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“Ex-Stepmom” - this gave me a chuckle (and an eyeroll)

Trying to Stepmom's picture

In the car today, SD14 was on the phone with someone (maybe BM or maybe a friend). I hear her say with a laugh "Ex-Stepdad, that's a funny thing to say." Who knows what she was talking about, but then I hear her say "so it's like ex1 and ex2 are my Ex-Stepmoms! Hahaha!"

Ex1 and 2 she is referring to are my DH's exes, before SD's mom (yeah, I know, my DH has been married a lot). SD clearly doesn't understand how this stepmom thing works. 

After we dropped SD off I mentioned it to DH in a "can you believe it" kind of way and he actually got a little perturbed. Not at me, at the fact that SD was talking about ex1 and 2. He said that she must have been talking to her mother and that if she ever brought it up around him that he'd say something. How many times have I heard that before? I'm coming to the conclusion that I'm overly observant and DH can be quite oblivious.

Dash 1



strugglingSM's picture

My DH is totally oblivious, too. 

In 2019, he was finally able to get an agreement with BM that they alternate Christmas. 

He told both MIL and BIL what the new agreement was and asked them not to get involved if BM contacted them to undermine it. 

Despite agreeing to those terms - in exchange for more money - BM pitches a fit and says she'll never go along with it.

About a month later, BM emails DH and says that she is making arrangements with MIL so SSs can spend Christmas Day with DH's family, like they always do. This is so she can demand this year that SSs spend Christmas Eve with her. DH contacts, MIL and asks if she had reached out to BM. MIL, of course, denies it, so we think the whole issue is over.

Several months later, MIL invites herself to our house. As we are all sitting there, one SS says to MIL, "am I coming to your house on Christmas?" MIL replies, "yes". I give DH a look of death...that he misses. I later say to him, "did you hear your mother making plans with your child for Christmas Day?" He says, "no" and then again calls MIL, who again denies it saying she just didn't want to cause drama. 

Long story short, MIL had been making plans with BM and MIL accused DH of not caring enough about his children when he called her out. 

Despite all this, DH still tells MIL things that she rushes off to tell BM and also doesn't pay attention when MIL is talking to SSs and making plans that undermine DH right in front of his nose.