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GAL experiences

Toastergirl's picture

Can someone please tell me their negative and positive GAL experiences? DH took SD today to meet with the GAL...and then SD told DH that hex had taken her to meet him last month. Neither hex, GAL or lawyer informed DH about this. SD only spent 30min in the room talking with the GAL.

I guess I just think since hex "got there first" and coached SD on what to say, the GAL will side with hex.

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wife number 2's picture

I had a GAL and a terrible experience! By recommendation of the court, I took my son (age 5, he is now 23 so a very long time ago) and allowed all GAL's tests and questioning to both my son and me. I also paid $150 a visit. Bio dad was, as determined by GAL and her tests, a "white knuckle drunk capable of violence". In addition, GAL discovered bio dad's girlfriend was a prostitute and would leave the house at night for work.

GAL said my tests showed I hid behind sarcasm (uh... got me. there! How else does one function in this fucked up life at times?) Anyway, GAL determined bio dad's girlfriend would cause stress and problems in their (and our) relationship to get bio dad worked up so she could "save the day" by fixing his problems and calming bio dad down.

GAL decided she would help bio dad become a better dad by using my five year old son with continued visits to her office with dad and unsupervised visits with dad and girlfriend. (I cannot make this up. I have the papers from her office.) And, I paid $150 a visit for this crap! Bio dad and prostitute girlfriend never paid for one visit.

When my attorney received GAL's recommendation that my five year old child would be instrumental in helping bio dad become a better father, my attorney called GAL. GAL said, "Well, bio dad isn't even sure five year old is his son." My attorney (BRILLIANT) said, "He isn't! She (me) lied. He is NOT the father." At first I was furious that my attorney would do that, but he realized that the GAL and the bio dad were the WORST possible influences in my five year old's life.

Bio dad signed off on my son two days later (and received a $5000 check from me for pain and suffering) and my attorney filed papers with the court that custody will NEVER be addressed in the court of law again.

The GAL was willing to use my SON to help bio dad (a white knuckle drunk capable of violence with a live-in prostitute girlfriend) become a functioning member of society. Incredible! I would NEVER, EVER agree to a GAL again. Seek an attorney's advice on this one.

All of this (GAL, attorney fees, and bio dad's payoff) cost me over $8000 plus dropping child support arrearages of $21,000. I borrowed money from everyone I knew, i.e., family, friends, bosses, and coworkers. It was worth every penny.

nengooseus's picture

Our GAL experience was not good, either, but not nearly as problematic as the previous poster.

DH requested increased and determined custodial time. I think in his request, he wanted 6 out of 14 days. GAL was assigned by the court. She met with us and with his skanky ex. Turns out that this GAL "didn't believe in shared custody" and recommended (verbally---she didn't do a written report) to the court that we do whatever skanky ex wanted as far as custody went, even though SD was specifically asking for week on-week off.

She never talked to the school or to the day care provider, which we were asking to change.

In some ways, we were fortunate in that the judge didn't listen to the GAL. DH didn't get 6 days, but he agreed to 4, so it's better (for him), but not where he wanted it. And we got to pay something like $700 for the pleasure.

Toastergirl's picture

Well that's pretty shitty. So if ramdnomGAl decides not to believe in shared parenting, it doesn't happen?

Ugh.

AlreadyGone's picture

If you have a Netflix account, you may want to watch the show 'Divorce Corp.' Very eye opening for anyone going through family court. Should be a 'must watch' for every couple.

StepLady's picture

I will watch Divorce Corp tonight! Never heard of it before! We have a terrible GAL who feels bad for BM2 and is snowed by her somewhat. It is awful.

Confused.com's picture

We had a good experience with our GAL, she was a SM herself and knew exactly how bad BMs can get. She totally saw through BM and blew her out of the water with a written report which listed BMs games, manipulative and sociopathic behaviour and also listed how bad an enabler BMs mother is. GAL was great with me and saw what a positive affect I was having on the skids. She even tried to convince us to take full custody if the skids. Something which DH and I declined as I wasn't up for dealing with the crazy train every day. We agreed to 50/50, GAL even told me off the record that she had no doubt that BM's main mission is life was to split DH and I up. And she told me to seek therapy on my own and also group therapy with the skids.

I think we got very lucky with our GAL and we continue to use her as a threat to BM whenever BM wants to threaten court. 'You want to go back to court, let's get the GAL involved and you know you'll potentially lose your kids.'