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Future SIL and I still not speaking

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Submitted by Tiger7 on Thu, 01/25/2018 - 3:12pm

Since SIL called to go off about events that had nothing to do with me (previous blog), we have not spoken...that was 12/23. She recently sent a group text that I was included in letting everyone know she's having her usual Superbowl party and she wanted a head count. I didn't respond. SO did text back to say he was coming. Her next text was to ask if SD16 & SD18 were coming cause she needed that head count. He said no, just he was coming. 4 days later, I saw a missed call from her. I texted to say I was about to get on a conference call at work & I would call later.

I see changes in SD18

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Submitted by Tiger7 on Mon, 01/22/2018 - 6:43pm

SD18 has been away from BM and at a group home for about a month. She's come to visit us several times and I see some positive changes in her. I'm cautiously optimistic. My middle daughter works at her school and sees her there all the time - we're glad she's back in school. Yesterday, SO, SD16 & SD18 and I went to look at a reception venue. Back in the car, he said he wanted to ask them a question about the place. SD18 was on the phone and she actually told the person, Hey let me call you back, my dad wants to talk to me. Previously, she would have just kept talking on the phone.

I'm trying to warn him

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Submitted by Tiger7 on Fri, 01/19/2018 - 12:28pm

SO and I have begun planning our wedding for later this year. My vision is something very relaxed and fun. We're older so I don't want to do the whole traditional reception type thing. He didn't even want to get married the first time and says it wasn't anything big so he wants a big wedding & reception. Being tight on funds though, things are leaning more the way I prefer. (And he's ok with that now). With most people planning weddings a year in advance, many venues are already booked. We found two that would be great but there are limited dates.

Am I wrong in my thinking?

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Submitted by Tiger7 on Sat, 01/13/2018 - 1:12pm

SD18 is out of BMs house and at a group home; she is being transitioned to her own apartment. At 18, the custody order doesn't apply anymore as far as visitation....she can come and go without any say from BM. Here's my issue - SO still gets SD16 every other weekend. I would prefer that if SD18 wants to come visit, she comes on those weekends. We saw them both last weekend. Last night, he said that if SD18 wanted to come over he would go get her if I didn't have a problem with that. She hadn't called and asked, he was just asking me in case she called.

Question about SS income

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Submitted by Tiger7 on Tue, 12/26/2017 - 12:40pm

Almost forgot this one: SD18 asked SO if he could help her get "her money". Its some kind of social security - not sure what. Can it be ss disability since BM doesn't work - supposedly she can't work cause of her back and who knows what else. Would the kids be entitled to that kind of income? SD18 says BM gets 700+ a month for each (her & her sister). And now that SD18 is on her own, she wants BM to turn the money over to her. She said BM told her she only gets about $200/mo and she isn't giving it to her. Does anyone know about ss income? I'm just curious.

Can I gripe about SIL too?

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Submitted by Tiger7 on Tue, 12/26/2017 - 8:08am

My SIL called me on Sat while I was out shopping. Just chit chat. Then suddenly her tone changes and she says oh yea...and tell your man (my SO) not to be dropping in at Mary's house unannounced (fake name). What are you talking about? He went to drop xmas presents off to her kids. This person is a friend we all know through SIL. Mary has 3 girls (2 teens & a 6 yo) that we see whenever SIL has us all over. She has 2 older boys too and her husband is currently in jail. The girls refer to SO as Uncle.

A couple of updates

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Submitted by Tiger7 on Tue, 12/26/2017 - 7:27am

First - I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas. My family did enjoy ours and there was only a little bit of drama - not too much but since this is the site for venting, I'd like to get it out. First - SD16 was with us and she went to work on Sat morning. By the afternoon, SO called me...I was out shopping with my daughter and he asked if I would mind bringing Tylenol to SD16 as she had gotten her monthly. He & I share a car so he couldn't do it since I had the car. But, sure - no problem.

SD18 is out of the psych ward

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Submitted by Tiger7 on Thu, 12/21/2017 - 12:12pm

She's living in a group home for teens. They have chores, curfews, have to go to school, etc. SO called the ward to talk to her and that's how he found out she was discharged. BM wouldn't tell him where she went - said since he got joint custody this summer, he can figure it out for himself. And SD18 didn't answer his texts or calls for about a day and a half. She finally answer - they talked, he got misty-eyed. She called him to see if he wanted to meet up with her and get a bite to eat.

won't give up my peace

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Submitted by Tiger7 on Sun, 12/10/2017 - 11:19am

Its Sun noon- just coming off a good weekend. Fri eve, SO & I, his daughter & my daughter went out for a bite. Sat, we had the family party for SD's sweet 16 bday. It was fun - everyone had a good time. She pulled SO aside and thanked him for the party and said she really loved it and was having so much fun. She thanked and hugged me later that evening. I'm sure she felt good that the focus was on her for a change and not her troubled sister. Well - that just came to an end about 10 mins ago. SO & I were talking and he was about to take SD16 to work when BM called.

SD16 bday party was a disaster

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Submitted by Tiger7 on Mon, 12/04/2017 - 8:15am

We weren't there. SO was supposed to be there to help with decorations and bringing homemade cookies. BM provided the dough and cookie molds but the dough was no good. He told BM he would stop at the store to get cookies. "Thx for telling me 3 hours before party, not good enough, if you don't want to help, just don't come, etc" So, he didn't go. Called his daughter to explain that he didn't want to get into an argument with BM at her party and reminded her that we were throwing her a party at our house with family next weekend. She seemed ok with all that. BM booked a hotel room.

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