I think it sucks either way. 

No, I went into stepland with a bio. Logically you would think it would make it easier but not in my case. I do think the entire "easiness" of it mainly depends on how your partner parents their children though. If there is little parenting going on its very hard to like a child that you're seeing get spoilt left right and centre and getting away with bad behaviour without any repercussions. Nobody could get on board with that.

I met my SDs when they were aged 5 and 7 - at the time, my own daughters were aged 19 and 17 - I thought "how hard can it be?" I had already raised two girls successfully.  Little did I know................to me, having had kids of your own doesn't help you in a step situation, except maybe being more resentful when you see the bio parents making an almighty mess of parenting. 

Not easier. My bio kids are older so I had already raised the perfect children. Handsome, smart, successful, sweet boys. Then I was handed these feral spawn.

I wish the feral spawn couls be half as successful as my kids but they never will be. DH ignores their problems and has ruined any chance of them being successful adults

Nope. I had a bio the same age as SD. And then when I had my next child I had the same experience as alot of posters having their first baby with being more resentful and less tolerant of SD (not that I liked her to start with). I actually think having bios makes it harder because there is such a stark comparison between how I feel about her vs my own.

I've done the whole raise a child I'd not given birth to thing (but he was still family).  I think the experience made dealing with SSs worse.    

OSS is a mess.  His personality isn't going to get him far in life or make him any friends but BMs ability to somehow infantilize him and turn him into her sonsband at the same time has just... he's going to struggle his entire life.  We haven't bonded and honestly I don't think we ever will.  

YSS has a chance.  He is polar opposite and has resisted I'd say probably 95% of BMs antics.  We don't have what I would call a close or a strong bond but we are both good with where we are.

Regardless of your parenting experience or prowess I think skids are a challenge in the best of circumstances.  When you're dealing with less than ideal, be that a certifiable BM, an ostrich DH or vice versa, the entire situation becomes a struggle.  Having a positive parenting experience in comparison just amplifies that, I think.

No shame in not your kids turning out not as you'd like.  

I still dread the arrival of SS. He is now 18 and I moved in with DH when he was a year/2 years. I have 2 bio kids of my own and I still hate SS. 

The only reason skidlife is tolerable to me is my kids were grown and never had to live in stephell. I never would have subjected my kids to this life and I certainly wont bring any more in to rhe world. Id be mortified if I had a child raised here. If I had a child with DH it would grow up like the skids from watching & learning from their bad behavior. Skids live here 90%

I adore kids -- I really do. All ages. I also have bios. I'm a long-time coach and teacher, but my SDs' behavior for the past 25 years has made me hate them. I used to dread their arrival. Blessings to you.