I'm so ashamed of myself.
Saturday was FH's niece's bday party. FSIL and I are really close so I took some food for her and helped decorate and stuff. So anyway...
A good friend (23 years old) and his new girlfriend (of 2 months) are sitting at the same table at good friend's mom and myself and FMIL. Good friend's mom is holding a baby of a guest at the party. All of a sudden - FMIL leans in toward good friend...completely ignoring his new girlfriend and starts says something like, "You should really give your mom grandbabies - look at her sitting there with that baby...you should hurry before she gets old..." She is babbling on and on and on...The new girlfriend's face is bright red - and I could tell how uncomfortable she was...so I chime in, "WOw...uh...FMIL maybe right now is not the right time? I mean - they've been dating 2months...she just started a new career...and maybe they should get to know eachother...maybe do things the old fashioned way..? I mean - some of us still believe in morals and doing things the right way...she's not a walking uterus - she has goals to accomplish first..." She snaps at me...and says, "oh Shut up and turn around - we don't want "any" out of you anyway..."
WOW...she basically - in public told everyone that I am not good enough to bare her son's child? But yet - that WHORE was? Excuse me? I have been feeding, batheing, clotheing, teaching, getting up with these kids when they are sick at night, doing their hair, and everything else for 4 years...this ungreatful bitch had the nerve to say that to me in front of all these people? I very politely excused myself from the table...I walk over to my FH where I tell him what just happened and instead of some kind of comfort - he says - why do you put yourself in these situations? Why do you listen to her?
After much thought...I am so ashamed of myself I didn't say something snarky back like, "Please woman...do you really think you are good enough to be called grandma by my child?...I don't think so..." Or - wow- you just screwed yourself woman - you won't have the pleasure of meeting my child if I decide to have one." I am also ashamed I am letting this eat at me so bad....this woman is like the scum on the bottom of the ocean...she doesn't work - she expects her kids to pay all her bills and take care of her (just like her husband has for years...) She chain smokes all day...swears constantly in front of her kids....has screwed up all 3 of her boys marriages and didn't care if they were happy as long as they were building spermclans....I guess what's bothering me the most is that I called my little brother to tell him about how crazy she is - and he said uh what did FH say? And I told him and he said wow...if my girlfriend's mother said something like this to me - and she did nothing in my defense...I'd be long gone. Maybe he's right? Maybe I just put up with way too much?
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no way in heck i'd ever
no way in heck i'd ever apologize to that old woman. From your description you were not rude-you were simply sharing an opinion on whether your friend was ready to have a baby with his brand new embarrassed girlfriend. You didnt tell her to "shut up" as she told you. She was rude and insulting. Stay the hell away from her.
I agree with HS. I think you
I agree with HS. I think you could have chosen your words better. You two both ended up embarrassing each other in public. It sounds like you guys have problems that go further back and much deeper than this isolated incident. I would apologize for your part and if she doesn't return the apology, than forget her and move on with your life, avoiding her.
You have to read my past
You have to read my past posts to understand how insane and rude this woman is. She is not one to be reasoned with - and she usually does NOT leave the house bc she has no control over anything out of her house - so she stays in there. When FH basically told me I deserved what I got bc I opened my mouth...look...I live with this woman - I was ready to snap and I did...and I was very polite. I have moved out. I am staying with my parents until my apartment is ready. I can no longer live with someone who thinks everyone owes them something because she reproduced. She's so bizarre. I even made the comment to FH that honestly my uterus is too good to house something that shares a bloodline with her..." He did not take that well - but honestly...I have expectations for myself....I support myself...I work 3 jobs and I am working on an internship to graduate from college. I do everything myself. No one owes me anything. I guess it just makes me sick someone could say something like that when I have made her son more than happy for 4 years...and I have been taking care of these children that are not mine...like they are mine. While she provides them nothing but how to be bratty and get their own way. She is molding the kids to be just like her....bottomfeeders. Since I have met FH I have put on 40 lbs. -my cholesterol and blood pressure are through the roof...I'm 26. I Cry all the time and I am always stressed out and I can tell you that 80% of it is from his family and all he comes with. What bothers me most is how strong I was - I could handle ANYTHING before I met him (which is why I thought I could handle all this...) and I let THIS woman break me down time and time again...I don't know WHY I would allow SOMEONE like HER to break me down...all I know is that when and if I can get him out of there things will change and that woman has another thing coming to her...and when the girls have bday parties - my momma bear who works for a high end company will be there in fullswing (of course this will tick off FMIL because she is jealous that people have nice things they have worked HARD for) - ready to tell this woman how her daughter is MORE than good enough to be with her son...and maybe it's her son that is NOT good enough for her? I think what sucks the most is that my parents adore FH - They are bummed that the umbilical cord still seems to be attached but they would do anything for him. They would never say anything bad about him...but yet - his mother has something to say about every female her boys bring home.
1. She shouldn't have been
1. She shouldn't have been telling your friend to hurry and have babies.
2. You shouldn't have butted in (or atleast chose your words better... you probably embarassed her)
3. Her comment to you was beyond bitchy and mean.
4. Don't feel ashamed that you didn't say anything back. You didn't need to and it would have just made the scene worse.
She will either eventually find out that she is not welcome around your child, or you won't end up having one and leave your fh for a better life... either way, you win. Don't feel like you have to tell her what's gonna happen to "get back" at her.... she'll figure it out on her own.
It's not embarrassment she
It's not embarrassment she felt...it's the whole "wow - someone just challenged me? Who dare challenge me when I am always right?" - That is what I am dealing with here. And I should not have said anything HOWEVER there comes a point when enough is enough! that poor girl was sitting there and she was acting like she wasn't...it was BIZARRE! HS - I love the group 1 and group 2 thing. It hits the nail right on the head. I just wish I was able to say something so meaannn or just be able to like shrug my shoulders and make HER feel like the scum she is. She actually gets all CRAZY when I dress up and anytime I am not in anything other than sweatpants soooo...maybe I will start dressing up everyday to make her feel crazy. hahah! Or just to set her off.