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Time to call a lawyer

Twix's picture

So DH still hadn't heard from BM, so emailed her again, taking the advice other posters gave us in my last blog.

Well she finally returned an email. It was very long and hard to read, the kind of thing we steptalkers would say I can't read that block, please add paragraphs. To her benefit she only swore at him a couple times and only brought up past situations, with the added crazy BM spin, a couple times.... so not too bad.

But she pretty much told him, no SS10 will not be coming and she will not make him. She claims he only wants to spend two consecutive nights and not on school days (my first thought was yes so you can have weekends free).
She also talked about how this COs been in place for years so if he wanted to exercise his time he should have done so already. But she also said they have been doing this without the courts help so far so why change that now. She says he gets SS11 for extra time so why does DH want to make things difficult. In DHs head he's thinking yeah my extra time that your always threatening me with, so no the CO does need to be followed.

She also told him he was in contempt of court for not paying the correct years support. DH pays what is in the CO, as far as we know if she wants to change this she needs to apply for that correct? We live in Ontario and DH pays through fro, who would be all over him if it wasn't the correct amount. They are both supposed to share tax return every year but neither of them have done it.

She also claimed that the boys aren't comfortable here because I am 'always around' and they need more one on one time with DH. I really found that laughable because those boys follow me around like lost puppies. The youngest (the one being passed) usually only wants to go do things if I'm going as well .... so I think she's full of crap. Not to mention I try to stay in if DH is taking them out (as I like the break) but this usually means at least one of them will want to stay with me or beg me to come as well.
SS10 and myself ordered a dollhouse to build last time he was here and he was talking about how he was going to need to spend some extra here. The next morning BM took him for a doctors appointment and he hasn't been back since ... to me that's saying something.

I don't know anymore, after we read the email I just looked at DH and said time to call your lawyer .... unfortunately he can't get in till the end of the month.


Twix's picture

Oh and whenever DH has asked SS10 about why he doesn't want to come he says it's because he fights too much with SS11 (so sorry that we own our small home as we don't live off of child support from 3 different dads and the government, enabling us to rent a big house on the richest street in town) so yah things feel cramped at times and the boys share a bedroom.

Aniki's picture

Tell SS11 to stop fighting with SS10!! WTH?

IMO, if your DH wants to take the boys somewhere and you are NOT going, both still need to go with him. Staying home with you should not be an option. No offense intended, but they are there to spend time with their dad.

These BMs who think they can dictate THEIR idea of the court ruling are full of sh!t.

Twix's picture

They really don't fight that much ..... I honesty think it has more to do with lifestyle and BM. For example, at her place they can have a bag of popcorn for breakfast, so we have some serious food issues with the kid. We don't force him to eat certain things but he's allowed what's served and that's it, no making two meals etc. Also SS10 not coming began after the situation where BM called me a bitch on my porch, I don't think it's a coincidence. Ugh so who knows.

DH makes them go with him about 98% of the time, mainly because he knows I need the time alone. If BS2 is staying home with me I really don't mind because then they get some good one on one play time with him.

DaizyDuke's picture

She also claimed that the boys aren't comfortable here because I am 'always around'

What a tool. You are the wife and stepmother and home owner. Of course you're going to be "around" Does she have a boyfriend, husband, village idiot living with her?? Is he always "around"? Tell her if she wants to pay for a room for you, you'd be happy to flit off to a hotel on days that skids will be there!

Twix's picture

She'll move a guy in for a couple months, have his baby then kick him out because he didn't like on the kids, or he was mean to mom or he kissed another girl (all stuff the skids openly shared)

But I love the idea of a nice holiday in hotel room when the skids are there lol

lieutenant_dad's picture

I love it when these BMs put in writing that they are currently, and will continue, to violate the CO. That is courtroom gold right there.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

"She also claimed that the boys aren't comfortable here because I am 'always around' and they need more one on one time with DH. I really found that laughable because those boys follow me around like lost puppies."

Willing to bet that's jealousy... She probably hears about you and it makes her mad... Because how dare her kids decide they like a decen thuman being who cares about them! But kudos to you! Means the boys love you!

Goodluck's picture

I encourage you and dh some time to review Dr. Craig Childress videos. You can find them on you tube.

In the search thing on youtube--just type Dr. Craig Childress

PLEASE please tell your husband that kids DO not reject their parent. Do kids have events that may interfere with a visit...sure they do.

But again PLEASE know they don't reject a parent. That's what pathogenic parenting is all about.

**not all things are "pathogenic parenting" but that rejection part is.

Remember what your hearing the boy said, is from BM's mouth OR email/text. Most of us have heard the very same thing at one time or another from a bm.

By the way, That is on page 5 of "How to keep your kids from your ex AND get more child support to boot" BOOK.

I would tell her to have the kids ready at the court ordered time and dh will pick them up. OR what ever your court order outlines.

IF she refuses dh will 1. file contempt charges Monday and 2. Also request a welfare check on the kids.
(3) for you only---check your ordinances for custody interference and have dad insist police site her.

**give the lawyer a call and put them on notice** Contempt NOW, not later after years go by of the same shit.