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Spin-off to "Who are you texting?"

thinkthrice's picture

My response to a six-year-old child would have been "none of your business" or "this doesn't concern you."

Since when, other than to teach a child a valuable life skill or chore, is it necessary to explain everything an adult does to a child?

It is disgusting the way modern children are treated with 100% adult authority ( precociousness/adult confidant) yet 0% responsibility in the way of school work, chores,  cleaning up after themselves and basic life skills.

Comments

Cbarton12's picture

I agree! I hate this.

SD regularly: "what were you talking about? I wanna know "  or she'll look over your shoulder at your phone! 

momjeans's picture

I 100% agree. This is one of the gazillion ways how children are put on the same level as adults. 

theoldredhen's picture

Hey, Cbarton, ThinkThrice,

I'll never forget the incident wherein DH received a personal letter, with a foreign address, from an old university buddy. My SD, 17 at the time, picked up the letter from the pile of mail, studied the address and began to open it! I snatched the letter from her hands with a firm reproach about every person's right to privacy and placed the letter, with the rest of DH's correspondence, on his desk.

Later that day, I noted that the letter was missing and yes, SD had opened and read it! I was outraged. Rather than punish his DD for her flagrant disrespect and prying, my DH said nothing. I told both DH and SD, in no uncertain terms, that if anyone in the house dared to open my mail, there would be absolute hell to pay. 

In my family, our personal mail was sacrosanct. We would never have had the audacity to open one another's mail nor even considered doing something so clearly wrong and intrusive.

Jjs868's picture

Children need to learn their place. My SD10 use to ask me "where you going? " my response would be you dont need to know where I'm going. Do I ask your mom where she going. (Because she doesn't stay with us she stays with the grandparents.  Even the inlaws ask me where I'm going. But my thing is I live with my husband only he needs to know where I going. 

 

One time MIL asked if I was going to the cornerstone I said yeah you want anything. She said no. So you jus want to know where I going then. Smh

NoThanks's picture

Yes! This one really bothers me too. And often times these DL parents give their kids adult status and simultaneously infantize them. Ex SO’s 12yo daughter would scream at her dad about how he was dealing with her brother but still couldn’t tie her shoes. 

Cover1W's picture

SDs used to do this too. None of your business was my complete answer. 

DH caught SDs troublesome friend going through our opened/opened mail once. He said, "EXCUSE ME, this is none of your business!" And snatched it from her. Wow, that kid. I also caught her opening our garage door to gain access to the yard tools without permission (I noped that one quick). She was around 11. YSD was with her and said nothing both times. So glad she never comes over any longer.

Powerfamily's picture

My SD10 use to ask me "where you going? " my response would be you dont need to know where I'm going. Do I ask your mom where she going. (Because she doesn't stay with us she stays with the grandparents.  Even the inlaws ask me where I'm going. But my thing is I live with my husband only he needs to know where I going. 

My answer that question is always ''There and back to see how far it is''.

thinkthrice's picture

used to ask me where I was going.  Chef felt obligated to go into lengthy explanations!!  I was aghast!!  

"Where is SHE going??" (said to Chef)

Because Chef was a mega Disney/Guilty dadeeee I had to wait until out of earshot.  IF they asked me I'd shut that down pronto 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Eh. I had zero issue just giving her a simple name. It wasn’t elevating her. It’s just that her having knowledge of it didn’t matter at all. I didn’t care. So i said the name. No harm, no foul. Great learning opportunity for her with how it ended up. And she still had child status because it simply didn’t matter.

there are plenty of things I say none of your business or nothing too. But this one hardly mattered or elevated her at all.

ITB2012's picture

its in the answer.

If a kid just asks as a general query I have no problem answering.

When the other parent has answered continually in a way that gets the kid over involved and knowing more than necessary and possibly even weighing in on it, so then they think they get to know about every text/call/contact, then I have a problem answering.

 

strugglingSM's picture

Another pet peeve of mine is when kids tell you when they are going to be home from somewhere or when they will leave our house. SSs sometimes go to friends’ houses when they are with us and they love to tell DH when they will be coming home and where he will be picking them up. I said to DH, “you are the parent, so you can tell them that you’ll pick them up at 5pm or that they need to be home by 5pm.” 

Also, they had a friend at our house once. He was supposed to go home after the flag football game, but I come home after that and he’s still at our house. I ask DH what the deal was and DH said, “he didn’t want to go home.” I replied, “I didn’t know it was his choice to determine how long he stayed at our house.”

I blame their parents though. Several of SSs friends have sent their kids to stay at our house without knowing anything about either of us. And they also don’t seem to wonder where their kids are. I think one SS does this when he’s with BM, just goes off to a friend’s house and decides when he will go home.