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You've Heard Of Guilty Dad Syndrome

thinkthrice's picture

I'm pretty sure this is an offshoot of it.  It seems that Chef, despite everything that has happened,  is still trying to curry favor with his older half brother Mr Not so Neutral and Mr Not so Neutral's adult son.  He conveniently forgets that his family doesn't give him the time of day unless they want something for free from him.  The last time I've even seen Mr NSN's adult son was probably 9 years ago.  Mr NSN did a no-knock pop in about a year ago.  Mr. NSN's nature is to grab anything he can for free.

  Chef just spent almost $5,000 for top of the line heating equipment for Mr NSN  and his son's garage in exchange for having his antique truck that he also traded somebody for labor put back together which has been sitting in our garage and taking up precious space for 5 years untouched.

Chef we'll also be providing them free labor of course.  I could see them buying the materials and Chef providing free labor but giving them the whole kit and caboodle is ridiculous IMHO.  Maybe it does cost $10,000 in labor to put a vintage pick up truck back together.  But I doubt it.  All the parts are there...Chef bought everything.   They better not ask for money to but any parts but I can see them trying to get away with that.

  Nothing in writing.  To me, this is the equivalent of renting to friends and family, which 99% of the time is disastrous.  I can almost predict what is going to happen--I'd like to be pleasantly surprised but I'm pretty sure I won't be.



Exjuliemccoy's picture

I think it's common for adult siblings to unconsciously slip into old roles when they get together. Chef seems to crave his big bro's approval. You're going to have to keep a firm hand on the finances while choosing your words carefully. 

My macho DH used to infuriate me because he'd become a butt kissing bowl of jello around The Coven. He grew up watching his dad do it, so it was an old familiar pattern. And despite being estranged from my own bottom feeder sibs for decades, I found myself backsliding to being the bullied, talked down-to-baby sister when we had to interact after my mother died. That's when I cut contact and lawyered up.

Chef is lucky to have you, but his relatives may see you as an obstacle to $$. You'll be the big bad meanie