Let me start off by saying I feel guilty admitting this, but I needed to get this out to others who may undertstand.
I have two wonderful children who still see their step father. My childrens bio father turned out to be a dead beat after our divorce from a five year marriage. Years down the road I met someone and remarried. He adventually adopted my children. He has no biological children of his own and just jumped right into it full force with my kids who were 4 and 7 at the time. To this day he is a great Dad, unfortunalty we could not get along and we aren't together. We get along great as friends and coparent so much better. We both work and I don't ask him for Child support because at anytime I need some extra help, he is right there to do so.
After our divorce I met someone and we have been together for a year and a half. I truly believe he is the perfect person for me. We don't live together and because of our work schedules and the distance between us, we only see each other on weekends. He is a great guy and my daughter loves him to death. My son likes him a lot too but doesnt spend as much time with him cause he likes to be with his Dad on the weekends. (Later you might say, he loves your kids )
My BF has (3) kids. (1) to his first wife and she is 11. (2) to his second wife they are (1) & (2). his daughter (11) she's a good kid. I do like her. lately I have noticed with her that she lies a lot and is very clingy to ME. That I can deal with and I can understand possibly why so I have no issue there. It's the (2) young boys....His (2) yr old is so bad. All he does is whine. He maybe has (5) words to his vocabulary and one is Ugh uh! when he wants something it's ehhhh ehhhh. And if he doesn't get it he cries and screams. If you go to the bathroom, (anyone) he cries and screams and hits the door thinking you should let him in. If you go down the stairs and he is left behind (not alone) he screams and yanks at the gate. Honestly everything he cries about. He is not affectionate, not even to his mother. He chases his older sister through the house and expects her to entertain him and if she stops he screams and shoves her to start playing again. Shes not a daycare, shes a child too. when he gets put to bed, he will fight you and run away. So he is put in the crib to fall asleep....he screams and kicks the wall throught the crib. My BF's (1) yr old is trying to walk and says Momma and Dadda. Sometimes he will just be sitting there and for no apparent reason, just start screaming and crying. He will do this till you pick him up and coddle him for a good 5 mins. In the car, he will scream and cry the whole trip. No matter what. I can't handle being in the car with him. He has them JOINT and they are there ever other weekend with him. I spend the whole weekend with stress headaches. My BF does correct the (2)yr old at times, but I don't think enough. he doesn't want to be the bad parent and when they talk tell Mom, "Dad is mean" Their mother is a "tool". When I first learned of her I thought he was lying, till I witnessed it myself. She has 3 kids to 2 diff men. Her daughter doesnt see her father. The mother who I will call "PITA" said the Dad abused her..not the daughter. So she put a pfa on him. She fought him through court and adventually, he gave up and never bothered with his daughter. The daughter is 10 now and never seen her dad. PITA is a hypocondriac and she is on a high dosage of a pscho drug. No joke. When my BF left her, she threatned him that he wont see his son and at the time UNBORN child....which she was suppose to be on BC at the time. He told her he will be in their lives. She accused him of abuse and got a PFA on him. Then she accused him of breaking the PFA twice. That got thrown out because he had proof he wasn't where she said he was. He went 8 months without seeing his son who was 6months when he left. He didnt get to meet his undorn son until he was 6months old. She wouldn't let him in on anything. She named him and (this bothers me) didnt get him circumcised. Now he is always so sore. She bodes that she is a great mother, but I dont see it. She never works....she lives off of child supprt and welfare. But yet she always has money to get new tattoos. I have so much more to say but this is enough for now. How do you coupe. i love him, but these boys or lets say the 2yr old is out of control and the ex...shes off her rocker. I don;t want to lose him. I don't want to tell him either because PITA tried to drive a wedge between his older daughter and him and almost succeeded. I want him to have his kids in his life, but how do I fit in and not lose my sanity? Any help or words of wisdom?