Fun Crap from YSD. This Girl is the Worst.
I swear. I'm so ready to be done.
So, we had our sit down college talk with YSD and BM. Oh joy. Some highlights:
1. For some reason, DH decided to do this at our house, around our table. While DH and I were waiting for them to arrive, we were discussing YSD and college...making some point about how aimless and lazy she's been this year...talking in the kitchen...when I hear a loud: "Hello!!!" Turns out YSD and BM just walked into our home without knocking. I was pretty PO'd about that and let DH know after they left that they have to knock...and that I'm changing the locks as soon as YSD moves out.
2. During our meeting, it comes out that YSD just expects to go to the school she wants to go to...and for us to sign off on it and pay. We asked her to look into at least 2 other schools and create a comparison for us. Of course, she hasn't done that...even though she has gotten into several other schools. We were able to have a good conversation about that, which she took well. Essentially, I told her that her flat-out refusal to explore any other options for school make us all feel that she has become fixated on this one school for the wrong reasons (aka a boy) and that we're not putting our money behind such a sloppy plan at 40K a year. I told her that I do more comparison shopping when looking for a new dress or pair of shoes than she's done for an expensive 4-year college, which shows me she's not ready. DH and BM both agreed.
3. Even though she took it well, at one point she did say: "Well everyone else I know just gets their parents to pay for their whole school and they get their parents' credit card. Where's my credit card?" She said it in a joking way...but you know there's truth behind jokes. DH responded: "I don't know. Where's mine. You're about to be a grown-up."
4. We all agreed that she will move out of her mom's with a friend we like and go to the local community college for one year, and we will revisit the college question next spring. FWIW...we are not opposed to helping with college at all...we just don't want to flush tons of money down the toilet for a kid who clearly has no plan and isn't even trying to get one.
5. So then we had her this weekend. Among the other amazing tidbits from the weekend: a.) After taking our $$$ to go to a concert with her big sister who was in town for the weekend DH asked her to do chores the next day. YSD: "Whhyyyyyy do I have to do chooorrrees?! I'm almost 18!!!" (Um. Ok. Then pay for your own stuff.) b.) "I'm going to start a band called CHILDREN OF DIVORCE so we can sing about how terrible we all have it." (Again...said half-joking...but still kind of a bitchy thing to say.) c.) I went out with my sister Sunday afternoon. When I got back, DH wanted to go out with me...and he told me this long story about getting into a big argument with YSD, who now wants to go to a big drag show out in LA next month. No idea why or how she even got into this...but the girl who needs Dadddeeeeee to pay a $10 cover charge at a local listening room and wants our credit card for an expensive college suddenly has money to go to California for a week? DH pointed this out to her and she said: "Well, now that I'm not going to the college I want to go to, I'll have lots of extra money to spend." Seriously...like the point of sitting out and going to an inexpensive community college for a year is to save up and make a plan for the following year.
Anyway. I barely interact with her anymore and never ask her to do anything...I don't want to get in the middle of any of it. Just counting down the days at this point.