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The drama of SD18 continues

Tiger7's picture

Its been over a week since I've blogged & lots happened in that time:  wicked infection and tooth extracted (3 rounds of antibiotics and its still infected); had a nice birthday; had an ultrasound for a condition I have (dr called today, no changes - will repeat in 6 mos) and then drama with SD18 still. 

As stated in last blog, she said she was dropping out of school 2 mos prior to graduation.  I read all the comments on that blog and got a lot of perspective - I appreciated all the comments & advice.  Since then, she told us she is not dropping out but is instead going to this alternative school to complete the 3 subjects she needs and will graduate in Aug.  SO googled the school but didn't find too much info on it - he is wary about the whole thing and hopes she isn't lying about it.  Then 3 days ago, he got a call from BM asking him to get SD a pregnancy test because BM refuses to.  He called SD to ask about it and she told him she was going to a clinic instead.  Turns out she is NOT pregnant thank goodness.  But BM says she knows SD is trying to get pregnant.  I don't understand this kid.  No job, boyfriend has no place of his own and we don't know if he actually works.  He is staying with his aunt.  She says they're going to get a place together but to do that, she will be on social services - living off the system just like her mother.  I can't understand why she wants to settle for that.

SO had to pick up prescriptions this morning and take them to her (she had no money) - she was not at her own place, she was at her boyfriends so that led to SO ranting and venting to me on the ride.  Basically his stance is that if she insists on learning the hard way and purposefully has a baby, he's done with her.  I know deep down he doesn't mean that - its his kid and it would be his grandchild.  But he is so pissed at her right now. 

SO and I are getting married at the end of Aug.  I'm also losing my job on July 2nd (company is shutting down) and will get a decent severance.  Between that and any monetary wedding gifts, I want to buy a house.  (I'll be employed by then).  I told SO that no matter what, under no circumstances can she and a baby come live with us, not for a month, a week or a day.  He agrees but I know him - he loves his kids just like we all do.  He and I have a great relationship and I don't want this coming between us.  I might be putting the cart before the horse.....I always over think things.

 

Comments

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I always let me DH know things before they become an issue... One of the first things I said when MIL told us BM was preggo was inform him that no matter what the baby will NEVER be staying with us or coming to live with us. He told me he knows, but sometimes it's just nice to get that off your chest and make sure your stance is known before it does become an issue. So I'm glad you're letting him know, better to voice it than to assume.

However I have to say. Your SD is being irresponsible as s***. Trying to get preggo on purpose??? In high school??? LIke the f***? (I know you know this, and I get people do it, but it always blows my mind, even high school me would think that was stupid...)

Tiger7's picture

I don't ever want SO to say he didn't know how I felt so I always make sure he does...lol.  As for SD18 - she's being beyond stupid.  Apparently she wants perpetuate the stereotype....smh.    I told him that once we're married, I would like us to be able to do get aways, travel a little, etc.  I've raised my kids and his girls are getting older now - I don't plan to spend my hard earned money on supporting a grandchild.  Their decision, their problem.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I agree completely. You want a kid? Congrats, I hope you enjoy the results of that decision. You get the responsibility and to pay for that kid.

witch.hazel's picture

Probably does not want to do either- getting pregnant and then having a newborn/young child gives her an excuse to avoid those two things for at least a few years. 

I know my ex SD got preggo at 28, of course not too young, but I really believe she did it because she was 28, had been living the last 10 years with daddy not working, he was starting to nag her about working, and she still did not want to work. 

Tiger7's picture

I couldn't wait to get on my own and be financially independent and call the shots in my own life.  SD is in for a rude awakening