddy, that’s a true gift to all of us,” mom writes lovingly to stepmom. Don’t get me wrong; I’m thrilled that these two women have become unwitting besties, and I’m positive the child in question will reap a lifetime of rewards because of it. Lucky they all indeed are.

But what do you do when your children’s stepmother isn’t beautiful, loving or kind? When she screwed your husband when he was still very much married to you? When she habitually smack-talks you to your children, refuses to engage in anything resembling functional co-parenting, sends you scathing, nonsensical texts and seemingly tries her best, on a daily basis, to make your life living hell?

I’m not divorced, but I’ve watched too many friends be forced to entrust their children—their babies, the fruit of their wombs—to some psychotic bitch who’s incompetent, clueless or in a few cases, downright evil. And while somehow my friends consistently manage to endure their fates with grace and poise, I’m going to guess that they’d love to shred that virally sensational stepmother letter and go out and buy a birdcage for the sole purpose of lining it with the scraps.

Here’s the letter I’m pretty sure some of them would like to write instead:

Dear Bitch,

I never wanted you here. I still don’t. But apparently I’m stuck with you, at least until he cheats on you and leaves you, too, so there are a few things I’d like you to know:

I don’t blame you for breaking up my marriage. It was my husband who promised to be true to me—not you. You were just a handy catalyst. But the very fact that you have no respect for the sanctity of marriage tells me everything I need to know about you. It breaks my heart every day to have to share my children with someone with such a colossal lack of morals, but I plan to use you as an example of everything I don’t want them to become.

Speaking of my children: These beautiful, bold, brave human beings you are so fortunate to have in your life are mine, not yours, and they always will be. They came out of my body and are a part of my soul. I would throw myself in front of a train for them and consider it a privilege of motherhood. If you ask them to call you mom, I will cut you.

I hated you with every fiber in my being before I even laid eyes on you, and then I somehow managed to hate you even more. You did nothing to deserve the pleasure of my children’s company, and if I knew I could get away with it, I would hunt you down in a dark alley, break all of your limbs and leave you there to rot.

Because you slept with my husband when he was married to me, you are a whore and always will be. I will be respectful to your face for my children’s sake, because they’ve been hurt enough already, but one day I will make sure they know this about you.

You were the scum of the earth already, but when you talk shit about me to my children behind my back (what a deplorable thing to do to them!) you are beyond disgraceful. As much as I despise you, and as much fodder as you’ve given me, I refuse to do this in return. One day my children will be old enough to understand which one of us was the admirable parent who had only their best interests at heart. I pine for that day and plan to savor it like a long, cool drink of water after a four-day hike in the desert.

My children do not like you. In fact, they wish you had never been born. They are kind to you because I raised them well and taught them to be respectful and obedient. But if they could rewind time and rewrite history, they would make sure you didn’t exist. Never forget that.

I don’t give a rat’s ass what you think about anything concerning my children’s lives. I truly, deeply don’t. If you have a parenting philosophy or even a simple opinion on something, keep it to yourself. I have zero interest in hearing it.

The only good thing I can say about you is that you did me a favor. Their daddy was a selfish, self-centered SOB and a complete asshole to be married to. And now he’s all yours.

Good luck with that.

~The Mother


Teas83's picture

"You did nothing to deserve the pleasure of my children’s company."

That part is hilarious.

another step's picture

Wow - this is so incredibly bitter. Sadly, I am pretty certain that many of us are dealing with BMs who have convinced themselves that they have every right to pen exactly these sentiments. And equally sadly, because of the unrelenting turmoil in our lives caused by cowed husbands, vengeful BMs, and spoiled skids, many of us wish that we had never laid eyes on any of them. They should have kept their domestic drama to themselves and not infected unsuspecting people with the creeping cruelty in which they live their miserable lives.

StepX2's picture

Bitterness to the umpth degree...that was my first thought too. In one paragraph she states she doesn't blame the SM as it was her exH who had made the committment but she does go on with extreme hatred that no matter how much she says she wouldn't want to cause anymore harm to her children, she is doing just that. Kids can sense what is going on. BM hates think SM must be bad and evil.

another step's picture

Duh! Blum 3

Snowflake's picture

Wow... this woman must be a gem to be married to. The sad part about it is that she will probably destroy her own marriage, like most all of the bm's, and still blame it on the sm. I can't see how someone would want to be married to such a nasty, vile, and bitter person such as this.

I personally could care less what bm in my life thinks of me. In my home it is an unspoken rule to NEVER talk about the bm.

