How much do you think is appropriate for grocery money for one month?
DH and I got into an argument. We both want to have another child but I don't think that it's going to happen due to finances. I told him that I realized this a while ago but just didn't say anything to him about because, well, I just didn't.
I don't think that we will ever get to a point that we can financially afford to have another child. DH thinks that he is great with finances and that I'm just sh!t with money. No kidding. He's actually said that to me. I actually think that we need to sit down and write out a budget. We bring X amount of dollars. We have X amount of bills. And we have X amount of money left over for groceries and paying off debts like his credit card and my last student loan.
So here's my question. How much money would you say would appropriate for groceries for one month. DH, my BD(7), and I live there 100% of the time. His BS(5) and BD(7) live with us every other week.
I go grocery shopping every two weeks and buy lunch stuff, breakfast stuff, snacks, and other household items and spend around $200.00. That's $400.00 a month for me.
According to DH's texts from earlier today he spends about $250.00 a week on dinners. That's a $1000.00 dollars a month.
So 400 + 1000 = 1400.00 dollars on food.
Is that a bit excessive for the amount of people living in the house? What would be an appropriate budget for a household this large?
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That's crazy high unless you
That's crazy high unless you are buying all organic stuff from Whole Foods. We are a family of five most of the time and have SD8 EOW and Tuesday nights and spend what are you spending.
Good luck with your DH
DH likes good food. He can't
DH likes good food. He can't just buy a pre portioned pre packages steak. It has to be from the butchers area at the grocery store and it has to have a certain amount of marbeling and it has to be like an inch and a quarter thick just to give you one example.
I've tried to explain to him that we can budget for a year, which means cutting the money he spends on dinners, so that we can get caught up but that has yet to prove to be a good idea to him. He always just answers with, "I like good food." While in my mind I'm thinking that's great. Now how are we going to afford new school clothes for three kids.
what a selfish asshole! it's
what a selfish asshole! it's not all about his stomach! i have sacrificed many times and bought cheap food to make sure a bill got paid! that's part of the responsibility of being an adult. you make sacrifices with your wants to meet your needs. i'd like to kick him!
^^^^like^^^^
^^^^like^^^^
Amen!!
Amen!!
I agree with Identity, my DH
I agree with Identity, my DH and I spend $100 a week for groceries, cleaning items, bathroom items, and animal food. We have 4 dogs and a cat, not to mention the foster animals that we occasionally take care of for the animal shelter out here.
I have us on a budget as well, my DH is awful with money and just let's me handle it. I tell him, "I could be robbing you blind and you would never know." LOL He checks in if an item he wants is $75 or more, to make sure we have money to use.
When my skids come for the summer, SD10 & SS11, I still make the same meals, just buy a little extra meat for some meals, and we still only spend about $30 more a week. Mainly because we also buy more breakfast, lunch, and snack items.
I have never spent $250 for a week of groceries, even when skids are here! Sometimes you have to cut back and budget when you want something. We are in the process of paying off debt as well, that we incurred when I was laid off and it sucks but once it's paid off, it'll be well worth it. And that's when we plan to have a child together...if I still want one by that time. LOL
Sounds like he likes
Sounds like he likes good/specialized food more than your average person, therefore he's okay with food being a way bigger part of the budget than most people's budget.
$250 a week for just dinners? Wow.
I guess it's all about priorities. If he really wanted to have another kid then he'd try to look at where things could be trimmed financially. If he won't trim, then.... what does that really say, I guess?
marty15, I agree with most of
marty15,
I agree with most of that. I do think that he wants to have another child. He just wants to wait until we are financially ready. My issue is that I'm 31 now and I don't want to wait another two to three years to slowly pay off our debts. i would like to get them paid off ASAP.
One of the things that drives me nuts is like when I mention stuff to him like the school clothes and he just says will put it on the credit card. That's just great. So will never pay that off because he can't manage to live within his means.
$250 per week period should
$250 per week period should feed everyone 3 squares a day. are you sure he's spending all that on groceries?
I just need to sit him down
I just need to sit him down and we need to draw out a household budget. If he wants to have another child than he is going to have to work on his spending plain and sipmle.
I made two batches of soup
I made two batches of soup yesterday, one was all fresh and one had canned organic tomoates with fresh ingrediants as well. I MIGHT have spent 8.00 on both and they were both great. I shared part with my parents and after one meal of each will freeze the rest for next time I need a fast meal.
Even eating the healthier whole grain products and still good quality items you guys are spending way too much on groceries. Not to mention that red meat more than as an occassional meal is bad for your body. You can buy great quality frozen fish at any decent grocery store and have a cheaper and still fancy meal.
Tonight for dinner we will have fresh green beans, brown rice and tilapia. Tilapia is frozen and the whole package is $11.00 and will feed my whole family (6 of us). My point is - he is being silly - or selfish - only you know which.
We are a family of three with
We are a family of three with three pets; I spend $150-200 every two weeks on groceries. We grow our own veggies and herbs. (Good way to save money on groceries - grow what you can and dont buy frozen/prepackaged food). We eat out together about once a month and spend about $40-$50 on the three of us. So all together, we spend, tops, $450 a month on food (including pet food, toiletries, cleaning products etc). Your DH's monthly restaurant bill could take my family of three to disney world for a nice weekend every month, just to put it into perspective a little.
