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Thing2's graduation and other tales from the weekend

WalkOnBy's picture

Well, I didn't see Asshat or Money-Ka the whole weekend, so WIN WIN!! Thing2's ceremony was great, he was recognized for winning an award for his research paper and the weather was great!!!

My mother was her usual bitchy passive aggressive self and just about made me lose it. Here is but one example-

DH and I got to the hotel around 5pm. We checked in and I got a text from my step mom letting me know that she and my dad had made it and that they were headed down to the bar to watch the Kentucky Oaks coverage. Cool. DH and I unpacked a little bit and then headed down to the bar around 5:30 or so. Dinner was at 6:30.

At 6:01, I get a text from my mom "Thing1 and I are here. Are u in ur room?" (yes, my 73 year old mom uses that stupid text language instead of actual words) I replied "nope, we are down in the bar with Dad and SM." Approximately 4 minutes later, she and Thing1 appear in the bar, they take seats at the opposite end (away from my dad and SM and me, which is totally cool, I get it) and each order a drink.

Sounds fine, right? NOPE!!! She later complained to my husband that she felt excluded because I didn't invite her to come join us at the bar. UH - SHE APPEARED AT THE BAR RIGHT AFTER I TEXTED HER THAT WE WERE IN THE BAR!! When my husband asked her why she felt that way because she clearly came down to the bar, she said that "it would have been nice to be invited." Uh - since we were all on the 7th floor of the hotel and it took her less than 5 minutes to get my text and then appear in the bar, WHAT????

She spent the rest of the weekend complaining that my dad and SM were at the dinner, in the same hotel (the hotel was on campus, within walking distance to the ceremony AND contained the restaurant where we had dinner, so yeah, I booked all the rooms there), at the ceremony and on and on and on. She even complained that I drove my dad home so that my SM could leave the ceremony in the morning and make a bridal shower in the afternoon. Ugh.....

Then there was DH - who got all red faced ANY TIME anyone congratulated my on getting all three of my kids out of college and successfully launched. EVERY TIME he would say "nope, you have three more" and EVERY TIME I would say, "um, nope."

Yesterday was our anniversary and we talked a little bit about why he said that and why I reacted the way I did. He said that he didn't like it when I didn't refer to the skids as mine. I told him that I have never done that and even if we all DID get along, they ARE NOT MY KIDS!! He said he understood that, but it hurt his feelings. I told him that I wasn't trying to hurt his feelings, but was only being factual. Another ugh....I did tell him that I might feel differently if he had allowed me to "parent" them in our home, but he doesn't, so I don't.

Finally, an ASS update. DH went from Thing2's university up to ASSState to collect ASS from the dorm and deliver him to DH's parents. College has taught ASS the following things -

DH was right that college is important.
DH was right that learning to drive was a necessity.
DH was right that one of the best things about college was the networking with like-minded kids.

All of this made DH feel great, which was awesome Smile

And, thus concludes the update Smile


Maxwell09's picture

Then there was DH - who got all red faced ANY TIME anyone congratulated my on getting all three of my kids out of college and successfully launched. EVERY TIME he would say "nope, you have three more" and EVERY TIME I would say, "um, nope."

This made me laugh out loud. It is something I would say to DH. As for the rest of your update: I am glad you had a better version this weekend. It sounds like your mother is the kind that likes to be doted upon and be the center of attention. Good for you for not playing in to it. It's got to be exhausting to be a grown adult and still having to deal with BM vs stepmom/dad drama when you have your own family obstacles to deal with on a weekly basis.

WalkOnBy's picture

My parents have been divorced for 32 years. My mother is a first class PASinator, Bitter Betty and Bitter, Party of One. It IS exhausting and the main reason I keep my distance. I am actually dreading the birth of my granddaughter because of how my mother will behave. It's gross, just so gross and disgusting. EVERYTHING is about her.

She also complained to DH that she was "stuck" at the other end of the dinner table away from DH and me. Well, we were the hosts, so we sat at the head of the table. My dad and SM were close to us. She was actually sitting with Thing1 to her right and Thing2 to her left and DD26 and her husband right across from her. Seriously? Ugh...

I try super hard to not play into her bullshit, but DH falls for it a lot and that puts a strain on me, too, a little bit.

