Question-Child Support-Honest opinions please!
I've wondered for a long time if what we pay a month for child support is a fair number. I don't think I can look at it objectively and I don't know what others pay in the same situation so I was hoping I could get an answer here.
The background info is as follows: I have two step daughters, 11 and 13, who we have 50% joint custody of. They are with us 15 to 16 days out of every month, depending on the month, My husband is in sales so his income varies from year to year but last year he made 55 grand (I don't think I need to disclose what I made because in my state a step parents income isn't taken into account when coming up with a CS number) and his child support amount is based on 43 grand a year because that's what he was making when we went back to court to get the CS modified(before it was $877/month I don't need opinions on that I know that's an unfair number!) He pays $622 a month with a court order that says the BM has to pay him $63 dollars a month for medical insurance reimbursment(even though a few months ago we told her she only had to pay $45 because DH got a new job with inexpensive health insurance) so technically his support is $559/month, and he is required to pay 70% of medical insurance and expenses, and 50% of all extra curriculars, and they are in our home half the month.
Now my question is does anyone who has experience with CS issues think that this is a fair arrangement?
The BM works for a school where she makes less than 15,000 a year, which is completely her choice, she is fully capable of getting a higher paying job, she does it so she has the same schedule as the kids(and I'm not knocking the fact that she chose a job like that-we actually both work the same position at the same school district, but in different schools. I also work that job so I can have the same schedule as the kids.)
...but is that number a justifiable number? Does she really need $577 to house the children for 15 days? (she also recieves food stamps so she is all ready getting assistance for groceries)
I have no problems with paying CS so the kids are taken care of as long as it's fair, and I don't know and don't care how she spends the money as long as the kids are provided for, which as far as we can tell they are.
....The money stuff is really the only thing that ever bothers me about my situation. I get along great with my SD's and my DH and I are usually on the same page, I don't particulary care for the BM and she doesn't care for me either, which is the norm so I'm not bothered by that either, but sometimes the bitterness creeps up when I think about what we pay for the kids- because if they lived with us full time I don't think we'd spend $577 on the both of them over the course of 15 days-we don't spend that on them now while they're here!
So please give me your honest opinion- I want to know! Is it fair and I should be thankful it's that low or is that a high number for 2 kids for 15 days considering the incomes?????
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Comments
Not Fair at all!
i dont understand why you should pay a cent! if you have them equally, then they each should be responsible for the time they have them. I think its absolutely ridiculous that the dads should pay when they have the kids just has much! you shouldn't be held accountable for the lower income of bm, and if she cant make more then you should have majority custody.
i know im living in fantasy land, but i just dont think its fair that any parent should pay a cent to the other if they have them equal time!
oh
and to add, the bm of my ss gets state asst as well and we get none, yet we pay half the day care (the state pays her half) and then an additional 25 dollars a month, i think they both made very little when they split.
he sends 294 a month in cs, which supposedly is supposed to be for what i listed above, but we dont know if the state actually pays all of daycare and our check goes directly in her pocket. i have convinced myself the state only pays half so i dont get mad
but.... now after hearing what you guys pay, her threats of going back to court i will take them more seriously! however, as i told fh, if she goes to court for more money...i will quit my job, parts of his income will disappear, and i will start popping out kids, and she will get as little as possible!
I agree with that
but CS is set up so that the kids will still be given the same standard of living even though the parents are divorced. And the state I live in always favors the BM's, which I find ridiculous.
....I also don't think we should be penalized for her making less money than she is capable of making.
Grrrrrrrrr.....how many more days till the youngest turns 18???
therefore
if the standard of living is better at the fathers house he should be given the option of having them the majority of the time or paying cs!
i think that if the bm truly had a case where she could not work and afford things and needed help from the father, thats one thing because father should help with child he brought in to the world, but it seems that in both of our cases, its a choice, and our households are the ones that lose out!
ugh, so frustrating!
I have a BM and a SM perspective on this.
Bear with me here, I do have a point.
As a BM I think the number is fair. My x pays 400 a month for CS. Of course, he only sees him once a year for a week or so, I'm not in the same boat as you there. I do think that the child has to be provided for by the same standerds they were before the divorce. I honestly believe that is fair to the child.
As a SM, we pay 1200 a month for both SD's. One is in college, and one goes to a school that demands uniforms. I don't want them to have less because DH isn't there anymore. We agreed to a unusual high amount, I know this. We put it all on paper though, and without the court telling us how much to pay, me, DH, and BM came to a understanding. Of course it's in BM's favor. If it wasn't she wouldn't have agreed to it.
**and he makes about the same as your DH.
I'm not saying you are wrong, so please don't take it that way. I'm only telling you what we do in our lives. I think that is what you were wanting to know from everyone. So I hope that I've been helpful to you. I also understand that not every situation is the same as mine.......I realize that you keep the kids 15-16 days per month. We don't with my SD. We have her EOW and every Wednesday.
