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Christmas Tree Wars

thinkthrice's picture

I've finally finished up the rental single family house which was a total massive project.  I'm exhausted from it all and with Awesomeson away and AwesomeDIL/DGD not coming over for xmas I figured instead of getting a fresh tree, Id pick up a 9 footer artificial one (we have high ceilings) from craigslist.  It should be noted that I do all the decorating and tree care.  Chef just drags it in the house then sets it in the stand.

Nope!  I tell Chef about the fake tree and he shakes his head saying it's only the 4th and we have time to get a fresh one and to donate the one I just bought!

Should I:

1. Set the fake one up anyway and he'll just have to deal

2.  Resell the fake one and let him figure out when and if we get a fresh one (usually I am the one who coordinates this...if I wait long enough there won't be any left.)




Winterglow's picture

I'd stick with the one you bought. If he wants to do things his way, let HIM sell the artificial one and do ALL the rest of the work getting a real one and decorating it.

CLove's picture

If he wants another one - its the trend now to have multiple trees anyway...

caninelover's picture

Never seen or heard of this.  Why multiple trees?   Must have to have a huge house for that, I would think?

CLove's picture

You can small table top ones, and maybe one in the bedroom Biggrin

My friend has crowded 6 inside her large living room. And in california, you can have a few outside. Its in the 70's here.

Ive decided to try for two - one for each living room we have. We shall see - I just got a bunch of free ornaments from SIL younger.

Crspyew's picture

I love Christmas.  I have a 12 footer in my great room, 6' in the office, and 5' in each bedroom, with another 9' in my basement great room.  It's definitely a thing, many of my friends do the same.  Some of my trees have themes, for example the tree in the office has a Navy theme, lots of Dixie cup hat ornaments, helos, jets, blue & gold ornaments. Bedroom trees are simply soft lights.  It brings me joy.

caninelover's picture

Honestly if you resuse them for several years they are better for the environment and overall easier to deal with.  Get a pine scented candle if you miss the smell.  Go with your gut, it was the right call.

grannyd's picture

Dammit, TT!

Chef has been bullying you for decades and has allowed The Gir and those 3 ferals to do the same. In fact, every time that I read one of your blogs, describing another outrage from ‘His Royal Highness’, my blood boils. Oh, how I’d love to have that sumbitch in Chez grannyd for a month; I’d have him locked in the basement, cold, naked, fed on bread and water and whimpering for his mommy!

Howsabout you take a page out of Lilly’s book and enrich the remainder of your life by catapulting that a$$hole into outer space on the toe of your boot.? Perhaps Ani could assist by engaging a five-fist monkey nut punch? Trust me, Hon, every woman on this site would love to see you free of that awful, selfish, user of a man. 

I apologize if I’ve spoken too plainly but, my dear TT, it sickens me to contemplate your shuffling off your mortal coil without ever having enjoyed happiness in your marital relationship. Regarding the Christmas tree? FUCK Chef and what he wants. Do exactly what you want and, if he doesn’t like it, too damned bad!

(grannyd cracks a bottle of wine, pours a hefty glassful, sighs heavily and calms herself.) 

Hope that I don’t get banned….

SteppedOut's picture

Damn time someone kicked the elephant.

OP keep your effing tree and boot the jerk. 


thinkthrice's picture

Is like a petulent child.  He ranted about being too poor to afford a real tree in his trailer in the 70/80s with his mother and brother blah blah.  I will just tell him i need to set it up to take photos to resell it.

JRI's picture

No needles to clean up, no watering to keep it fresh, no wondering next year what to do, no tree shopping every year, no further tree expense, and when you go on to your next phase you can sell it or donate it.  If you want the Christmas tree smell, buy pine spray.

I agree that if he wants a fresh tree, no prob, he can buy one, put it up, decorate it, then you'll have 2.  He can also clean up the fallen needles, keep it watered and dispose of it.


Rags's picture

DW wanted the tree up yesterday. I refused. My plan was to get the tree set up and the lights put on today. Other than housework, cooking, and job interviews my week days are pretty empty.  In my mind this was something to do during what is otherwise downtime.

