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Suicide Threats

z3girl's picture

Just when I thought things were calming down and SD24 was growing up, the drama arrives again.

SD just turned 24. She is planning to move across the country next month to attend grad school that BM will be paying for. DH said he would give SD24 $1000 toward her security deposit for an apartment. He doesn't agree with her field of study or how she is going about this (she has loans from undergraduate study, and hasn't really thought through what she intends to live on, and will rack up even more loans this time) so he has no intentions of paying for any of this degree. He was forced to pay for her last one with no input...thanks NJ.

So last night DH was texting constantly after he got home from work. Finally he tells me there's drama all over again. SD24 texted him that she doesn't know what to do because BM refuses to cosign for an apartment. She didn't immediately ask for help, but she was clearly expecting Daddy to make it all better. DH said he will give her $1000 for her security deposit as agreed, but that's it. He wrote that she's an adult and needs to figure things out for herself. She went off the deep end and accused him of not liking her boyfriend who is moving out there with her, and said she's going to kill herself if this doesn't work out. DH then gets a text from BM asking him to call her regarding the suicide threat, and DH wrote back a brilliant response. He wrote something along the lines of he will not call her, and that SD24 was acting completely immature and she is an entitled spoiled brat because of BM. He almost wrote the same thing to SD24 in response to her suicide threat. (She does not have depression, so it was obvious to us that it was an empty threat to try to get what she wants.) I told DH if SD24 continues with the threats, tell BM to call 911 and have her taken for emergency observation. Otherwise ignore it. DH didn't think it was worth saying that to BM. DH also told SD24 that he was completely self-sufficient at her age, he paid his own way through graduate school, and he would have been embarrassed to even consider asking his parents to help him. He called her an immature brat for threatening suicide just because she hit a road bump with her plans. Being an adult consists of figuring things out because there will be problems. SD24 then tried to accuse DH of having it easy because he has rich parents. THAT was clearly BM feeding SD24 false information. DH's parents have money, but only since they inherited from their own parents. They are very frugal with their money (ie refuse to pay for premium gasoline or cable internet in their house!) and DH is too proud to take anything from them even if they were to offer.

At one point, I told DH that SD24 must not know him very well if she went to him expecting to be coddled and told everything would be ok. DH quickly agreed with me. This made me laugh inside because SD24 loves to tell me that she's known DH longer than I have, and therefore knows him better than I do. Uh, sure....

I was also completely on my own long before I turned 24, so this is all very amusing to me...

We're having our youngest baptized on Sunday, and SD24 is supposed to join us for it. I wonder if she'll calm down enough by then. Hmm...

Comments

z3girl's picture

DH wasn't always like this. The day before SD turned 18, she bit DH (drew blood) and called the police on him because he took away "her" car for having an attitude. (Car was his in reality.) He never made her apologize, and never discussed her behavior. That incident landed me here on this site! Thank goodness he came to his senses since then!

z3girl's picture

Crazy, isn't it? When are these "kids" expected to grow up? When they're 30? SMH....

misSTEP's picture

I hate to tell you but I had a friend whose brother, for some idiotic reason (oh yeah, because he COULD), lived with their mother until she died. She was on social security. He was 54 :jawdrop: and worked as being Santa Claus. That's right. Full grown adult who only worked for a couple months tops out of the YEAR.

My friend, on the other hand, had severe medical issues and had been told he wouldn't live past 16. He died when he was 33 and worked almost his entire adult life.

z3girl's picture

Yikes, I'm so sorry. My DH is a pretty hard person. If you're looking for sympathy and a shoulder to cry on, he's not the right person. (Except when my cat died a few weeks ago. I was shocked at how sweet he was about that. Hmm.)

z3girl's picture

Right!? Seriously, the boyfriend is either 26 or 27. If he can't sign for an apartment, then maybe he really is a loser. I signed for my own apartment by myself at 22! DH doesn't care one way or the other about the boyfriend. Thank goodness DH won't cosign for anything for her.

Tuff Noogies's picture

go z's dh!

my brother's ss15 tried that shit when he didnt feel like doing his homework. got him three days in the psych ward.
he says ss15 has been MUCH better behaved since then!

but then again, he's 15 and a high-functioning aspie. NOT a damn 24 yr old forcrissake. pssshhht.

z3girl's picture

If she continues, she absolutely deserves to be in a psych ward.

My 77 year old father has threatened suicide a few times in the last year, and my DH convinced me to call the police on him and try to get him committed. I bet that was on DH's mind when this came up...

z3girl's picture

DH and I have 3 very young children together (4,3, and 4 months) so I know that he won't shell out anything for SD24 if she gets pregnant. She is BM's only child, so I bet BM would just continue to enable SD.

Can you imagine a baby born to these two people who can't support themselves?? Oh wait, that's common on here, isn't? Wink

WTF...REALLY's picture

24?????? Good grief.

She needs a " How to be an adult class"....seriously...what a joke.