You are here

UPDATE: FDH decided "enough"!!! On the drama with BM & Bio Fam

zenjetset's picture

Sad first let me say I'm very sad by ALL that transpired this past week with BM & Gang! My heart is completely and utterly torn with a thousand small slits!

Around 10:30am FDH gets this text from BM
BM:i have read the horrible comments zen made to my sister about my parenting etc. she is just a girlfriend not a wife. She is not Authorized by me anymore and is not to pick up Our children until further notice! if you cant pick them up before six, let me know! I will have my family pick them up, and you can get them later this evening at your convenience! I will no longer speak with her regarding the kids only you! Get your phone back and call me! You are breaking communication with me! A leal problem per atty! Have a nice weekend with your kids!

After FDH reads it he forwards it, goes back to work and what he was working on blows-up in his face. He is ok! Thank God! But he said he felt the electricity run through him and he was shaking! I was filled with mixed emotions. ONE worried about my very soon to be future husband and TWO pissed the hell off at BM and this while f'ing situation that has consumed our entire week and now nearly takes the life of my fdh!!!!

So, I tell fdh he needs to regroup, gather himself, make sure he is ok or if he needs to go to hospital. We talk for a little bit, he says this is why we have told her not to text or call me during work. He says he never (never is not an overstatement either) has anything good to say. It's never an emergency and I'm sick of it. I'm going to lose my life if this continues. He said I agree honey you're right. I said you need to get an atty (he has old but she sucks) and let him deal with it. Right now though and moving forward you need to take care of yourself and unfortantely address this text message.

As we are talking BM calls him, leaves him a voice mail saying that he needs to call her immediately that she doesn't care he is at work! She is at work and it shouldn't matter! (two totally different kind of work - fdh with electricity - bm in an office). She said they need to be communication daily regarding the children and that he has not called her regarding SD11 being bullied. She said she is documenting everything! (hahaha! We have been for 7 months now).

So, fdh calls her...
He said he said... I am also the parent of these girls, I will call up after are and just tell them to add zen back on the pickup list. (they went back and forth, I'll take her off, I'll put her on)

fdh got pissed he said "Ive had enough of you, your family threatening me and zen!!! Zen has done nothing to anyone and neither have I. This is all because you wouldn't keep your word!"

Bm replied saying zen hates me, she doesn't like my parenting, she threatens me"!!!
Let just say I have never ever ever once done or said anything to this woman. On the contrary I have bent over backwards and I rearranged my entire work schedule at times to make things work for everyone! I know not my respondibilty not my kids! But I do it for fdh and then kids and then her.

Fdh had it-- more was said (but I'm on iPhone and it's difficult to type it all out) long story short fdh told bm to pound sand. He said he was not going to pick up the kids at all. That she was interfering and ha been interfering since 2008 and this was it. He was over it! He would see her in court!

bm then texted....
To confirm our conversation... You have stated u do not want the children on your sched. Visition this weekend! Your children will be at their grandmothers house if you decide you want them and u can pick them up anytime there! i will tell them you have to work and thats why they are with my mom! they will be hurt of they knew!
#####

WTF?!?! You're going to blame fdh and work!

fdh text back...
Fdh:I do want to see them but you have made it impossible. You need to tell the girls the truth! Do not blame me or my work. It's because your decisions not mine or my work!

Bm:You are hurting the kids not me! I am not your escape goat anymore! Zen won! She got you to give up your kids! I am at the school now picking kids up! So they are safe this weekend! Move on with your new life with no kids and your new home! thats your priority!

WTF?!?! If you read my most recent posts you will catch up on this weeks situation when we had agreed to allow kids to go to a party after bm agreed to drive them to and from then the following day she informed us she was leaving to Atlanta and would not be available to make it work and that we were invited to party with her crazy ass bio gang!!!

fdh says he is tired of fighting an up hill battle. The kids have heard all the conversations over the passed week (one sided of course because bm and gang speak freely in front of kids) and there is nothing he can do! He almost got killed today and when he said so to bm on the phone she said "yeah sure right, whatever! I dont believe you or care!"

Yep, she doesn't care when he had cancer she did nothing for him. His father went with him to the hospital check on him and cooked! She did nothing except waited until he would die! But he didn't thank god!!! She was even making sure life insurance was valid and reading it like a book he said. She is a horrible person!!!

Comments

zenjetset's picture

Spunki thanks very much! We have writing her a formal letter and she continues. Usually fdh dies nothing with them until he gets home, but this week and today with the issues he had enough. I will give him your advise and we will add a date to it. Last time I think we said as the date of this letter type of thing. That was in May 2010 she has not listened and continues with phones calls and texting.

I think we will also have his atty write a letter too. She doesn't know what boundaries means.

zenjetset's picture

Ok I think this bm has some major personality emotional issues. She just texted fdh like nothing was communicated after she confirmed!!!

bm:The girls are at home with me if you care to pick them up!
######

We are ignoring the text. FDH turned off his phone. She has my number and his fathers if it's an emergency!

I can't have my fdh out in the field working with high voltage electricity worrying about this!

prayerhelps's picture

I have to agree with Proud Arrow. I think your FDH jumped the gun in anger saying he wouldn't pick up kids. Pick them up and enjoy weekend with them---Don't care less if they miss a party, no matter what ex IL's say or do. It is ok for DH to say he didn't mean that and said it in anger. BM totally got your DH off track on what the issue was by turning it into zen, rather than the party---very juvenile, yes, but she did it and won by getting DH to cancel visitation.

prayerhelps's picture

Oh yeah---BM and SD use this technique very frequently---we have learned not to get off the real topic at hand by those attacking remarks

zenjetset's picture

I agree and I believe he is ready to back what he say up! I know what you mean about sharing the text, but I'm ok with it. fdh usually can't read them that well anyway(needs glasses) and he usually doesn't have time to respond. But I totally understand!

Regarding the girls hearing things...it's not at our house. We never say anything about anyone. And I mean anyone not just bm and gang. It's a way of us insuring our personal life is not shared by the girls to their bio clan.

zenjetset's picture

yes we were suppose to, but bm text saying she took me off the p/u list. fdh told her he was adding me and she said no! Then they went back and forth he got angry and said keep them, I'm tired of it! I'm paraphrasing but that was the end of it.

She then went to aftercare early to pick up the girls in case I should up! I usually do the p/u on Friday because fdh works until 6 or 7. By the time I get home usually he is home or close to home.

Then a bit ago she sent that text! If he wanted to pick them up they were home with her!!!

He is NOT going to! She interfered the entire week with our time, then made it impossible!!! He will only speak to her next via atty!

This has been a habit of bm forabout two years fdh is tired. Today when he had something blow up on him and she just didn't care...it was over.