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Don't know what to do...I hate my stepson.

tsp_pa's picture

I finally feel like I'm not alone. I can relate to so many comments and blog entries. I have a teenage stepson who has lived with my husband and I for the last seven years. Like many, at first I tried very hard to be a good mom to him, but got no where. I would help with homework, fix meals...all the traditional family things. At first it wasn't too bad, minor behavior problems in school mostly. Now that he is a teenager things have gotten worse. He is stealing things from the house. He has taken jewelry, my husband's sports memorabilia, and the thing that bothers me the most is he has taken my underwear. I don't trust him to be in the house by himself. He takes food to his room and puts the wrappers and trash under his matress. I end up cleaning up the mess all the time. I know cleaning up after kids is part of being a parent, but I feel he is old enough to respect some rules. I can't watch him all the time; my husband and I have two young children of our own. I thought that after my stepson failed the 8th grade last year my husband would have him go live with his mother, but I'm not that lucky. I just don't know what to do. I have tried ignoring my step son, but I can't let him distroy the house and steal all my things. I try to keep my children away from him because I feel like they will grow up to be disrespectful and lazy also. I have tried talking to my husband about how I feel and have gotten no where. I usually end up doing things on the weekends by myself with my kids just to get away from my stepson. I feel like a horrible person for hating my stepson, but some of the things he has done I can not over look. I wish my husband would support me more and try to understand how I feel. I know he is his son, but my husband does not spend time with him. My husband works full time and is taking college classes. I don't understand why my husband will not have him go live with his mother. I don't know if I can take this for 4 1/2 more years.


UsedUp's picture

I would tell your hubby the next time your stuff walks off you will be calling the police. You shouldn't have to live in a house where your things are just taking off and him not do something about it. Kid of divorce or not you can't allow that to happen, period. It will only end up costing you a lot more as he progresses to larger things. At least have the cops scare the shit out of him and let him know you won't stand for it. Or if you don't want the cops involved which I can understand you could always go swipe his stuff and see what he thinks about that! My daughter bit a kid in kindergarden and when she got home the wife gave her a hard horse pinch bite to the back of her arm and asked how she was liking it. Never had that problem again.

I am beginning to wonder if reading all this is as therapeutic as I thought now. I feel for the step parents but the damn bio parents actions or lack thereof piss me off to no end.

Don't lay down now or you will be walked over, sounds like you are already though.

tsp_pa's picture

Thank you for the comments. I have been locking my bedroom door now. I lock it even when we are at home, because he took things even when everyone was in the house. I would be playing downstairs with my kids and he would go through the house. It is such an inconevience, but it should work. I would like to lock him in his room but I know that is not right.

For a period of time I took his matress away and made him sleep on the floor. When I gave it back, he did the same thing again. He doesn't have much in his room right now. I thought that was the problem, that he was giving us problems because he doesn't have anything. So I bought him a cell phone and told him first time he takes something or gets in trouble at school the phone will be taken away. The phone lasted a week.

He just doesn't care about anything. He has no motivation and I did try to help him a first, but if he is not going to put forth an effort then why should I. I just don't have the energy to try anymore. He talks to my brother's kids at school and they say he says he doesn't do his work in school or homework because he doesn't want to.