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O/T - Well I don't think the crazy neighbor will be contacting my husband anymore

Unhappy's picture

I had one crazy night last night. If you haven't read my blog from yesterday please do so that this will make since.

DH left shortly after I got home from work to go and have drinks with the crazy neighbor ladies stbEx DH. I got my BD fed and checked my phone and saw that the neighbor lady had sent me several texts while I was at work but I hadn't noticed because my phone was on vibrate in my pruse. There were about four sent back to back about DH going out tonight ranging from I don't think I want to know where they are going to are they going to are you going with them. I responded to the last one and told her no, that I had my BD with me and was staying home. Then the texts start coming. "Come over." I was in the middle of helping BD pick out a treat so I told her she needed to wait. Then she called. Then she texts again. Finally she gets p!ssed and tells me fine, have a good night. I told her to stop and that I needed to take care of my BD first.

Rewind to Tuesday, when she found out about DH going out to have drinks with her stbEx she told me to tell her where they were going because she has a friend that will show up and find out where he is staying. (Her stbEx won't answer her calls, won't tell her where he is staying, and won't respond to her emails because she's nuts.)

So after I got BD taken care of I headed across the street. The first few minutes where okay but then she wanted to know where they were at and I told her that I was staying out of this and wasn't going to tell her. Then everything spiraled out of control. She started crying about how she doesn't care about where he's at then asked immediately where are they. I asked if she didn't care then it didn't matter. She told me doesn't care but wanted to know that he was alright. I told her that I wasn't getting involved and after what she had told me yesterday about finding out where he was staying I didn't feel comfortable. She kept yelling at me about how she just can't trust me and that I was protecting her stbEx. To which I responded yet again with no, I don't want to be a part of this. I asked her several times to quit attacking me verbally and when she wouldn't I walked away.

I thought we were done at that point but I was wrong. Here come the texts. Two hours worth. She accused me of going through her purse, called me a sh!ty mother, called me a drunk, called me a sh!ty wife, and everything she cuold think of because I wouldn't tell her where he stbEx was.

I have to admit that I finally got fed up with it and told exactly what I thought about all of her crap from assaulting her stbEx multiple times, all of her pill popping (she can't even stand withou wobbling at 9 am because of how messed up she is everyday) and I told her about her daughter (16) putting her hands on my DH inappropriately while I was at work to which she was asked to leave our home immediately. She then texts my DH asking him if it was true and he told her yes. So then she sends a text telling him that the cops should be at our house soon.

I am so over this. This lady is freaking nuts. I know that she won't get the house so she won't be living across the street for much longer. What on earth would make this lady think that I would help her stalk her stbEx. It's nuts. Both DH and I told her last night to leave us alone so hopefully she she does just that.

Comments

stormabruin's picture

"What on earth would make this lady think that I would help her stalk her stbEx. "
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I can tell you exactly why. Your DH has been all too happy to help her. He's been playing both sides of the fence.

Did you get your daughter's phone back?

RedWingsFan's picture

Ok so both of you need to BLOCK HER NUMBER! No more calls, no more texts. Do NOT allow her to your home and do NOT talk to her anymore!

bi's picture

and the cops will be at your house for what? to reprimand you for not telling her what she doesn't need to know? f'g lunatic.

Unhappy's picture

No because her daughter made a sexual advance towards my DH while I was at work. She sent it DH not me.

Great Mom but horrified Stepmom's picture

She IS a nutbar.

If you wanted to stay completely out of it you would have. You can't engage people like that at all. Aside from a brief hello you should have stayed out of it.

You brought the crazy in. Now you have to deal with it. Learn from this.

Unhappy's picture

I had no clue she was going to act like that. She went off and call my DH a liar because he didn't tell her he was going out with her stbEx. I mean she literally sat there infront of me bad mouthing my DH to me.

I knew she was unstable. I just didn't know how much. And I didn't get involved. I didn't give her the info that she wanted to stalk her husband and ended up walking away from the situation.

stormabruin's picture

She was pissed because he's been playing both sides. He's been acting as her confidant & support. He supplied her with your daughter's phone to aid her in deceiving her stbEx. Then he turned off that character to go out & play the same part for the stbEx.

The more you write here, the more apparent it seems that your DH is the unstable one. You insist he's clueless, but he's the only one who's got his nose in every side of this situation he should have no part in. He's the one who knows what's going on everywhere!

Unhappy's picture

He did make a comment to me last night when I told him to tell the stbEx that I said hi in front my daughter that I wasn't supposed to say anythin in front of BD because she's a blabber mouth (or something along those lines). I told him that I didn't know I wasn't supposed to say anything in front of her because he never told me. He responded with you should have known.

I'm not psychic. I didn't know and I thought that the crazy neighbor lady already knew that they were going out.

stormabruin's picture

"DH and her Ex are going out for drinks tonight and she asked me yesterday to find out where they are going so that she can have someone, I am assuming follow her Ex to see where he is staying. "
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You posted this yesterday so apparently the neighbor lady DID already know...at least day before yesterday...that they were going out.

The fact that he's trying to keep secrets from each of them for each of them indicates that he knows he's more involved with BOTH of them than he should be.

Unhappy's picture

I haven't been apart of it. I walked into an ambush last night and when I refused to play she got nasty.As far as the being trashed on pills at 9 am everyday, she's been like that since they moved in across the street two years ago and probably way before that.

