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Trying to Stepmom's picture

This is the first I’ve blogged about this, but SD has lice again. She found one late Saturday night. I then found some nits on DD Sunday (a fear I’ve had since she was born). I’ve had luck getting them off DD and vacuumed the house like a fiend. Today (Wednesday) was the first time we had SD since Sunday afternoon. I’d been saying to DH for days that she needs to be checked the next time she comes. He would mention it to her and say things like “I can check you if you want.” If you want?!? Oh hell no! She’s getting checked whether she likes it or not. I think BM (And SD) believe that they can just use the shampoo and spray the spray on their furniture and be done with it. Now I’m no expert and this is the first time I’ve had to really deal with it but I Googled like it was my job, finding out what I can about lice and getting rid of them. 

When we got home this evening, DH told SD he was checking. This was the following exchange:

SD:  “This is gay.”

Me:  “That’s not appropriate.”

SD:  “This isn’t appropriate.”

DH:  “Shut.up”

I was in the other room by the time her father chimed in and I just about died! “Shut up” isn’t something we usually say and I’ve maybe heard him use it one other time when he was just fed up with what she was saying. 

DH brushed through her hair and found some. He then suggested I go through it too. I was more than happy to help, mainly because DH’s sight when looking at things up close is not the best. SD was fine with me going over her hair. And this is where things change. 

We actually talked! We actually joked! We asked each other questions! We sounded like normal people with a good relationship! We’ve talked like this before, lately when it’s just the two of us in the car, which isn’t very often. DH even heard us while he was playing with DD and mentioned how nice it was. 

Both DH and I think that SD realized that getting checked isn’t so bad. DH even suggested that I blow dry and straighten her hair tomorrow before she goes to her dentist appointment. (DH suggested it to SD, but it was basically my idea and I’m happy to do it.)

So what started off as a slightly tense situation turned into a good, relaxed evening. Biggrin


fourbrats's picture

lice removal method (mom of four, raised five, four girls with long hair lol). In case you need it in the future.....

The OTC lice removal stuff is generally crap because the damn bugs have adapted to it so there is that. 

Vaseline....lots of Vaseline. Apply liberally to the hair and let it sit...and sit...and sit.....then comb the hair. comb and comb and comb. Wash with Dawn dish soap, the unscented normal kind because it cuts the grease. and wash and wash. condition and comb again. End with an Apple Cider Vinegar rinse.  Repeat as needed. 

For the non-washables. Spray it down with stinky old Lysol. The concentrate in a spray bottle with the appropriate amount of water and then vacuum what you can. What you can't...tie in a bag. Just throw out the pillows unless they are special. Get new ones. New pillows are awesome. Wash what you can in hot water and dry. Clean out your vacuum fully. Leave everything in the bag for a week. 

Tea tree oil in the regular shampoo and conditioner and tie their hair up for school and going out. 

And it's good that she connected with you :). And takes your advice and help. It sounds like it turned a terrible situation into something more palatable. 

justmakingthebest's picture

I am glad the moment of stress actually turned out positive! It says a lot about you and being able to shrug off the attitude and move forward! 

On the lice topic... My daughter got them at a sleep over last summer (It is the only place we can think). She had them pretty badly, I didn't even notice! I felt horrible when her step mom took her to the salon and they found them (At least SM missed it too! LOL)! We thought we got them all from both houses but nope... we had round 2. Round 2- Me, SM, DS and ExH/SM's son all had it! FINALLY got them all that time. However, since that happened, I have never been so paranoid about anything in my life! I make DH check my head anytime I feel even the slightest thing in my hair. Seriously... the wind blows and creates a tickle... DH!!! CHECK MY HAIR!!! I just can't... *bad*

fakemommy's picture

I've had some of the biggest bonding moments with my skids at 1am picking lice from their hair.

My advice, coconut oil- drench hair, leave over night in a shower cap. This stains so put a towel over the pillow case. Wash everything in hot water and dry or bag up. We bag for a month. Vacuum cars, couches, put borax where ever you can (carpets, on couches, ect.) for at least 15 min then vacuum. Repeat the coconut oil a few times a week. Put tea tree oil in hair and shampoo and conditioner, and I straightened or curled their hair every day for at least a week (the heat kills the eggs). Every time skids returned from BM's, we did the coconut again for months (and sometimes in between so it wasn't just after BM's house), because she refused to check for it or treat for it. We found it in their hair the day they came back from BM's house. We tried the apple cider vinegar, but it hurt where they had bites.

We also have spray that we use in their hair every morning to prevent lice.

Goodluck's picture


I am so sorry your dealing with this again OP.


Trying to Stepmom's picture

Thanks, we’re getting through it. 

I just hate that this might keep occurring if BM doesn’t so anything on her end. And I don’t know that SD would take the initiative at her mom’s house to make sure things get cleaned. BM is not very open to change and will probably just hand SD the lice shampoo and furniture spray. 

notarelative's picture

My friend swears by Listerine (the original one) to kill Iive lice. She saturates the hair with Listerine, wraps the head in a towel for an hour, then rinses thoroughly. She says the Listerine opens the spiracles, and when you rinse with water, the live lice drown and fall off.

She listerines the live lice, then deals with the nits. Hello nit comb.

Trying to Stepmom's picture

I’ve read about Listerine and Apple cider vinegar but my SD has eczema and those might make her scalp burn. 

We have a nit comb and it’s wonderful! SD’s hair is soooo thick and it took awhile, but we made progress. 

I didn’t get a chance to use the blow dryer and straightener on her hair (like in OP), since she woke up too late and her mom was picking her up. We’re definitely checking her again today since she went back to BM’s yesterday after her dentist appointment because BM “forgot” she was supposed to take her to her aunt’s house so DH could pick her up after camp. The lie is on BM because her aunt didn’t know about any of this when DH showed up at her house to pick up SD. Aunt said she hadn’t heard anything from BM. Oh geez...