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refusing the 4th

violetforest's picture

How have the rest of you dealt with bm's refusing vistiation against the court order.

BF was told by the GAL to contact ss by cell phone to begin to gain some trust in the relationship and to take what ever time is available with ss.

Sounds okay if Bm does not interfer but of course that continues.

BF called ss attempting to get ahold of him today to say happy 4th and to see if he could visit with him during the parade today. Just him and ss. (this means that he is leaving the rest of his children alone with me again, just to spend 1/1 time with his son) Bm brought oldest ss back from visitation so that he could participate in the parade (required in the court order) and she sat with bf's parents along with youngest ss watching the parade.

BM did not return bf's request and ss did not respond to request or call bf back.

bf's parents have religious views that they believe that bf is wrong for getting a divorce even though bm is remarried and had multiple affairs on bf. They believe that they need to keep a good relationship with bm because of the boys despite the fact that they now have no relationship with bf, myself or the rest of the children. Inlaws tell me that I am sinful and that i am interferring with a godly relationship between a family.

Makes me sick and so far they continue to get away with this in court. Court will find Bm in contempt but only gives her a lecture and tells her not to do it again. If I was bm I would continue to do it again because there is never any line drawn and the court does not step in so I get to keep my youngest child all the time, collect childsupport and I can get the court to keep my child (who looks just like his dad away from his evil ugly stepmother)

Watching my hubby go through this has been horrible. every time he has to make a call attempting again to get ahold of bm or ss to see him is just crushing. I really wonder if we can make it through another 5 yrs. of this shit. (he will graduate then)

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violetforest's picture

ss in our case is 13, tells the court ordered therapist that he wants to see us and this began three years ago. ss is not a problem when he visits. He has lied about being involved in cross country. Bm claimed that ss had told bf that he was not attending but that is untrue. ss's individual therapst who refuses to meet with bf or myself claims that bf is lying about being told.

so full of shit. ss went on about how fast he was, how he had gotten 2nd place and such. Not just to bf but me, sibs, grandparents and friends of the family.

Bm has been found in contempt and ss has been ordered to be returned the court order even has a removal clause but local law enforcment state that it is against their local policy.

violetforest's picture

It would be nice to be able to stop but with ss16 living with us for the next 2 years it won't. ss13 lives with bm and she continues to produce false alligations and now she is attempting to attack my children. (thankgoodness we have not had any problem in years, the only incident was right after their father passed away 5 years ago this month. Kids could not be doing better)

Each of the last 4 times that there has been court Bm only at the last minute will ask that ss16 be removed from our home for placement with her. Other than that she could give a shit. he is just a pawn to her to keep ss13 living with her.

I'm not trying to be argumentative but I am so sick of even the legal professionals telling us that we need to just let things go because it is hard on the kids but myself and my kids keep getting attacked and we have no rights to protect ourselves because we are not a party to the action.

Parents get emotionally devistated and stressful emotions create physical illness and financial devistation. There are laws about contempt issues and the court continues to refuse to follow through. Being found in contempt over and over needs to be followed up with more than a lecture from the judge, "Just because you are the kids mommy/daddy" and the judge doesn't want to make moral decisions is bullshit.

I understand that the first time offense may be harsh followed up by a fine/jail but repeat offenders. Help the other parent and step up and follow what the law allows.

lostandalone's picture

I have no advice...only commiseration.

My late husband had two children from his first marriage.
Their mother took them back to her home state prior to filing for divorce in 1994.
(We married in 1998)
Despite numerous court orders in two states, judicial warnings levied at the bio-mother and legal fees which we could ill afford...
He died in September 2005...
After five years on the heart-transplant list...
Waiting for a call that never came.

He was never allowed, by their mother...to set eyes upon his own children ever again.

The courts did nothing but garnish his pay until the day he died.
And then advise his ex how she could get death benefits for the kids.

Now those children are both adults...and they will never know their father's version of events, only her poison.
They'll never know how he fought for them, fought to know them, begged the courts to let him see them...just once...
They'll never know that we used to send them presents, plane tickets and cards which all came back unopened.
They'll never know...