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First time in 5 years

tog redux's picture

That SS19 spent a holiday with us.  Last time was Christmas of 2014, he was alienated shortly after in early 2015. He came back into our lives in 2018 but did not see us on any holidays.

Things went fine, he's not the dramatic type, and it didn't appear that BM was home when we went to get him (possibly).  DH wants to cook another meal next weekend with SS and any friends he wants to invite.

He's not a bad kid, just has zero direction in life and still has what I consider completely unrealistic plans for himself.  But at least he's back in our lives, I know that DH is happy with that, even if he's disappointed in SS's path in life (or lack thereof).



SMto2's picture

Well, that's a start! Glad he came and glad it went well. I know the disappointment of a SK who has unrealistic plans or lack of plans and the feeling of not being able to say or do anything about it. It's sad to watch, but we try to keep that a separate issue from having a relationship so as to keep the peace.

tog redux's picture

Yes, it's hard to bite my tongue, but his head is so far in the sand he won't hear anything anyway.   At least he's not rude or disrespectful.

Letti.R's picture

This is good news, tog!
Looks like SS is starting to think and see things for himself: you guys are not the enemy and Mom is losing control of her plaything...
I am glad your DH is able to build a relationship with his son.
Small steps and hopefully positive influence.

Kes's picture

That's good news, tog.  I think DHs are always happier to be in touch with their kids than not, which means that your home will be happier.    

tog redux's picture

Yeah, I'm happy he's back, even if he is a bit frustrating. I know he's driven by fear, it's just so hard to deal with someone so much in denial.

I'll be happier in 13 months when DH doesn't have to pay CS anymore.