Speaking of BMs who think they own the kid ...
Last we heard, BM was threatening court, claiming she didn't get child support for April, even though it was garnished from his check. Her last email said she would go down to Family Court and file a petition for them to sort it out. DH ignored. Then she went quiet and we waited for a summons or a subpoena that never arrived.
She was blissfully quiet for about 5 weeks.
Today, DH gets an email saying that SS told her that DH wants to talk to her about helping him get a green card?
To review, SS19 has lived in the US for all but 10 months of his life, but he is not a citizen or a permanent resident, he's a dependent on BM's temporary visa that she has to renew every 3 years. DH is now a naturalized citizen. If SS does not have some sort of visa or permanent residency of his own by age 21, off he goes to Canada, where he has really never lived. DH has offered to help him get a green card several times since he returned from his alienation, but SS said BM told him it would "mess up the plan".
BM's "plan" was to have him get into the college she works at and get a student visa, then parlay that education into a work visa of some kind. Why, you ask, would she want him to take the most difficult route to legal residency when his father can apply and get it for him?
Well, control, of course. He'd be dependent on her agreeing to sign tuition waivers for at least the next few years. BUT, SS couldn't get into her college because he's a crap student, so Plan B was for him to attend Community College, get his grades up, and then go to her college. This was the last week of his first year at CC ... and here comes that email.
SS won't tell DH his grades, but this would make me think they aren't great. I'm also wondering if she would rather he get a green card through DH, than by marrying his 27-year-old girlfriend that he's going to spend the summer with.
DH's plan is to ignore and talk to SS himself, the grown man, about getting BM to help pay if that's what he wants to do. BM has been the gatekeeper for much too long. She would have nothing to do with any of the process of getting him a green card, except ponying up some of the big CS that DH pays her every month.
Should be interesting to see how this plays out ...