As for their marital problems being their maritial problems I agree. I have stayed out of it. When she asked me to tell her where they were going last night she had actually asked me to call her while I was at work on Tuesday and made that request originally. I had no clue that she was going to ask me that while on the phone with her. My DH was the one that told her that they had cancelled going out on Tuesday because we didn't have any kids that night and that hardly ever happens. She just started texting me on Tuesday asking why her stbEx is calling my DH and what my DH is saying to her stbEx.

I want no part of this and have said so from the beginning. I have gotten blind sided with this drama left and right and I'm over it.

Willow2010's picture

I haven't been apart of it. I walked into an ambush last night
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I have to disagree unhappy. With everything that ā€œIā€ know about this woman, I could have told you that hanging out with her would not be a good idea. You and DH both need to stay away from them all. They sound nuts and why you both hang out with them is beyond me.

Have they been your friends for a very long time?

Unhappy's picture

We've known them for two years now. We spend the summers with the kids over at their house swimming. We go to their BBQs and to their kids parties. They help us out with our kids when we need a baby sitter or I need them dropped off at school in the mornings and we help them by taking care of the dogs when the are gone for extended periods of time during the day.

This crazy neighbor lady was the one who went into out home when we asked her because when we got married in the Carribean I didn't bring our birth certificates or DH's certified divorce papers, I emailed them to the wedding planner but apparently that wasn't good enough, and found all of the documents and them had them overnight via FedEx to our location at the resort.

So yay. I kinda thought we were friends.

Unhappy's picture

No I don't think DH is trying to gather information and giving it to the stbEx husband. I just think that he doesn't understand what staying out of it means. If he hadn't been her shoulder to cry on then she wouldn't feel betrayed that my DH was having drinks with the enemy which means that she wouldn't have known because DH wouldn't be telling her about anything which means that I wouldn't have gotten my a$$ jumped last night by the crazy unstable neighbor because she wouldn't have even known about it nor would it have mattered because she wouldn't have felt like she was being betrayed.

Willow2010's picture

Well, just to re enforce what snickers said ā€¦ distance yourself from these people. Both of you.

And I certainly would not let her watch my kids since she is hopped up on pills by 9:00am in the mornings!!

Unhappy's picture

I am planning on it. I already told DH to not respond is she texts or calls him. The last thing we need at the moment is to be drug back into all of this crazy.

The funny thing is that he just can't understand why she freaked out on me. When I called him last night after she yelled at me in her garage the first thing out of his mouth was, "what did you say to her." Then when he wanted to read the texts between the two of us he wanted to read what I sent first. I had him read the received ones first. And then my phone has issues with just deleting received or sent texts so a lot of my sent texts were missing so then he accused me of erasing the texts so that he couldn't read them. And then again this morning he was asking me exactly what happened and what set her off after I already told him last night. When I questioned him about all of this he just said that he is trying to understand why someone would freak out like that. It just makes me wonder about him. He's more concerned about her and what lead to this freak out then he is about what I had to go through last night.

I get attacked by the crazy neighbor lady and then DH comes home and starts accusing me of starting her freak out.

I really don't know what to think about everything at the moment. It DH had just stayed out of it to begin with we wouldn't even be here right now.

stormabruin's picture

"It just makes me wonder about him. He's more concerned about her and what lead to this freak out then he is about what I had to go through last night."
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THIS.IS.SPOT.ON.

ETA: His mind is not processing the situation as YOU know it. It's processing the situation as HE knows it. If he's been honest with you in all of this, there's no reason you & him should not know it to be the same.

Unhappy's picture

He thinks that I started it by saying something to her to p!ss her off. That's why he asked me when I called him what I said. That's why he wanted to read the sent texts first. That's why he accused me of earasing sent texts so that he couldn't read them. He thinks that I am the reason she lost it and flipped out on me.

Unhappy's picture

That's what I should have done but DH always has a way to make me feel like I'm out of line with what I am saying. We've been texting back and forth all day and he's already asked me if I'm PMSing because I pointed out how overly involved he was and how things wouldn't have gone down the way they did last night had he just stayed out of it.

You know one funny thing, and I pointed this out to him today, is that while the crazy neighbor lady was screaming at me in the garage she was mainly focused on DH. He lied to her, he's out with her stbEx, he can't be trusted, DH is going to give her stbEx divorce points so that her stbEx can eff her over, and on and on. What set her off is that he went out with the stbEx. Yes she was p!ssed that I wouldn't give her their location but she was mainly yelling at me about DH.

If he hadn't gotten involved this wouldn't have happened. He is refusing to admit any blame on how things have gotten to the point that they are at the moment. He denies being overly involved in everything and he won't even apologize for all of the accusations he made from last night or the way that he treated me. He has however stated that maybe giving the crazy neighbor was BD's cell phone without even talking to me first might have been wrong, but, and of course this is a big but, he only wanted them to get back together. If that's not being overly involved I don't know what is. And he still denies it and then will trun around and make a comment like that. I just don't get him.

stormabruin's picture

"I just don't get him"

I think you do get him. I think it's just hard to face.

He will twist & turn it any way he can to make this your fault. HE has behaved completely inappropriately with this woman. He had your trust & he deceived you. He had her trust & he deceived her. He had stbEx's trust & he deceived him.

It seems your DH has been dishonest with everyone involved.

He can deny it. He can manipulate stories. He can point fingers. But none of that changes the facts.

Don't let him pin this on you.

oldone's picture

It's called "gaslighting". He's turned HIS misdeeds into all being your fault.

He's really terrified that crazy lady is going to tell you something that he doesn't want you to know.

Willow2010's picture

There's something fishy to this. Sounds like her DH is playing both sides.
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YEP!! Sorry, but it actually sounds like DH is playing "with" the crazy neighbor lady. Sorry unhappy.