Things that have changed with adult skids.
1. I'm no longer in group texts that include bio mom. In fact I'm no longer in group texts at all. Which suits me just fine. When I realized that there was no desire to form anything other than a superficial relationship I ceased sending any initiated by myself. They all soon followed with not including me. I consider this a Win and confirmation that my desire to have a meaningful connection with them was not reciprocated. Took me over 2 years to realize.
2. Due to the adult skids refusal to respect my wish to not attend events which include the ex wife, I have been given cart blanc on not attending anything I don't feel compelled to. Including get togethers with or without the ex wife in attendance.
3. DH has finally realized that the skids including their mother at every get together is in fact disrespectful to him and our marriage and has decided to notify the kids he will no longer be at anything she is included in, but that they are free to reach out to him for one on on or get togethers. The downside to this, but not a big deal is he's decided to host a once a month brunch for them at our house, which as stated I can either attend or not. I'm ok with this, I have a lot of places and people I can go visit should this occur. Chances are it will be as difficult to coordinate as it always is and won't last long, which was why I stepped out of that position 2 1/2 years ago.
so that's where things are today.