Zen mode's Blog
If you read through my previous blogs, other than my frustration with most of them in general with their non engagement and some entitled behaviors, the running theme through them is OSS causing issues throughout the years. DH accidentally let it slip that he has issues with me and that it upsets DH because I'm so amazing (his words LOL) bless his heart, but this came as no surprise, OSS has not hidden it as well as he thinks, for over five years.
As I sit here enjoying my coffee not driving for two hours to see my non grandchild participate in sports.
Epiphany of why Sm’s shouldn’t attempt to facilitate get togethers with skids.
Be around the SKs? I'm not really sure whether I should just say, by all means go, spend time with them, build YOUR relationship with them and the gkids, but I'll pass.
I did tell him that I am less and less inclined to organize or reach out on my own as I have in the past because apparently it makes no difference since there are all these "feelings" about "family" right now, what I didn't say was, in fact I'm totally done doing that, no more girls nights at my initiation no more Xmas cookie making or organized Xmas outings or impromptu dinner invites initiated by me.
It's been 30 years. 5 since I came into his life. Little things get said about his "availability" when they want to engage. Yet from what I've seen he is very much an afterthought in their lives but they act like he should drop everything for them when they are available. The kicker is, they really don't reach out much on their own. Most live within 10 miles of us. One SD is on a whole "healing journey" and considers herself a "facilitator" and insists on dragging us along.
(Left a comment in a post about this, so now here is a blog!) I've said before that my SKs are pretty much a lot of talk and postering about "family" but strangely their dad and I get left out of the publicity blitz on socials, because....well who knows other than it's all for show and we don't roll that way. Things get said a lot like "let's get together and do..........insert event that unless I or their dad plans doesn't happen, so one of those is "let's do coffee" and I thought why not? DH is working from home, it'll be nice for everyone.
Shel Silverstens enabling, martyr-ish codependent book and two others that teach about "selflessness" have had alternate endings with boundaries written for them. These are so much healthier. I loved this and thought I'd share.
One of my own sons has a snotty girlfriend and for nearly 7 years I have bought her and her two girls gifts for Xmas, I barely get spoken to by this chick. I have been extremely patient and bent over backwards attempting to make her feel welcome. My recent experiences with the Skids have made me realize why bother?
More weirdness, but things are starting to make sense. Some more conflict with the oldest (40 ish) step son. He's upset that his dad isn't supporting his narrative of conspiracy theories. Eh..... people our age have seen a lot of stuff and we just don't get all riled up like you young folk (sarcasm).
Well, got through the birthday party last night. Narc-hole Ss didn't say one word to me. Not hello, not goodbye, nothing. S-daughter in law said hello and goodbye, when she said goodbye I leaned in (wearing my mask) and said we need to have a talk, she readily ageed.