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Feeling resentful

Want to be a better SM's picture

Submitted by Want to be a be... on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 6:42pm

I was married 6 months ago. I moved into my dh house with 3 skids. I thought that was the best thing to do as not to uproot them from school and their friends since during the divorcing years thay were shuffled around enough. They are teenagers and live with us full time and their mother rarely takes them and if she does, it is one at a time. I never had children, but adore my 4 neices aged 8 to 22 so I thought this would be easy and fun like with them.

In addition to being extremely unclean and messy, his kids write on their bedroom walls in their bedrooms A LOT!. My dh painted the wall that you can see from the hall way, but all of the other walls are covered. I feel that this is disturbing and unacceptable behavior. I am resentful that I am paying so much to live in this house while it is being destroyed. Am I overreacting?

My husband and I make the same salary most years. We agreed to split the mortgage and property taxes in half and he would pay for the utilities. I also pay for cable interent because I need it for work.

Comments

buttercookie's picture

Submitted by buttercookie on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 7:29pm

I wouldn't pay half if that's how he's allowing his spawn to behave. Looks like there is 5 of you there. Pay 1/5th until he controls his kids.

Milomom's picture

Submitted by Milomom on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 8:15pm

naturalmom, I am somehow convinced that we have the same SD (or at least extremely parallel lives).

Yes, my FSD16 has wanted to paint her walls black for about 3 years or so now. My BF & I say "no way" to that. Unfortunately, SD gets a lot of her "taste" in things from her loser mother. If she could walk around school wearing cleavage-baring black shirts (with a necklace hanging in a strategically placed position at her cleavage), black nailpolish, black hair with all different color stripes (you get the idea) - kinda like the "goth" look, she would. My FSD isn't looking for an "80's look", she's more into the witchcraft/vampires/goth look JUST.LIKE.HER.MOTHER.

Milomom's picture

Submitted by Milomom on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 9:05pm

naturalmom, you caught me.

Damn (Milomom hanging head in shame).

While I'm making confessions, I should also let you know that I'm gonna ride my broomstick up to that witch convention up in Salem, Massachusetts to check THAT out as well. After all, Halloween is my favorite holiday Wink , It's not just for mysterious goth BM's anymore....

LOL!!!

Milomom's picture

Submitted by Milomom on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 8:11pm

luv them all - please, please tell us that you are joking/being sarcastic with the chalkboard paint idea for the OP here. My God, these skids are TEENAGERS!! Talk about encouraging dysfunctional behavior - giving TEENAGE skids chalk to write on their walls?!? Come on, already - this is beyond absurd. Somehow, I doubt this is the solution/validation the OP was seeking when she posted this.

Nothing personal, luv them - maybe you didn't see the part where she said her 3 skids are all TEENAGERS!!

Edit: this was supposed to have posted right below the 1st reply made my luv them all - for some reason, it is popping up way down here.

Want to be a better SM's picture

Submitted by Want to be a be... on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 9:00pm

Thanks for all of the comments. My question was not about backing out of the deal I had with my DH, it was about feeling resentful.

I feel that the toughest part of being a SM is that when I don't totally love the kids and are their #1 advocate, then I am a bad person. I especially feel this way when I start feeling dislike toward them because of something they do.