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How old is too old?

Ursula's picture

To be straddling your father?  My SD is 7 (closer to 8 years old) and I've noticed she's been doing this a lot lately.  The other day my husband got home from work and jumped off the couch to straddle hug and wrap her legs around him (smacking my 3 year old in the face with her foot while doing so).  When I made a comment about how she shouldn't be doing that (jumping off the furniture) I was told that she said sorry for kicking my daughter in the face followed by some nasty looks.

Then he went and sat down on a chair and she straddled one of his legs and was hugging him and laying all over him. Am I wrong in thinking she is too old for this?  


SeeYouNever's picture

Part of being a good parent is encouraging kids to continue to be able to feel comfortable being affectionate with those they love and being able to express emotions while also teaching them what is socially appropriate.

What she did was appropriate for a 3 or 4 year old but by 7 she should be learning not to jump on furniture and be more aware of others and their personal space. 

This is so hard to talk to bioparents about, they see it as jealousy and you attacking a display of affection. But think about it, how a 2 year old displays affection by climbing all over you is more accepted than a 16 year old climbing on you right? So obviously you need to start making some changes in how affection is displayed as kids grow older or you will end up with a grown kid that makes everyone around them feel uncomfortable and ignores social cues. 


Ursula's picture

I feel like my SD is super clingy and pretty immature for her age. She calls my husband da-da in a baby voice.  It makes me cringe.  I also feel like she competes with our 3 year old for attention.  She didn't jump all over my husband until our daughter ran to him excited about him being home from work.  

I know if I try to talk to him about it it's just going to turn into a well you just don't like her.  Well honestly that is true, but I feel like things like this are why I don't like her!

Stepdrama2020's picture

I would have smacked the dirty look right off her face. JK of course. 

It becomes an insurmountable problem when you are unable to talk with your DH about the daughter. If behavior isnt corrected now you will get an obnoxious teen then a snotty entitled adult SD. Soon your 3 year old will see how the SD gets away with behavior that she is not allowed. I pity Y'all ladies who deal with this.


Ursula's picture

I would not be able to stand it if my daughter was doing this stuff.  I don't want her turning out anything like my SD has.

CLove's picture

This is the age when kissing on the lips and straddling and hanging are generally discouraged by the bio father. If this continues then get ready for some fun shows...

Thumper's picture

Your dh should correct this behavior. Age 3, 4 ok but 7?

As much as I hate to say this,,,some little girls start to blossom 8, 9?

This reminds me of a BM i am aware of who sits on the lap of her step dad. SHE is over 50 and he has to be over 75.

Ewwww, but hey thats how she rolls.



Ursula's picture

Yes!  SD is starting to get little boobs.  They're especially noticeable through some of her shirts.  

MissJulsie's picture

Who gave you the nasty look? Him or her? I would have yelled and made a big thing of her smacking your little girl in the face. 
Also, just plant the seed and remind your partner that it won't be long before that kind of affection is going to look dodgy coming from SD the older she gets .