The tree is up, and the pre installed lights are lit... except for the bottom section. Not sure yet what the problem is but it is an interesting troubleshooting excercise for my electrical engineer brain. Probably a fuse. Nothing complex.  Just a PITA.

So, the plan is to get the lights working, get the 10 or so strings of additional lights installed, and take the next few evenings together to get the decorations on the tree and up around the house.

My quandry.  We will not even be here for Christmas. We will be with my family. We leave Dec 22 and return Jan 2. So..... we will have the stuff up probably until late Jan because DW likes it.  It is important to her. 

Since we won't be here my preference would be to not decorate at all.

But, it is important to my bride. So... Here I am.



I wore my BH hat yesterday. Several people at the grocery store liked it.



thinkthrice's picture

Past 1/2 for an Eastern Orthodox Christmas!

Yesterdays's picture

I would tell him simply you paid money and bought one, that's what you plan on doing. Tell him it would be ridiculous to donate the tree you JUST bought and that you're excited about the new tree. If he doesn't like it perhaps he buys a fake one and puts it somewhere different... But I think he's too lazy or cheap too. I would have just been like... Ummmm noooo

thinkthrice's picture

If you don't want to put up a tree this year that's fine but if you are it has to be fresh (all or nothing mentality).

I was raised a Jehovahs Witness and I never had Christmas until I was age 42.  I like the lights!  I'll be putting it up this Thursday and let the chips fall where they may.  The new sofa is coming this Friday.  He still hasn't disposed of the old love seat!

Yesterdays's picture

Just do what you want... He can deal... Man is it just me that you do all the planning and work and preparations only for him to come last minute each time and complain about what you want to do, and want to do something more difficult last minute? But for you to still be the one doing the work? 

thinkthrice's picture

In a nutshell.  He's a control freak.  He used to say "I'm not going to eat anchovies"  Now that he TRIED them he has them on EVERY salad.  Again, all or nothing mentality.  EVERY  guy I've ever been with has been someone who is never pleased.... nothing is ever good enough.   It gets old fast.

Yesterdays's picture

That's got to be super annoying. I imagine you're at the point you just want to plan something without the peanut gallery... 

SteppedOut's picture

Except now I am single and will remain that way. It is FABULOUS. Highly recommend.

Rags's picture

Stick the love seat on the curb for trash day. Hopefully the snow makes it unsalvageable.

Enjoy your tree and lights. 

I am baffled by Chef telling you it is either a natural tree or nothing.  Like he can stop you from doing what you wish.


thinkthrice's picture

He loves pissing on everyone's ideas.  I truly think he is still angry over his marriage to the Gir failing and wants everyone else to be miserable.   

He only has one male relative out of like six that I know of who is still married and that nephew lets his wife do what she wants.   The rest are control freaks and single. 

Yesterdays's picture

If he wants his imput maybe on the next holiday or celebration he can do the planning and work? Or you guys can plan together.. With his help and muscle also though not just saying he doesn't like everything! 

thinkthrice's picture

He refuses to do yard work, lawn mowing, decorations either indoor or out.  I guess his mom did all the yard work as well.  But he definitely likes to point out things I'm doing wrong, stuff he doesn't like or what appears inadequate to him. 

But I dare not point or any of his shortcomings as he is Mary Poppins...practically perfect in every way.  He seldom listens to me and in order to convince him to do something I have to couch it in "some other person" says this or wants you to do that. 

 I've learned to just ignore him for the most part and do what I want anyway.   When it comes to finances, he can be counted on to make the wrong decision so I always do opposite of what he says.    Just keep swinging that hammer, Chef.

Crspyew's picture

Put it up and decorate as you wish.  Artificial trees are great, a lot less maintenance and clean up and better for the environment unless you are going to buy a real tre that can be replanted.  Do what makes you happy.  I am with grannyd, f chief.

thinkthrice's picture

I'm convinced about the environment factor.  Artificial trees are made from petroleum and thrown into landfills when no longer needed/broken.  I take my fresh tree outside and birds use it as cover then it breaks down in the compost pile.   The tree farms I use all replant two for each one taken. 

I'n not anti fake or fresh.  I just want to eliminate some extra work this year but I don't feel like completely abandoning the tree concept either thus the fake.

