it's been difficult being a stepmom. I have 3 kids of my own with 2 stepchildren in addition. the younger one is the problem. at first, we got along great. I really liked her. she's 7 now and a bit a of the problem child. she constantly fights with my daughter and hits her when no one is looking, very sneaky. she has changed so much and I feel very guilty about not liking her. I dread the weekends we have her! very much! I try to be conscious of this feeling but I'm having a hard time flipping the switch. I hate the way she treats my kids when she is here and how manipulative she is. I know she's young and it may be a phase, but i guess my problem is on how to deal with this..In all honesty, I love my husband, he's a wonderful man, but I've been wanting to bolt from this. I know I can't but it's how I feel. He tries to make things work, he really does, but I am the problem in this, I feel I only have enough emotionally for my own children.I have a lot of resentment inside right now...I need to change my attitude...at least for the sake of my husband and my children. Any advice?
Im right there with you..except my ss is almost 11 although he acts like hes 2. Your definitely not alone in this. Trying to flip the switch is so hard, especially when you dread the weekend visit. My DH sometimes tries but is a part of the problem because he feels guilty...get over it, its been 6 years. Have you talked to your DH about your feelings? Good luck hun!
oh man, we talk and talk....i feel like a recording sometimes, lol! I don't exactly say that i don't like her, but he knows we have our issues. I have talking to her and explaining the rules of the house, saying we're a team..all positive stuff, but she just continues. she pushed my daughter to the floor the other day. we had made a pact that we CAN NOT leave the kids alone, in fear it'll turn ugly but somehow, at that moment, we did and that's what happened. I was so pissed and she knew it. It's hard to just let it go and say "oh that's what siblings do". That's what I'll say when it's MY kids and I will discipline how I see fit. But she is NOT my kid and it's like if any other kid would hit my kid, i'd be pissed.
Yeah I appreciate your advice. All what you have said is right. But you know, he is guilty, he feels guilty that he doesn't see them as often as he can. He has such a demanding job, takes a lot of time. he used to take her every weekend and we have minimized it because i was soooo tired of all the fighting going on when she's here. it was not that easy at first to make him see my side but he eventually did..this is what i'm saying, he's trying to make changes, to make me happier and i just can't seem to budge on my feelings for her.
yeah, every time i start feeling pissed and miserable, and when i do vent, i feel better for that moment.. i guess this is where i'll come. this is much cheaper than thrapy!lol
I'm still working on getting where you're at but i guess it can't happen overnight. my husband JUST pissed me off. all he did was ask me a question about this weekend with the kids, and i looked at him like i could kill him. He just doesn't know exactly why i am so pissed off. but i'm so tired of talking and talking...same things over again, with no resolution. i'm exhausted and Im hating myself when i'm around him. just anger and resentment.
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it's been difficult being a
it's been difficult being a stepmom. I have 3 kids of my own with 2 stepchildren in addition. the younger one is the problem. at first, we got along great. I really liked her. she's 7 now and a bit a of the problem child. she constantly fights with my daughter and hits her when no one is looking, very sneaky. she has changed so much and I feel very guilty about not liking her. I dread the weekends we have her! very much! I try to be conscious of this feeling but I'm having a hard time flipping the switch. I hate the way she treats my kids when she is here and how manipulative she is. I know she's young and it may be a phase, but i guess my problem is on how to deal with this..In all honesty, I love my husband, he's a wonderful man, but I've been wanting to bolt from this. I know I can't but it's how I feel. He tries to make things work, he really does, but I am the problem in this, I feel I only have enough emotionally for my own children.I have a lot of resentment inside right now...I need to change my attitude...at least for the sake of my husband and my children. Any advice?
Im right there with
Im right there with you..except my ss is almost 11 although he acts like hes 2. Your definitely not alone in this. Trying to flip the switch is so hard, especially when you dread the weekend visit. My DH sometimes tries but is a part of the problem because he feels guilty...get over it, its been 6 years. Have you talked to your DH about your feelings? Good luck hun!
oh man, we talk and talk....i
oh man, we talk and talk....i feel like a recording sometimes, lol! I don't exactly say that i don't like her, but he knows we have our issues. I have talking to her and explaining the rules of the house, saying we're a team..all positive stuff, but she just continues. she pushed my daughter to the floor the other day. we had made a pact that we CAN NOT leave the kids alone, in fear it'll turn ugly but somehow, at that moment, we did and that's what happened. I was so pissed and she knew it. It's hard to just let it go and say "oh that's what siblings do". That's what I'll say when it's MY kids and I will discipline how I see fit. But she is NOT my kid and it's like if any other kid would hit my kid, i'd be pissed.
Yeah I appreciate your
Yeah I appreciate your advice. All what you have said is right. But you know, he is guilty, he feels guilty that he doesn't see them as often as he can. He has such a demanding job, takes a lot of time. he used to take her every weekend and we have minimized it because i was soooo tired of all the fighting going on when she's here. it was not that easy at first to make him see my side but he eventually did..this is what i'm saying, he's trying to make changes, to make me happier and i just can't seem to budge on my feelings for her.
yeah, every time i start
yeah, every time i start feeling pissed and miserable, and when i do vent, i feel better for that moment.. i guess this is where i'll come. this is much cheaper than thrapy!lol
I'm still working on getting
I'm still working on getting where you're at but i guess it can't happen overnight. my husband JUST pissed me off. all he did was ask me a question about this weekend with the kids, and i looked at him like i could kill him. He just doesn't know exactly why i am so pissed off. but i'm so tired of talking and talking...same things over again, with no resolution. i'm exhausted and Im hating myself when i'm around him. just anger and resentment.