At a loss
At a loss. I met with SD counselor to gain some insight and perspective if I am doing the right thing by stepping back. He was supportive of my decision agreeing that in my current situation I am powerless and the only way to gain some control is to disengage.
But, he also confirmed my worst fears that SD shows signs of having a personality DO. I always sensed something with her even when things were good between us. We were never able to have a normal conversation. She doesnt talk about school, her friends, her interests, her goals for the future or even talk about her day. I always gave her the benefit of the doubt that she was guarded with me. When we do spend time together alone all she does is make up grandiose things about herself. An example is she is the girliest, girl I have ever known. She considers walking on treadmill for 5 min a workout because she doesnt want to sweat. She has zero interest in sports she is more of an academic. So, I didnt even know how to respond when she went on for quite some time about how the football coach approached her and asked her to try out for the football team. She was very detailed in her story. She even went on about how she has played football before and can tackle. I know that's not true but she speaks with such conviction. Also this is a girl who comes running to me because she gets beat up by her younger sister who is half her size. That's a whole other story in itself.
My dilemma is trying to cope with what I know and that I understand that she is going to have life long issues and keeping that information to myself. SO wouldn't understand for one and for two no parent wants to hear thier children aren't perfect human beings or that thier something wrong with them. It took me years to get over my own personal feelings of guilt knowing my BS had a learning disability and would struggle through school and the hardship of having other adults only focus on what he couldn't do and not all the great things he could do. I dont want to be that person for my SO that is only focused on the negative, I want to try and be more of a support than a Debbie downer. Plus SD likes to use anything I say to try and play the victim with SO. He will hear negative things from enough people especially as she gets older and is unable to maintain healthy relationships.
I am just trying to work on keeping my emotions in check because she can be absolutely vicious when she is not getting her way or she is not the center of attention. It's easier under normal circumstances because I have a very busy life. But has become more of a struggle during the lockdown.