Perhaps I live in a high cost
Perhaps I live in a high cost of living area, but when DH is home, I spend an average of $300 every two weeks at the market for him, DD10, and myself (I don't count the baby as she doesn't really impact the grocery bill yet). Granted, that includes chemicals, make-up, toiletries, etc., but I'm assuming that most people buy these items when grocery shopping as I do.
Our groceries are about 400 a
Our groceries are about 400 a month. Dinners out puts us up to 1K a month...But, that is teenage boys.
So he doesn't want another
So he doesn't want another child does he? Sorry but if my DH told me he was OK with spending $250 a week on dinners (+$36 and change a meal)and spent up to our c/card limit continually then we would be having a serious dicussion about moderation and having the good stuff in our old age when we deserve it.
I really don't think he wants another child. Someone so selfish would not like he competition.
He's not maxing out the
He's not maxing out the credit card. He's just not living within our means as a family. DH likes the nicer things in life. Does that make him bad guy? No. But can we afford living like that right now? No, we can't.
He needs to look at the pbig picture here. It's not that we can't live like that in the future. We just can't do it right now.
If we could even knock $200 off of the grocery bill we could have half of his credit card paid off in a year and then when we get our tax return we can pay off the remaining amount with probably a little left over to go towards my student loan which is less than 3K. If we could knock off 400 a month we would almost have his credit card paid off which would leave a large remainder of our tax return left over that would probably cover all of my student loan.
We could be debt free in less than a year. So why not try it is my question? It just doesn't make any since to me. When I paid off my credit card I fed my BD and I off of $200.00 a month until it was paid off because I was tiered of having that debt hanging over my head. I know it's completely doable. I'm just not sure if he can do it.
I've been reading online about how meals need to be planned out a week in advance and I've told him this but I always get the same, "it's to hard." answer. We can prepare meals that leave us with 2 to 3 days worth of left overs.
(Beats head on wall) Does anybody have any suggestions on how to get him on board. We just paid the credit card off around four or five months ago (6K) and now it's up over 5K again. (Some of that was from our wedding, but nothing that would have taken a year to pay off.) If we can't afford it, that's where it goes. On the credit card. We're never going to get that stupid thing paid off.
Actually it DOES make him a
Actually it DOES make him a bad person. It makes him a selfish person who does not care about the future finance security of his family.
Look, my ex liked nice things and he bought them. He paid off the c/card and then wham, put stuff back on it again bwecause he liked 'nice stuff'. HE eventually left me when he inherited his mother's estate ($1mill) in another country. I was left with nothing.
Now I am remarried and in a comfortable house in the middle of the USA (not my home country). Ex had a freehold home and money in investments and in the bank. Now he has a mortgage, married to woman who cannot work and hardly make ends meet because he lived like a King when he did not have the continual King-like income.
Take the c/card from him and put it in the bank. Rent a safe deposit box for 6 months. This is what we do from time to time. If he REALLY wants to buy something he will have to go to the bank and get the card out. And you should never put food on a c/card unless your debitcard getsx demagnitised and you are waiting on a new one.
Meals? Work out how much he spends a year on dinners. Then present him with a total for the year and tell him he could buy a brand new *whatever* or take a trip to *wherever* for the 2 of you for this amount of money.
Make it into a game. Who can cook the cheapest but tastiest meal.
the only way you can get him
the only way you can get him on board is if he takes your feeling into consideration in other areas of your life with him. do you have any influence over him or does he do what he wants? when something makes you uncomfortable (for ex relationships with other women) does he do what he can to allay your anxiety? if he does then you should be able to talk to him and come to some kind of compromise. if not, the relationship is lopsided and he will continue doing what he wants.
There's 2 adults, ss17 who is
There's 2 adults, ss17 who is 6 ft and 280 lbs, sd14 and 1 y/o twins in our house. So 6 of us, full time. We also have our friend over for dinner at least two to three times a week and we spend about 800/month on groceries, and we eat well.
I feed a family of 5 for
I feed a family of 5 for $600-700 a month and I buy specialty meats, and almost all of our produce from the local farmer's market and that amount includes two or three trips to COSTCO. $1400 a month is insane for food for a family your size. That is an additional mortgage.
$250 a week for dinners? That is ~ $36 a night for dinner alone ($12 per person!!!). That is ridiculous. I spend that much when we do fondue or raclette once or twice a year and that includes shrimp/seafood.
That seems high to me. My
That seems high to me. My household is 11 people. Only SD5 is here part time (50/50). Everyone else is full time. That's 4 adults, 2 teen boys included.
My grocery bill is about $1600 a month. That includes diapers for 2 littles, dog food, bird food, and expensive hypo allergenic baby formula. We eat meat every night and a lot of fresh fruits and veggies in Alaska where they are very expensive. Honestly, what do y'all eat that costs that much?
If you're going out to eat
If you're going out to eat all the time it's super easy to spend that much. Doesn't mean you need to.
Just depends on that your goals are really. If the goal is to eat out a bunch and have fun then that doesn't seem too big a budget.
If your goal is to pay down the card and have another kid, then you can get by on far less. For 4 people (3 full time, 2 half time = 4 I guess?) at 1400 you're spending $4 per meal. That's really not SO bad. But you could spend significantly less if you wanted to.
If you doubled your grocery bill and halved the dinners out you'd save $100 right there. And that's buying twice as many (or better) groceries.