Shameful Anger
I wish I could erase my step daughter from our family. This is a horrible thing to say, I know. I love her. I miss her. I worry about her. All of the time. Right now though, things are really, really bad. The pain she causes my husband and the hurt she inflicts on her little sisters, my daughters, drives me crazy with anger.
This child is a teenager, but she is still a child, and is acting like one. Wihtout giving any indication that she is upset with us, she has cut us out of her life in most ways. She has even started taking her mothers maiden name. This is a total slap in my husbands face. He is the kind of dad who has ALWAYS been their for his daughter. Every school event, parent teacher, soccer, piano and swim lesson. Now, in her teenage wisdom, she is acting like this? I hate to see my husband sad and hurt over this. I hate that my girls miss their sister and they don't know why they can't see her or talk with her. I hate this whole mess.
Right in this moment, I wish I could take down all the pictures and things that were hers. I want to put them in a box and store them on a shelf. I don't want to look around my house and see her face, and be reminded of the pain that has infected my house because of her.
I am holding onto the hope that one day, my step daughter will wake up and realise how much we love her, and miss her and want to be a part of her life. I guess I just want to remove the reminde of the hurt and pain and not actually erase her from my life. I am pretty angry right now. I won't feel this way forever.
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i doubt she will. at some
i doubt she will.
at some point, kids come to an age when they will not change.
take the pics down, if your husband is also in agreement to this, and move on, because your sd certainly has.
how old are your girls?
She'll wake up but it may
She'll wake up but it may take her some time. Like you said, it's her "teenage wisdom" at work here. I have a teenage daughter and it's not easy...she's a great kid but sometimes I just look at her and wonder where in the heck she comes up with some of the things she does!
The teen years are such a tumultuous time and kids don't always think clearly in those years and then wake up later. I've seen it happen countless times.
I would just let her know that the door is always open and go from there. I wouldn't take down her pictures, though, because WHEN she does wake up, she'll be very hurt and it might make the situation worse.
“Every truth has two sides; it is as well to look at both, before we commit ourselves to either”~Aesop
I understand how you feel.
I understand how you feel. Only my SD is here daily to inflict her hatred upon us. But when she leaves for school, or a friends, her presence looms large in the totally destroyed and clothes to the ceiling bedroom, the dyed black hair all over the bathroom, the trash left lying around the house she refuses to throw away...
And this morning, the intensely nauseating grape Aussie hair spray/ addidas perfume she squirted all over herself from the upstairs bathroom to the half bath downstairs. I had to light candles and practically do a house cleansing ceremony to stop coughing and feeling irritated at how thoughtless she is with her things and the house.
No real advice to ad. I would take down most pics and ask DH what ones he wants left up specifically. But you have to leave it up to him.
HUGS,
Sita Tara
"Parental love is unconditional, relationships are reciprocal." ~Zen