Wow.. just wow.

zerostepdrama's picture

Right. Its funny that she is married and yet she is thinking about this and has this much pent up agression about something that hasnt even occurred in her own life. Odd.

zerostepdrama's picture

And by "pleasure" you mean- whining, crying, screaming, tantrum throwing, manipulative company, right?

Glassslipper's picture

It is funny...I like that one better than the fake one.
I think we all know that BM is a mean, nasty, bitter, woman and the letters posted out there where BM is thankful for SM is just a rainbow bubble of lies!

Glassslipper's picture

my BM broke up her own marriage...
Although I think the duck tape could have helped save it....
if she wrapped it around her knees....

another step's picture

Handyman's secret weapon. If they can't find you handsome, they can at least find you handy! (With apologies to The Red Green Show)

Aniki's picture

My exH was telling people he was divorced while we were still living together and "happily" married. I can only imagine what kind of lies he told his other women AND men about me when I came to meet him (at his request) at places where he regularly cheated.

Aniki's picture

Pretty low, IMO. Here I was thinking we were doing just fine...and he was cheating on me left and right.

Aniki's picture

No. Just because he was a lying cheating scumbag doesn't mean the woman/man knew it. They thought he was divorced. If they chose to continue a relationship with him afterwards, then they are also lower than whale poop.

Justme54's picture


Ljcapp1's picture

I'm a BM too, but I'm realistic. I think the worse CAN happen with my kids and I've tried to prepare them and myself if it does. I believe people when they tell me my kids did this or that, and I take care of it. I do not let my kids run the show and I do not let them be disrespectful to my DH.
But people like Sasquatch and DH are FLOORED and CAN'T believe their daughter would fuck something up. They can't believe she would be malicious or smart mouthed when they turn their backs. They can't believe I don't think she's as funny as they do or cute. They can't believe I don't fawn all over her because she is so smart and so much better than my boys. And the list goes on....

My Dh has gotten a lot better and realizes that kids fuck up. He's doesn't point fingers nearly as much as he used to. Instead now he blames Sasquatch for his kid's shitty behavior and that's a whole other blog.

Unfreakingreal's picture

I like my Skids. I have my moments when I hate them, but in general, they're pretty nice kids and we get along. The Disney Dad shit, is what is annoying but even DH has learned how to chill out with that garbage.

Snowflake's picture

My ex was not so faithful. I look back and realize that it was a symptom of a not so great marriage. I personally have not one ounce of bitter in my body.

The way I look at it is that I would not be with the love of my life (DH) had that not happened. Wink And we would not have our great kids.

At the time it certainly was not happy making, FAR from it. But it happens and you moved on. And in the end it actually worked out for me.

notmyfirstrodeo's picture

This just makes me sad. The only people this woman is hurting is her children. I feel so very sad for the bitterness they must witness on a daily basis. But it does paint a very vivid picture of what SD10 must suffer through at BM's house.

I don't care who cheats on who - it takes two to destroy a marriage. Most men (not all) don't wander if they are content in their marriage. And I can tell from her pleasant disposition, that she had absolutely nothing to do with her husband not being content. Good grief - get some therapy!!

misSTEP's picture

She's better because she doesn't bash the "other woman" but yet she is going to revel in making sure that her own children know this woman is a "whore".

Maybe the SM IS the other woman. If so, shame on both of them. Karma will come back to bite her when he probably DOES screw around on her.

BUT...BM thinks I am the "other woman" as well. I'm not sure why she thought they were still together. Oh, right, she squeezed out a couple of kids and told him they were his! That gave her first dibs for ETERNITY!!

I guess, "IT'S OVER!" and living in different residences didn't count for the BM I was so very lucky to have had the pleasure of knowing! I guess the fact that he married me and never would marry her doesn't register at all.

Unfortunately, there are psycho SMs just as there are psycho BMs (and good of each as well). I'd be very interested in what the TRUE story is!

Irene H.'s picture

While I have to admit it’s well-written, it’s written by a bitter, sanctimonious, martyr. I say this as a woman who saw her parents break up following infidelity, and as one whose first marriage ended after my ex cheated: there is no such thing as a home wrecker. If everyone is happy, no one is shopping around. My marriage was over, as was my parents’ marriage, long before he cheated. I can see that now, and even feel a little sorry for “the other woman,” because I know how hard she has it; I used to live her life, and I’m so glad I don’t anymore. 

The only really valid point, is that the other woman should not be bad mouthing mom. That really is classless, and you’re right that the kids will remember it.

I hope the author finds a way to be happier.