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New Name.

unbelieveable's picture

F = Future

So, I was on this website under a different name. I only blogged once but in my blog I changed sooo many things because I was so afraid of being discovered. But, I decided that it's too hard to pretend "not" to be myself. So...here's the story of my life right now...I have a question for the stepmoms (new and old to this) that maybe ya'll can help me with. First these are the people in my BF's and I's lives that make things difficult...

BM - she's a whole year older than I am (26) but she may actually be 15 mentally...

FSD7 - she had a mouth like those kids on Nanny 911, manipulative, spoiled, Queen of temper tantrums and she had no respect - until I came along and I said, "HHEELLLL NOOO!!!"

FSD5 - She's my buddy...I think it's because she doesn't remember me "not" being around? Whines too much, and everyone baby's her way too much, did I mention she is still in pull-ups? WTF?

FMIL - bff's with BM. She seems to think "she's" the BM, acts like we're stupid and we have no clue what we're doing, shows MAJOR favortism toward SD7, wishes that FH and BM would get back together and live happily ever after, and did I mention the chainsmoking? That will play an important role in future stories ; )

The FH and I...well - we're 7 years apart. He's 32. He met a young chick...knocked her up, she wanted to keep the baby (FSD7) - the FMIL MADE HIM give her a ring - a wedding happened and so did another accident (FSD5). 1 year later they separated - and then I came along another year later while the girls were 2 and 4.

Lately, we've been having talks about family, money, etc. The problem is - we can never have a child of "our" own and expect him to contribute. He pays his kids child support and their health insurance. We used to have them 4 days a week (Right, who was paying child support?) Now we have them Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon - He has to work 5 days a week (12 hour shifts everyday) to pay that child support! BM also takes it upon herself to literally "dump" them off with us two weeks of her choice out of the summer so she can go on vacation with her boyfriend's family...I'm not complaining about having them every weekend - although it would be nice to have a whole weekend to ourselves...BM makes her mother watch them constantly (we'll get into that on a later rant I am sure). So here's my question:

The FH pays childsupport for each child, pays for their health insurance and he pays $200 a year for a special discount program on copays, etc. This doesn't include the shopping sprees we take them on just about every other week and their toys, food, whatever else they need, we get it, no complaints. We even send everything "home" with them. The thing is - tax season is coming...the BM will not allow FH to claim one of the kids because she is money hungry. We've even tried saying, "Hellooo, you have two kids - one for each parent to claim! It's only fair!"

Does this sound right? I feel like if he is paying health insurance, he should be able to claim one of them even though he pays for both. I want him to fight for this. We are living in FMIL's house for now...struggling. We want to move out and we've been saving but things are so difficult. Why does she get all of his money? We know it's not going toward the kids.

Comments

unbelieveable's picture

Thanks ; ) I can say that the FH is a GREAT dad! That is why I am so set on him claiming atleast one child! It is only fair! We have them ALOT AND we do everything for them! There are a lot of dads out there who don't want anything to do with their children, in that case BM NEEDS to claim both of them. They pay the CS and that's it, they never see their kids. The ONLY reason we don't have the kids more is simply because he has to work! AND definitely our living situation! The FMIL is crazy and I try to keep the kids out of here continuous clouds of smoke as much as I can. I have about 6 months til graduation and my new job won't leave me poor, I'll never run out of business...just right now no matter we do we can't seem to save up to get out of the FMIL's. The BM literally took everything from him when he left...the brand new car in his name, the house, his camera, EVERYTHING! Probably even some underwear! Crazy biotch. It's like he never had motivation to get out - he thought it was "all over for him." Then I came along and I'm like - "Get up off your a$$! This isn't fair that she has literally everything - yet she got fired from her hospital job because she went to work drunk! And you work 50 hours a week and you're still poor!" He really does deserve the world. I guess BM told him that if he claims a child then he won't have to pay child support for her, for the year, and she needs that money? Does claiming a child effect child support?

LizzieA's picture

My DH claims SS because he is supporting him through CS. About the only thing in his favor. In our state, it was up to the parents--split kids, year on, year off, etc. I agree, it would be fair for each to take one.

unbelieveable's picture

I've been reading onine and it seems to say, "Whoever the child lives with..." is who claims them. Shouldn't it be like which parent makes more money? I mean - yeah, they live with BM in the house she doesn't pay for! She's a bottom feeder - she meets guys and slides her way into their house and then two weeks later is like, "HEY KIDS! We're moving on in to so and so's house..." He even bought her a car...ridiculous. When do we get a break? The fair, mature, civil thing to do would be for one parent to claim one kid and let the other claim the other one. It's just down right immature not to split the children.