Monchichi's picture

You need to go to the naughty corner and carefully think over your unacceptable behaviour for not embracing his children as your own. We are all deeply disappointed in you not having done so and sucking up all of the spewed nastiness over the years.

WalkOnBy's picture

I swear, Mon, I can NOT get him to understand the fact that they are HIS kids, but they are not MY kids.

I have a close friend who was widowed very young a few years back. I think I have written about her before. She has three kids, one in college, one in middle school and one in grade school. Her fiance has an adult son who was living at home with dad when they met. Son was 25 at the time. My friend, Marie, knew straight away that something was wrong there, and even though son is now out of the house, Marie and her fiance bought a house together and the five of them (Marie, fiance and her kids) are living there - she got it when I was complaining about DH to her via text. She texted me "oh FFS, can't he just be happy for you that you did your job, mama? Does he not realize that they came out of someone else's vagina??"

Nope, I really don't think he does. And again, it might be different if we had a different relationship. But, we don't, so it isn't.

WalkOnBy's picture

He did cheat on my mom, but she STILL needs to get over it. IT WAS 32 YEARS AGO!!

Asshat cheated on me with Money-Ka and I couldn't care less anymore.

I hope it sticks with ASS, too. The less DH has to worry about him, the better for all Smile

WalkOnBy's picture

My DH is far too polite to ever just walk away from her, even though I, too, have given him permission to walk away. He does his best to just listen, correct what ever is wrong, and move on.

It's just so stupid!!

Aniki's picture

"nope, you have three more"


WalkOnBy's picture

right??? And each time he said it, my response just got louder and more irritated Smile

Aniki's picture

Too bad he didn't get an electric shock every time he said it. And they increased a little each time. }:)

Cover1W's picture

Dang, your mother is just like my mother.
NOTHING is correct.
In fact, I'm not even communicating with her right now - or my dad because he's just blindly defending her (otherwise he'll receive her wrath). I'm disengaged from that situation.

WalkOnBy's picture

So, the drive from Thing1 University to my dad's house was about an hour and twenty minutes. We had an interesting conversation, which opened with him saying "I wish she would just get over it. I know it sounds like it's easy for me to say, but it puts you in the middle. Did she not learn anything last week by watching you handle Asshat and Money-Ka?"

My dad has NEVER said anything negative in all these years. He didn't really say anything negative that day either, though much of what he said was certainly true.

She wants to paint herself like she's totally fine with being around them - BUT she isn't.

In fact, during conversation at the bar, she learned that they will be going on a European cruise the same dates as she and her friends are. She actually said, "OMG are you guys going to be on the same cruise as me?" My dad said where they were going and when and of course, it's not the same cruise at all. My dad said, "what if we were, what would you do?" She said "cancel, of course." Really?? Okay then, idiot.

At Thing1's graduation two weeks ago, I arranged for a golf cart to pick us up from the shuttle spot and drive us to the stadium and also back to the shuttle spot from the stadium. She kept thanking my DH for "taking care of her" and he finally said "it wasn't me, it was WOB."

Guess what? At that point, the golf cart driver was rude (he wasn't), it was too windy on the cart (it was windy, but sure beat walking all that way in the wind), the driver didn't take us close enough (he literally drove us to the steps of the section we were in).

Yet, she can't seem to figure out why I distance myself from her??

Cover1W's picture

Yeah, exactly.

I mean, she even said about our wedding date once we told them, "...I don't know, I may have X or Y going on that weekend." Like we're supposed to check with her before we schedule it or re-arrage the date for her? She did that for my first wedding too. This time however, all I said was, "Well, if you can't come I hope you have a good time and we'll miss seeing you."

And then told my sister who asked what they were getting us for a wedding gift, in a huff - "We've done ENOUGH for them already!" I'm like, what exactly have they done at all? Biggrin Wink

My sister's even getting fed up at this point b/c she's decided to put a horse into training and up for sale that my sister co-owns. Without my sister's input or approval.
Par for the course really.

WalkOnBy's picture

I know, I am actually pretty irritated at DH about it. In the most literal way, those kids are not mine and just because I am married to him doesn't make them mine.


Aniki's picture

I don't even want to be seen in public with PigPen OR PrincASS for fear that someone would ASSume they were mine. :sick: