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I think BM has come unhinged

tog redux's picture

To be fair, she's never been tightly hinged to begin with.  Per my last blog, she is claiming that she was not paid CS for April. Well, DH's check has been garnished every two weeks and the website clearly says Arrears: 0.00.

When they got the new order, BM took it down to Child Support Enforcement (allegedly), and they (allegedly) told her that this new order, which is a pay direct order, would nullify the old order, so DH would have to pay her directly.  They would (allegedly) stop taking money out of his check at the end of March.  Well, they are still taking money out, and I could see last week that they took the amount of BM's support out of the credit he had, on 4/1.  Where in the world is BM's support? DH has still not received any notice that they will no longer be garnishing his wages, though he did get a refund for the negative arrears he had.

She wants DH to pay her now.  DH told her that the money was still coming out of his check, and he hasn't been told to pay her directly.  He did pay her, directly, the additional amount that was ordered at the last court date.

No problem, she said, I will just go down to Family Court Monday and file a petition for non-payment.  They can sort it out.

She's going to file a petition after 2 weeks of alleged non-payment? When it clearly says in his account that his check has been garnished and he has no arrears?  Has she lost her mind?

I notice she did not say she'd have her attorney file, because he would ask her if she had called Child Support Enforcement yet? Because he's sane.  I don't know if she's hoping DH will panic and pay her? Because it seems like this will not go in her favor. Either CSE paid her or they owe her, but DH has paid his April support.

DH has not experienced this level of harassment from her since well before SS was alienated,4 years ago, when she was on him about being one minute late for drop-offs etc.  So, back to court he will go, unless somehow "magically" the April Child Support appears when BM comes to her senses. If she has any sense left.


SteppedOut's picture

Good Lord. Yeah, and then if he would pay her (outside of CSE) he would never see the money again OR he would have to *ask* her, likely repeatedly, to get it back.

She is DEFINATELY trying to stay relevant and communicated with. It's driving her freaking crazy that she is losing control; of both your dh AND ss (ss, to his gf). 

tog redux's picture

It makes no sense. I'd imagine the magistrates have a quick way to figure out if she was actually paid for April - and if she wasn't, it won't be on DH, it will be on CSE.  Who files non-payment when it's a mix-up with CSE and only 2 weeks late?

I said to DH that maybe SS went down to see his GF with an engagement ring or something. lol.  He did tell DH he plans to go down there for much of the summer, which is likely freaking her out, too.

DH thinks she's just trying to get as much money as she can, however she needs to do it.

Cooooookies's picture

It can be clearly shown that it is being taken from his wages.  What in the world does she think will happen?!?!  Like they somehow won't know, won't find it....your DH's wage slip is lying?  She's become completely unglued.  I'd invest in garlic, holy water and silver bullets.

tog redux's picture

Seriously, let me go buy a crucifix just in case.

I can't imagine what she thinks will happen or why this would be better than, I dunno, calling CSE and asking where her money is?

What will the magistrate do, make someone garnish his wages to be sure she gets paid? Wait, no, that's already happening.  Make DH pay her with zero proof that she didn't receive the money? 

She is Bipolar, maybe she's having a break.

Cooooookies's picture

Anything to stay relevant and "in control".  I can imagine the judge will love wasting time on a case that has absolutely no basis whatsoever.  If her legal advisor even entertains this idiocy.

tog redux's picture

Yeah, she didn't mention her attorney because he wouldn't entertain it, and she won't want to look bad to him.  So, maybe it's just an empty threat?  I'm guessing if she does file, this will be sorted out by the court date anyway.

BM does not like to be wrong or look bad, like most narcissists, so I don't know that she will follow through with this.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Let her waste her energy. Glitches are a common occurance with CSE, so whether she learns that from them or the courts is up to her.  Your DH has the documentation to prove that he's current on his obligation, so nyah, nyah, nyah.

Maybe she'll unravel completely and get to spend a few weeks inpatient to get her meds adjusted? It must be galling to have both of the men she once controlled enjoying life away from her web.

tog redux's picture

Now you're just teasing me!  That would be fun to see her unravel.  I'm sure it does have to do with her losing her grip on SS and blaming DH for her unhappiness.

Just J's picture

Ok for reals now, how many more reasons does your DH need to block her dumb ass?! It’s just harassment now, hasn’t he had enough? 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

My guess is she’ll go and file. They’ll look it up in the system and say that she’s wasting their time.

At least I truly hope that’s how it works.

Letti.R's picture

Oh hells bells, what everyone predicted is happening.
BM can not lash out at sonny junior so your DH is "it".
She is probably transferring her frustration of SS starting to assert some form of independence from her - even in the form of a GF-  to ramp up issues relating to SS being a child in her care.
Psychological problems written all over this.

Please be sure to take care of you and DH because as she loses control of her child, that hinge will hold less steady.

tog redux's picture

Oh, she's got psychological problems, that's for sure.  She's usually pretty good about not doing anything that crosses the line of her looking bad publicly or getting in trouble. 

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

What does the office say? Any time we see something that doesn’t add up SO calls them directly. If they have no right to garnish his pay check he needs to contact them. HE may need to submit the order. DO NOT trust that BM has done it because I could easily see her not so she can get double knowing that it would be next to impossible for DH to get it back.

I know I would PUSH to still have CS go through the state. It’s a lot harder for BM to cheat it that way. SO pays a small fee each year to use the service and it’s well worth it. It shows every single payment that SO has made.

tog redux's picture

If it were me, would totally call them, but DH hates to, he says it's a bureaucratic nightmare, takes forever, etc. 

I believe that here, only the custodial parent can do it, especially in this case, because it's a pay direct order.  The CP pays for it here, and we've enjoyed him having it - but clearly she can make drama even when it is going through CSE!  If it's truly in the process of ending with them, he should get something soon in the mail showing what he owes. But the online account shows his deposits and no arrears.