(((((hugs)))))
~Happiness is defined by the smile on your face, not the frown on others.~
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I've been to Alllaw
and came up with those same calculations but they aren't accurate because of the custody situation. Every three years you can request a review and if it would affect the CS 20% or more either way than they would modify it, all though we are very discreet about how much money, we live conservatively so I don't think BM thinks he makes anymore now than he did then-it will be three years this june- and yes they consider BM's job full time-not sure how that is since it's 35 hours a week, 8 months out of the year???
....and supporting the kids isn't the issue, I want them to have everything they need, I just don't like the fact that because that's the number we pay we don't have as much disposable income for the fun stuff that we would like to do with them, I want to support them in my home and feel that for some reason the court thinks that it's my DH's responsibility to help her support the kids half the time even though she's capable of making more money-and if she did we would be able to do more for them while they are in our home.
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It sounds like his is high
It sounds like his is high because her income is so low. If that income is the norm for what she's always made, they will calculate it off that. If she had a good job then all the sudden quit & took a low paying one, they would likely base it off her "potential" income. CS never sounds fair to me in most cases, but based on her income, it sounds right. I'm surprised she can support herself & those kids on what she's bringing home plus cs, honestly!
"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"
I know
I don't know how she affords to live with what she makes? but the kids are taken care of and that's all I care about.
She was a stay at home mom for seven years before they divorced and before that she worked as a secretary where she made about 20K a year, but she's had this same job since they got divorced.
....and at tax time he claims one and she claims the other, In my opinion, whoever pays the support, as long as they have some type of visitation or custody, should be able to claim the children they support-all though that's an agreement they came to not a court ordered thing.
I think its fair that they
I think its fair that they each claim one, they both have them 50%. But yeah, $1500/month...no way...I SPEND $1500/mo on God knows what! No way could I support myself AND kids on that. I could barely do it at 18 when I had 2 roommates! Maybe she's found a way to get free rent
"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"
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My Fh pays a lot
Over $1K a months for 1 kid and that is not even including all the extras. What kills me is that they live in a crappy little town where the cost of living is practically nothing and I do not think it takes that much a month for 1 kid. But because my FH his a high income he gets screwed. Everytime i think about it makes me want to puke.
I think the child should have equitable access to the combined
income of the BioParents.
If your situation is truly 50/50 custody then there should be no CS. Half time in Mom's home and half time in Dad's equalizes the support each person pays.
However in situations with a CP and an NCP with visitation less than 50% the NCP should pay CS at a level determined by most states standard CS model which includes a percentage of both parents income and parenting time calculation.
In my SS's case my wife earns significantly more than BioDad but also has my SS 316 days a year. Because of her higher income she is ~65% responsible for SS's support. With the income percentage and parenting time included in the calculation and BioDad's credit for his younger three out-of-wedlock spawn, BioDad (the NCP) is liable for ~$385/mo in CS.
As far a a max amount in CS? I don't think there should be one. A child should have equitable access to the BioParent income and should benefit from a lifestyle commiserate with parental income. It costs more to raise a child in a high end community, school district, etc.... so the cost of raising a child is not consistent from family to family.
That said, I do not believe that a lower income NCP should be expected to have CS increased because a CP is capable of providing an elevated life style for the child. And vise versa. A high income NCP should not have to pay an elevated amount of CS if a CP chooses to live in a lower socio economic community with the intent of using the excessive CS for their own benefit rather than the benefit of the kid(s).
And, NO WAY IN HEAVEN OR HELL SHOULD A SPARENT'S INCOME BE CONSIDERED OR IN ANY WAY LEVERAGED BY THE COURTS. SPARENT FINANCIAL PARTICIPATION IS ENTIRELY DISCRETIONARY ON THE PART OF THE SPARENT!
IMHO.
SPARENT, LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I agree 100%. My DH and I raise my son 365 days a year, when the sparent see's him at whim. Then I go to take him back to court to increase the CS, which I haven't done since the divorce, 12 years later, and he decides him and his GF are now pregnant. Wow, funny how that happened. I knew it was BS right off the bat. A little to concidental if you ask me. A few weeks later it came out that he was lying, what a HUGE surprise that was.
I agree with everything you said above. If it is 50/50 then no CS should be required. But, if it's a case like mine and DH's, or yours and your DW's, they should be held accountable.
~Happiness is defined by the smile on your face, not the frown on others.~
It's 50/50
The custody is 50/50, we have them half of the time, but in the divorce papers, even though they have joint physical and legal custody she is named as the custodial parent, my husband was not smart during the original divorce proceedings and let her handle all of it so he got screwed, that's why we had to spend thousands of dollars to get the support lowered, and we live in a small midwestern town where the price of living is relatively cheap.
...and to melis' comment-she pays 700 a month for rent-so it's always baffled me to. How in the world do you live like you do making that kind of money? The girls always have cute name brand clothes and so does she so it's not like she's skimping there, I guess maybe she uses credit cards, which at some point will come back to bite in the ass.
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