Hi Everyone! I use to frequent this site often in my early step-parenting days. The last 3 years or so have been pretty calm but like a light switch have flipped just like that. I will say that prior to the last 3 years my husband, my stepson (now 12), and myself were put through HELL by BM. We had the childsupport and visitation revisted both in our favor. Since the revisit and birth of my daughter things have been calm that was 3 years ago. Now BM is back in action and as nasty as ever.

The last few blow ups have hit me hard as it has been so long since the last one and they caught me off guard. The blow ups from BM also hurt me more now that I am a bio mother myself I ask "not even for your son can you lay down your hate". BM is the typical bare minimum to get by. She has us by the sack knowing that all she has to say is I can't afford or I can't do it and she knows we will because it is for SS and she says I can't afford and I can't do it all the time. Now that SS is older he sees her more now for how she really is than when he was younger but there is still that loyalty to his mom.

I am just in need of encouragement to stay strong. I know some step situations are way worse in that the kid is awful and the kid can't stand the step- parent. My situation with my SS is great. he is very loving and we are close. He has great relationship with his dad and his sister(my daughter) too. The relationship has always been good but it got better after I had my daughter and as he has gotten older.

Last weekend BM ruined our suprise party for SS birthday changing it so that we had to get him in the day at last minute then complains because Husband told her she had to come pick him up if she wanted him back and she no shows till 7pm and was suppose to have been 3pm. SS heard his mother call is dad a Mother F***er and tell him that we would never get him again. So SS spent 4 hours of his birthday stressing his mom picking him up and starting a fight.

I just feel so discouraged and feel as though I cannot live through the hell all over again... and not living through it would mean leaving my husband and then she would win. I just feel so low about it all