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Family photo with ex, children and grandchild

Want my life back's picture

Has anyone else experienced this hurt. Adult step-children wanting a family photo with their mum and dad at weddings etc without any regard to new partner and their natural children.


Kes's picture

What, you mean you are expected to stand off to the side with your kids and allow your partner to be photographed with the ex and the SKIDs? You have got to be kidding. It is bad enough SKIDs wanting old photos of their ma and pa up in their room, but this is beyond reasonable.

DASKRA's picture

I guess when I got married with divorced parents I did have one photo with my dad and my mom. Then one with my dad's family and one with my mom's and one with my Step-dad and his wife. It's hard when it comes to weddings.

Nightshade's picture

There were pics of DH and Ex walking SD down the aisle which was fine, what I had to take offense to and will never forgive H for being such a stupid ass, was his brother(ASSHOLE bil) sneaking off to get the photog and rounding up DH and his EX and their grandson(son of the bride), who had fallen asleep by this time....for a "family pic" of the bride(SD)DH, EX, and Asshole BIL..keep in mind ABIL has been married for over 30 years but apparently, according to his actions, his wife isn't "family" either, nor is SD husband apparently...just DH, EX, BIL and GS..DH and EX looked like deer in the headlights and gs was asleep so the asshole BIL is actually propping the kid up and holding his neck straight...a beautiful pic....LMFAO!!!And BIL wonders why no one, including the EX want anything to do with him..what an ass!!!!!

twopines's picture

When SS29 got married, I can't remember if there was one of just him, DH and BM. Stuff like that doesn't bother me. There were 4 parents, 3 stepparents, and about a billion pictures with different combinations of everyone. Not my kid, so I considered myself just along for the ride. And the open bar.

realitycheckmom's picture

As a child of divorce I always wanted a picture of my parents together with me. Other kids had those, why couldn't I? Sometimes its not about the Stepmom and its all about wanting your parents and being like everyone else.

twopines's picture

Yup. My stepfather will not be in any photo with his ex. Period. He told this to both my stepbrothers before they got married, and darned if both boys didn't try to get their mom and dad together in a photo. My stepdad wouldn't do it. I guess they thought if he was put on the spot, he would "get over it". Joke was on my dumbass stepbrothers. They could have saved themselves the embarrassement of watching their dad say NO to them in front of a lot of people.

Bio father's picture

I think the whole reason for asking for a picture like that is because they want pictures of the people who made this day possible, her parents. It has nothing to do with diminishing the SM's. Let them have their day, it is about them. Suck it up and get through it.

Most Evil's picture

For the stepmom pic, I would still include your husband as it is at your wedding!

I am sure stepmom can stand having her photo taken for 1 second, so you have a pic of that side of the family?

Maybe it is not as big a deal to her to pose with him as you think? I would hope not Smile

Most Evil's picture

Hey maybe you can specifically call and invite your stepmom directly and say,

I would really like to have you and sis in photos for such an important occasion. Nothing weird will happen if you do this. I do sincerely apologize for the past and would like to ask your cooperation in this matter.?

Of course I guess it just depends on what happened, and you don't have to say here, but that is your best shot?

Most Evil's picture

At my SD's graduation, I was the photographer and it was just natural to put the first pose with the graduate, her mom and her dad. I think SD/BM were surprised, like there was some deep meaning to the photo, but it just seemed like a natural pose to me, and no threat to my marriage at this point!.

We also had photos of all the girls (me as stepmom, SD and BM) - which now strikes me as weird but again whatever. Actually it was a very brief meeting specifically for pictures so we just took a ton of pics and then left.

My SD would not give us tickets to her graduation unless we appeared at this meeting, which we did show up for because we had traveled very far to see the graduation, but I found a really rude request, but whatever, play your games, we went. The whole weekend was miserable for me, but important to SD! so whatever.!!

They can have their picture - I have my husband!! lol

Lalena75's picture

I wanted pictures of myself, my dad, my mom, and my husband and then one without my mom and with my sm and my dad. My sm threw a temper tantrum childish hissy and there are no pictures of either my dad or sm at all in any wedding photos, I bawled over her antics it was MY wedding and what I wanted. My now exdh wanted so bad to go off on them for making me cry on my wedding day. If I ever marry again they will be told before hand this is how I want MY pictures at MY wedding and if they don't like it don't come. One day that's about the kid not the parents and someone always seems to have to get their panties twisted. I'm still pissed about it 15 years later.

texstep's picture

At mine and dh's wedding we had varying combinations of "parental pictures" both of our parents are divorced and all but my mom remarried. So we ended up with the following combinations with dh and myself:

1. All 7 Parents
2. My mom, dad and stepmom
3. Dh's mom, stepdad, dad,and stepmom
4. All 4 bio parents
5. My bio Parents
6. Dh''s bio parents
7. My dad and stepmom
8. Dh's dad and stepmom
9. Dh's mom and stepdad
10. My mom

And of course our 8 siblings scattered into the pictures depending on which set of parents they belong to.
Made for lOts of pictures, but everyone was happy. My 3 parents all get along fine... My mom and stepmom always sat together at activities or me and my sister even if my dad wasn't there. My MIL and SMIL can hardly e in the same room without MIL causing a scene... But all was well on that day

knucklehead's picture

I think you misunderstand. It's isn't about "having a picture of them together as a couple." I don't think "couple" comes into play at all in this. It's about being parents. They are the parents of the child (bride/groom.) Simple.
It's not like mom and dad are posing for prom-type pics. Wink

Biomomof2's picture

Long story... My parents have been married 3 times to each other. My brother was a product of the first, me of the second. Didn't met my dad until I was 16 (long story... He died 4 years ago, after bein told my whole life he didn't pay child support, she didn't know where he was... I found the child support proof and the letters and the court paperwork proving he was fighting for visitations... Bm's beware... She lost me forever) they were married for the 3rd time when I was17. I have one picture of us three none with my brother in them... And it is and will always be on my wall. I have a picture of dad fishing (commercial fisherman) that gets hung in a new place first.
My parents sucked it up at my brothers wedding for him..

knucklehead's picture

Seriously?? I consider both of my parents to be MUCH more than biological contributors and I see myself as more than just evidence of a sexual encounter. :?

12yrstepmonster's picture

I must be strange. Having a picture of me and my natural parents.......was too strange. Why would I want a pic like that? The fact is that I have two families and act as such. It is both a curse and blessing.

knucklehead's picture

OP, I think it's perfectly normal for a bride/groom to want a photo with their natural parents. I don't think it's a slam on any step or anything. Sometimes, it's about the family.

3familiesIn1's picture

I hope my skids don't marry, graduate, win any award, really nothing that involves pictures.......