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I feel like I'm about to weaken - need advice

Tiger7's picture

Neither SO nor I have spoken to SD18 since she hung up on me.  She texted her father right after that calling me names and accusing him of loving me more than her.  I didn't even have to say anything as he saw it for the emotional blackmail it was.  He continues to text her in an attempt to check on her and make sure she's ok but she doesn't answer.  I told him she won't reach out again until the end of the month when she needs something cause her food stamps and money from social services run out.

Here's my issue:  FATHER'S DAY is coming up.  His 10 yo son lives across country.  SD16 is still without a phone, so unless we "see" her on facebook and instant message her, we can't communicate with her unless its thru BM and BM is not going to willingly set up a visit on father's day.  SD18 is so angry and I know she won't reach out to him cause she wants to punish him.  My adult kids will be with their own father so it'll be just me and him.  I'm sure he's going to be sad and miserable and I understand.

Should I reach out to SD18 and ask her to come over?  If she came, I would just make myself scarce cause I still don't want to be around her.  They could go out to dinner - hopefully SD16 too.  Should I bother or just leave it alone?




oneoffour's picture

If she doesn't reach out to her Dad this is on her. These are quasi-adults who are capable of using a phone to call their dear old Dad. Why back down? It only proves to her you are weaker than her and she can say whatever she wants because you will come back crawling to her to make everything pretty with Dadddeee again.

Make alternative plans for the 2 of you. Clothesless maybe?

Tiger7's picture

I thought I was going to struggle with this but you (oneoffour) have put it in perspective.  Last thing I want is for her to think I'm weak and that she can get over on is.   Yes - I'm staying strong.  THANK YOU

I love dogs's picture

I second oneoffour's response! She is an adult and, more than likely, knows when father's day is.

oneoffour's picture

It isn't like there aren't a million ads around and things popping up on FB!

Cooooookies's picture

Plus the clothesless bit sounds like a lot more fun than dealing with almost adult brats!


notarelative's picture

It's always me and DH on Father's Day. In 20 years I can only recall one time that one daughter spent part of Father's Day with him (and that was the year he was babysitting her infant five days a week so she didn't have to pay a sitter). Some years he gets a phone call. Some years he doesn't. He usually gets a card from one daughter. I don't recall the other daughter ever sending a card.

I plan something for us to do that day. We'll be gone for the day having fun.

I love dogs's picture

I just don't understand it but I hope it doesn't affect him too much. I recognize both of my parents and stepparents on MD and FD and my aunts and uncles. It is just so strange and inconsiderate to me.

thinkthrice's picture

hasn't been recognized on FD by his own beasts for well over nine years now.   Your DH will get used to it.  My bios are nice enough to recognize Chef on FD in particular, DS and his wife.  Yes he will be miserable for awhile but you need to let DH see SD for what she is on his own....a POS.

secret's picture

She texted her father right after that calling me names and accusing him of loving me more than her.

WTF is it with these brats that cannot seem to udnerstand that the love a man has for a woman he sleeps with is NOT THE SAME as the love for his child...

YES, you ninny, your father loves your stepmother more than you. Do you WANT to be the one he is lusty for? Do you really want yoru father that badly? Why do you want to be treated like your father's girlfriend? Wife?

Good lord no wonder these youg women have so many relationship issues... they date other men but are in love with their fathers..... daddy issues much?

If my children were ever stupid enough to confuse the two types of love, I`d seriously have to question my parenting.

hereiam's picture

No, you should not reach out to her. If she acknowledges her dad, great, if she doesn't, that is on HER.

Tiger7's picture

I feel more resolved than ever!  I was feeling bad but you're all right.  He doesn't expect to hear from her anyway.  Right now, he and I are wrapped up in planning our honeymoon and he gets super happy when we talk research places.  We'll just stay focused on that.  Biggrin