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rough day

tiredstepmomofteen123's picture

I guess statistics say that 2nd marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages. As a woman married to a man with a son from a previous marriage I know why that is true.
Nevertheless, my husband is such a difficult man that even if this were his first marriage we'd probably be having problems.
Right now I am having fantasies of leaving. He is so darn resentful of having to work to support a family. He is angry at me for a reason I cannot write about, even tho this is anonymous. He feels I have ruined our family.
We have 3 young children together & my 17 year old stepson lives with us fulltime..his mom is 3000 miles away. We used to live in the same area. She (the ex wife) is pretty much delusional.
I barely get along with my stepson & I feel terrible about it but I have given up. I am tired of trying to inquire about his day & getting monosyllabic answers, tired of watching him ignore my kids or worse criticize them or try to discipline them.
I know I am rambling but I am just so tired of this. When my husband & stepson are not home things are so much more mellow. My stepson just brings this tension into the home. I feel he rejects my 3 kids (9 months, 5 years & almost 7 years) and it hurts me. My husband is so uptight and freaks out about the most minor thing. When he is home I just get tense thinking that the kids will act up or fight & then my husband will overreact & freak out. He just gets mean & yells, nothing worse than that.
Right now I am imagining leaving our fancy 4 bedroom house & just living in a small humble place with my 3 kids & having some peace.
sorry for this incoherent rant. There are some things I cannot write about yet for fear that someone in my home will read this.

Comments

h6not3's picture

ncmommy1215,

I am sorry you are in pain. Your post sounds so sad, and I just want you to know that coming here to vent was a good idea and you will get insight from everyone here and the feeling that you are not alone.

We all have stories that are somewhat similar and sometimes not at all, but we all understand the pain of blended families and what they can bring.

If you want to talk (type)...we are here to listen (read).

Hugs to you,

heather

stamina's picture

The tension, the unhappiness, the stress sound like my feelings in my first marriage without the added stress of a stepson. Just know that there can be better days ahead. Have you considered counselling to help you to cope or decide on a path for your life? Sometimes the grass is always greener on the other side...you just have to decide what the other side looks like for you! Take care!