T minus 14 months to launch
SS19 came over last night, with 2 friends, for a BBQ at our house - last cook-out of the season, most likely. It's nice that he's bringing his friends by - they are all friends from the alternative high school program he attended but they are nice kids, and they are all either working or going to community college, or both. SS and his friend helped us move some furniture that I couldn't help DH with, which was nice. SS is a nice kid as far as surface impressions go.
He was wearing an oversized pair of pajama pants, which nearly gave DH a heart attack (he won't leave the house in even sweatpants); this is symbolic of his current life. His other friend (a female friend who now lives with SS and his mother - no, it's not his girlfriend) says, "All SS does is sleep and play video games".
DH asked if he had his driver's license. He said no. He had told DH before that he had someone who was going to be his instructor but that fell through. I asked if he could call Local Driving School and he said yes, he could. Left it at that. SS has 4 parent-type people who could help him learn to drive (us, BM and her BF) and one of the friends sitting at the table is 21 and drove him to our house, so he could help him. Nope, still doesn't have a license.
He's been telling DH about a (in my opinion) far-fetched plan to get a job in Canada that of course, he needs a driver's license for. In the meanwhile, he is truly just sleeping, eating and gaming. I can't begin to imagine how this is OK with BM, but yet, it is. He could have gone to another year of college, but he didn't want to, and god forbid BM make him do something he doesn't want to do.
For those not aware, my SS has 14 months to find a way to stay in this country or leave to Canada, where he has not lived since he was an infant. We have offered to help him, he has not made any effort to come up with some of the money that would be needed and DH won't pay for 100% of it. BM can't help him stay here as far as we know. We do know she took him up to where his brother lives so he could check out this job he now wants and doesn't appear to be doing anything to get.
I know his behavior is anxiety/avoidance based but it makes me nuts that he has no insight into it. I picture him one year from now begging DH to help him get a green card and DH has already said he won't do that at the last minute, he needs to start the process now.
I can't imagine how all of this is going to work out, but I suspect it will be drama-filled, whatever it is.