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SD18 Update

Tiger7's picture

She told lots of people she was pregnant.  Future sis-in-law let SD stay at her house; she had finished school herself and would be home for the summer so she could keep an eye on her and she was going to try to help her get on her feet.  SD brought bf to our house so that SO could talk to him man to man.  BF sat there like a lump - couldn't say one thing to counter all the points SO was making about the two of them - no education, no jobs, no business having a baby.   That was on Sat.  Between Sat and Sun, SO and I were beginning to doubt she was really pregnant because of things she was saying.  He told me, "I know my kid - I just don't believe her".  I spoke to both of my future sis-in-laws and we discussed all the inconsistencies.  Well, on Monday, SIL made SD take 3 pregnancy tests and all 3 are NEGATIVE.  W.....T.....F     She tried to convince SIL that planned parenthood must have made a mistake cause they told her she was 6 weeks pregnant.   We're beyond relieved that she's not pregnant (for now) but I am pissed at this lie!  SIL told SD she had to come clean to her dad but SD still hasn't called him yet.  She was only worried about how devastated her bf was going to be.  Also, SIL told her that she loves her but she cannot stay at her house any longer either.

Ok - I've been in this family for almost 4 years.  Everyone has given this kid chance after chance.  I told SO I'm done.  I've said it before but this is too much.  I will not ever live with this kind of stress and turmoil again.  He can go see her outside of our home and he can help her all he wants if he chooses, but I want no part of it.  Actions speak louder than words - when I see her going to school or working full time and getting her life together, then maybe.  But I think she's going to continue down this path for awhile.  I feel bad for SO - he wants to help her but realizes he can't if she won't do right.

I did tell him to really think about all this.  If he feels like he has to step in and help her - he should get a place himself.  We can put off the wedding.  I will not break up with him.  What I don't want is for us to be fighting over this a year from now after we are married.  I need prayers and well wishes please for us to stay strong!  Thanks

 

Comments

SteppedOut's picture

I don't understand why people lie about being pregnant!! Like people aren't going to find out??

I think it's going to be very difficult for your SO to not help her... And hopefully he doesn't decide he HAS to AFTER you are married. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

And I'm thinking I said hopefully it was an error. Woo hoo!!

Prayers for smooth sailing, sweetie. 

thebrokenrecordmachine's picture

I am glad that your SD or maybe we should call her your Husbands Daughter, is not pregnant presently,
I believe it will be a matter of time before that happens and not that any child is ever a mistake, it appears your
Husbands Daughter is dysfunctional.
I too stay away from dysfunction...you are correct in setting your limits for your own emotonal and spiritual health.
I too, say the same thing, "Deal with them" outside of the home. It may be a long time before she matures...
Hopefully, this will be a wake up call for your husband, things are going to get worse before they get better.
Best of Luck!

marblefawn's picture

I just saw a crime show about a girl who pulled this and the would-be father, who didn't want his future plans sunk by an unwanted kid, murdered the lying girl to avoid becoming a father...and, as it turned out, she wasn't even pregnant!

Your SD had better stop pulling shit like this or she might end up pissing off the wrong guy.

Yea, get her out of your life. She's a whack job and you don't want her bringing her problems to your door anyway.

I gotta say...I despise women who pull stuff like this. After all the crap women take from men, we don't need stupid women pulling something just as bad on men. It never works. It just makes us all bad people.

hereiam's picture

So, I wonder what her plan was? To try to get pregnant, before anyone found out that she wasn't? OR to gain sympathy by claiming that she had miscarried?

I don't blame you one bit for being done, I would be, too. She obviously needs help, especially emotionally, but lying to people about being pregnant is just wrong.

beebeel's picture

Well yeah! Fake miscarriages are the only way to proceed with a fake pregnancy. I want to fecking throat punch her. 

Tiger7's picture

She's not going to get help until she acknowledges that she needs it.  We're going to his other sister's house on Mon for a cookout.  Don't know if she's invited but if so, she will not be coming with us.  Not picking her up, not taking her back to wherever.