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Rewarding poor behavior

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Yesterday was SO's birthday. He planned an outing and lunch for SD14, me, DD18 and DS16. I had told him that since SD doesn't want to be near me, she definitely wouldn't want to be near my kids and perhaps limit the activity. He carried on regardless.

On Saturday she tells him that she's going back to BM's because they have something they're doing on his birthday instead. He tells her she has to come to the lunch at least. 

A thank you!

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SD has a birthday today. I am a hobby baker so I made her a cake. I figured it was my olive branch after both SO and BM had "talked" to her about being rude.

 

SO is on a deadline to show me things have improved with the child by the end of the month but I had decided that if she didn't message to thank me, I was pulling g the plug early. He complained at Christmas that she didn't thank him for her gifts until he asked her to so I considers this to be a time he could prove his ability to parent by telling her to message me.

 

Quick complaint - updated

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SO and I don't argue a lot but one of the things we have argued about is his kid not communicating what she's doing. We don't live together so on the weekends o don't have my kids, I go to his place because his kid is meant to be there every weekend. I get frustrated when she doesn't show with no communication and we've spent a weekend at his (with his mother) instead of at mine where we are alone, we haven't gone out in case she arrives, we have cooked only the meals she likes, etc. So he made the rule that she needs to tell him on Thursday night if she's not coming.

Men!

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So it's Easter weekend. Both SO and I have no kids and he has all of next week off work so we were going to be together till Tuesday. I booked my dogs into the kennel. We're having a lovely weekend at my place with the possibility of going to his (although mine is way more comfortable). 
 

Update - I think we can make it work

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I know, there will be a LOT of disbelievers but I do think this can work out!

My last (and first) blog was about whether I had a future with my partner due to his DD12. I felt he wanted to wait till she left home to progress our relationship by moving in together and I didn't want to wait that long.

We had a very frank discussion last night. It had been a tense day where I felt every time I said anything about how disillusioned I felt, he tried to change the subject and he felt I'd been pushing him away.

First time here - need advice on possibly walking away

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I have been in a relationship for 1.5 years. We live 45 minutes apart. He comes to my house one night a week and every other weekend when my kids (DD17 and DS15) are away I go to his place.

He has DD12 who is supposed to be at his place EVERY weekend but he often comes to my house on a Friday night "if DD doesn't come..." (don't get me started on how that sentence makes me feel).