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The joys of adult skids and their rational for using the people you know.

Zenmode's picture

This was originally a comment I was going to make on my previous blob but it turned into a novel so I moved it here instead. 

I was replying to someone in my other blog post and recallled this happening a few times.

I guess I can be thankful that myself and my children are just average joes because I have noticed the skids have no problem insinuating themselves in with the people in my life that have anything they (SKs) can use. For instance I'm friends with a well known artisan cheese maker in our area, she hosts amazing tastings and events. Sometimes wine pairings. When step daughters found out about that they were all over it, and not even subtle about wanting to be invited.  Full of all sorts of questions. I mean I think we had a record breaking 30 minute conversation just about this friend of mine. They did the same with my oldest son who is rather elusive. This was back years ago when I actually attempted a few co-mingled get togethers, and my oldest couldn't make it.  The oldest SD found out what his hobby/freelance career was and reached out to him via IG and set up a meeting with him at his studio. This was all news to me after the fact. She had not even met him face to face yet at that time, yet felt like she "should"reach out to him personally. Then she sort of got him to commit to a project she wanted done. He half heartedly committed and later when we spoke about it he asked me what I thought. I said do what you think is right but don't do the project at your own expense. He decided to push it to the bottom of his to do list and there it still sits years later LOL.

They also seem to want to know what I do with my own adult kids. That has been a repeating consistent theme over 6 years."have you done anything fuuuuun with your kids lately" I usually respond "well I guess it depends on what your idea of fun is" and then say nothing else HA! 

What is most interesting is we all know people like this, it's just a bit more challenging when they are so close to your spouse. 


caninelover's picture

Bratty tried to 'visit' my friends' elderly mother in a village in Mexico (with dementia who didn't speak English).  So yeah they have no shame LOL.

Stepdrama2020's picture

That one was priceless.

futurobrillante99's picture

Some people view other people as useful appliances.

Some people will make nice nice with others who have things like nice houses or pools or boats or toys so they can benefit from the association.

I take notice when people rarely do something for someone in a truly altruistic sense.

My XH1 wasn't into volunteering at all. My XH2 would volunteer if it meant he got a pat on the back. He would never privately or anonymously help someone. My SO isn't big on volunteering, but he will if it's something he's passionate about, but he mostly isn't interested in volunteering. I know he wouldn't do it just to get "attaboys" or likes on Facebook like my XH2.

I have friends who have nice things and places I sometimes benefit from, but I actually LIKE them. I have a British friend living here in the US who has a vacation place in France. She's talked incessantly about how I must come there with her. Of course! But, she is my friend and I care a great deal for her whether or not she has a place in France.

Shame on your SDs and their brazen attitudes about using anyone associated with you.

Zenmode's picture

Makes me absolutely crazy. The " virtue signaling" I mean I remember back in the day you helped out at the homeless shelter or with those in need and nobody even needed to know. I had a "friend" post a long detailed post about getting a second meal at McDonald's for the "guy holding a sign" and how appreciative he was for the meal. The post had to have taken longer to write than the actual event. It was cringeworthy. 

I was briefly a part of a "women empowering" group of ladies. On Facebook they looked like an amazing group of people. Face to face book, eh not so much. I'm so glad those days are behind me, real people are hard to meet apparently. 

Wicked stepmo.'s picture

I have had the same experience and expect it to get worse as SKs get older. OSD always wanted to come with me when we were going nice places so she could take pics and post them as if she were something special. I noticed she did the same thing with BMs exBF also. 

YSD would hound me to go hang out with my friends who had camps, boats and pools.