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Difficult but also love

Zassi's picture

Its a rough job being a step parent. Dealing with the ex's make it rough but the love of the children is helpful.


Zassi's picture

I've been a step parent for a year on Monday. N both my step daughters are from different moms the oldests mom is okay dealing with and then there is the youngests mom who is s complete nightmare. We're going to court in a couple of days she is taking us for contempt of the custody order which in fact she is in contempt. She is also trying to change the custody from joint legal and joint physical to our time visitations. This person I put a restraining order on because she is so vicious. Has anyone dealt with this same issue?

Acratopotes's picture

I think we all deal with these issues.....

all I can advice, disengage from BM, she's nothing to you, you do not speak to her, you simply ignore her... actually all off them, just because your DH was married or had children with these woman does not mean you have to talk to them or tolerate their crap....

simply tell DH - you slept with that you deal with that, I will not be pulled into this drama

sunshinex's picture

It's very difficult, but if you have stepkids who are capable of loving you, then it can be worth it. I'm thankful I got into a relationship when SD was really young and BM is very out of the picture, so SD loves me a lot and tells me that every day. When things get hard, I try to focus on the fact that every young child needs a mother figure when there's is absent. If BM gets involved in the future, SD starts to dislike me, or anything goes wrong, I try to tell myself that I can't regret and resent everything i've done because she needed me at the time.

AJanie's picture

The love of the children keeps me going some days. I cherish the closeness and love while it lasts.

BethAnne's picture

For me the child's love is not the reason I stick around it is because of my husband, after all I married him and want to be with him for the rest of my life. These child rearing years are temporary. If he wasn't worth it I would not be here.

ChiefGrownup's picture

My DH is super wonderful.

My ss15 loves me and is probably the most lovable person I've ever met.

So that's two.

Then there's the other side. SD17 is an extremely stressful person who up and decided to hate me even though her own bm does not.

So even though the score is 2-1 there's heavy handicapping because some days the evil gobbles up an awful lot of the good.