Tired of being micromanaged Gma
I'm a mom of a son who married a woman (who had no job or income) with children who thinks it her job to run our family. Ive been told off, questioned, told what to do, what I do wrong, what supposed 'tone' I say things in (even though he was not in the room). Every interaction with her for a full yr before the marriage resulted in a phone call within a day or so (from my son) telling me what I did wrong, how I 'looked' at her..., you name it, she came up with a complaint about it. All from a woman who brought herself and 3 kids in tow, but no job or income of any sort. The financial burden definitely affected my grandkids. Not many people can take on a family of four and not change their lifestyle. My son is a hard worker but by no means a huge wage earner, just your average guy. We (my husband and I) can seriously walk away from a gathering thinking it went well...no conflict, and sure enough....I would get a call dissecting my every word, look, tone, you name it. My husband and I have done a lot for them. Anything from making curtains, loaning money, running errands. Never seems to be good enough. This has lead to my avoidance of contact & interaction with both her and her children. Yes, I understand its not the childrens fault....but seems like my son wants the illusion of one big happy family and it cannot happen with her being ever watchful and ridiculing us. My grandkids are not allowed to say anything about her kids, no matter if its true or not. My daughter witnessed my grandson getting chewed out for telling us that one of the step-moms kids broke his ipod. The grandkids also get upset because step-moms kids wear their clothes and if they say anything....step-mom seems to not care & lets her kids continue to wear it. So much more,....and thankfully its not a physical or verbal abuse situation....but its more of a thing that step-mom seems to care more about her own kids than my sons kids, even though he is the main support. (she did finally get part time job)...and she seems to place herself on a pedestal and we are treated as her lowly subjects. I have friends with step-grandchildren who treat them as their own. I can't. I wish it were different...but it is what it is. Seen many things online/social media that back up my perception of what goes on. Even seen her kids wearing my grandkids clothing. I know what they tell me is true. We don't want conflict so we don't bring this up with my son....but I am genuinely wondering if anyone is dealing with something similar ?