Rags's picture

Where I grew up you could not get fresh trees. You could barely get a Christmas tree at all. So. when you found one, it lived forever. When a family left to return home, they were handed down to another family. 

When DW and I were living in Qatar we inherrited an ancient banged up tree from a departing Expat family.  Dad and I rebuilt that tree using wire, wooden dowl rods, we rewired the integrated fiber optic lights on the tree but we could only get one color rather than the changing colors that it would do when we first fired it up.  We were happy to have it.

And.... not one pine needle to clean up. Ever.

We lived in Austin for many years. They do tree recycling drop offs for live trees there. The partks and rec department turns them into bark chips and mulch that they use for public landscaping. They also bag and sell it as fund raisers for the parks and rec department.

We have had both intermittently over the years. But my adopted Bah-Humbug (I get it from my dad) facade is definately pre-lit fake tree all the way.

My DW, is definately team trudge through the snowy woods, kill it, and put it in the living room.  Which I too very much enjoyed for the few years we were in CO between Expat periods while growing up. The problem is that I had raging pine allergies.  It gave me insane exema outbreaks and asthma. So. I do not tempt the alergy Gods with real trees in my home.  Unless I am at a point where putting the North Woods in my living room to put a smile on my bride;s face overwhelms my terror of exema and asthma.


JRI's picture

"Darlin, this is easier on me."

thinkthrice's picture

Just would pronounce me lazy.   In his world, anyone who isn't doing hard physical contracting labor  7 days a week is lazy although he now admits he can no longer keep up with his 20 yr old self.

Lillywy00's picture

Get the one he wants IF he is going to do ALL

thr work lol...I'm guessing he's going to refuse once he knows all the work he will need to put in to make his desires come to life 

thinkthrice's picture

This Thursday and go about my business of decorating and cookie baking.   He'll just have to live with it.  I'm getting older now and although I can still climb ladders and have very good balance, there will be a time when that's not the case, so just putting up a prelit w a few decorations is sufficient.

Cover1W's picture

Oh my lord. Went through this with DH. The third year of going tree chopping with DH, the SDs AND BM (you read that right, and the first year I paid for both trees and didn't see a dime back from her!) I said NO. This doesn't Account for who watered it and took it down, etc. You know who that was.

I bought a fake tree on discount after the holidays and that's been it since. I refuse to get a real one. When DH or the SDs complained, because BM had a REAL tree, I told DH to go ahead and get one, but I would do nothing to help and if it dried to a crisp before Xmas I would get rid of the fire hazard then and there. Needless to say, no real tree.

After last year I'm done with the holiday pretty much. We still don't have thre tree up but I think he'll set it up with YSD this weekend. I'm going to be busy with something else.

Yesterdays's picture

I love my artificial tree. It's sooo easy. It takes only 5 minutes to set up and is prelit. It's a tall and thin pencil tree and only 3 peices and packs up small. It looks so pretty!! My last artificial tree lasted more than 20 years. My parents bought it in the 90s! 

Yesterdays's picture

As we all know my ex husband prefers the real tree... Hence making his kids skip their scheduled work shift to go Christmas tree shopping at a farm! 

Winterglow's picture

Have you ever told them that, if they are already scheduled for work, they are allowed to say "no" to their father and ask him to change whatever activity he has planned to another day because that one doesn't work for them? Sounds like they could do with some empowering.

Winterglow's picture

If he's objects, remind him of his work ethic and ask him to stop belittling his daughters and their jobs.

Yesterdays's picture

Agree they need to be taught to stand up to their father and stand up for their rights and beliefs. I think this weekend would be a good time to talk to my kids about this, about work responsibility and reliability and also about their dad and scheduling

Holidays are coming up. So... Just my guess that he will try to get them to schedule off for small family gatherings 

"back in my day".... If you had to work you told people.. Sorry I have to work

All these things he doing is ultimately hurting his own daughters... It's crazy 

The weird part is I don't understand because his own work ethic is solid and excellent, which is why I always feel like there's something more to it , maybe just the driving issue who knows 

Winterglow's picture

OTOH, back in the day it was also next to impossible to get time off if you had a schedule - you needed weeks of notice for family trips, for instance.