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The Blame Game Never Ends

thinkthrice's picture

Backstory:  Chef (biodad to three now grown kids) dropped the rope years ago after they all PASed out one by one.

Chef (and to a lesser extent I):

Went to their games and school plays all the while getting the stink eye from the Girhippo's (HCGUBM) "community"   Town population just over 5k--the Gir was born and bred there.

Went to teacher meetings, school administration meetings where Chef was told that as the NCP, his opinions "didn't count" and that the CP would always have the final say.

Was denied medical and health information... ALWAYS.

Went out of the way to get as much visitation as possible; volunteering to take them on the fly; something I didn't really care for but it forced Girhippo to do first right of refusal, which slowly went by the wayside after the Gir completed spiinning her "wheel of substitute father."

Went overboard trying to make them "feel comfortable" by mostly spoiling them and doing a guity daddy number; again something I didn't agree with but not my monkeys, not my circus.

OVERpaid CS and any little extras.  Girhippo had her BM make up fake receipts for daycare;  StepDaddyBigBucks photoshopped the Girhippo's paystubs just before CS hearings (her real earnings showed up on a website as she was/is a public employee)

Put up with passive aggressive behavior; it was as though the Gir wanted them to be on their worst behavior at our house;  especially YSS (the HousesHitter) who forced himself to vomit when he wasn't getting his way.  Then he escalated to literally defecating all over the house because he wasn't getting his way.  Before that,  his older siblings were stealing, lying, being cruel to my two cats at the time, torturing wildlife and being generally destructive.

There were the PASing phone calls "hurry up and come back home to mommykins; mommy miiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssses you and has a surpriiiiiiiiiiiiise for you when you get hoooooooooome"

The Gir did every HCGUBM PASing play in the book.

The more we tried, the more the Girhippo and her clan (her BM who is a PASinator) dug in their heels.  After the Gir made a phony CPS report on us and tried to curtail our opportunity to dispute the report (she worked at CPS at the time and could throw her weight around)  it took two years for the last skid (YSS) aka the Houseshitter, to PAS out for good over a home cooked meal.  He went back and made up all sorts of stories about us forcing food down his throat.  We requested that he TRY the food and that we were not going to eat at "mic and donals" (aka babytalk at age almost seven).

Now TWELVE years later and on social media, OSS (Pumpkinhead)  aged stb 25 chirped in response to someone posting "Did Blues Clues Steve Give You More Closure Than Your Ex?"   

"I don't know about that but he gave me more closure than my blood father"

Which of course was "liked" by his third cousin of ill repute and Chef's very own only blood brother, who tried to be Pumpkinhead's "father figure" when PH was 19.  That didnt' last long; less than 6 months.

The victimhood and drama NEVER ends.   For those of you wondering why I bother looking at social media  it is mostly due to trying to determine if YSS has emancipated himself "prematurely" that is before age 21.  (CS goes to 21 here in wonderful NYS)  The sooner we can legally get the Girhippo off the payroll after all these years the better!


1dad4kids's picture

Uhg. It's sad how hard these Dad's try and the Mom still manages to PAS them. 

I wish it were illegal. 

DPW's picture

""I don't know about that but he gave me more closure than my blood father""

But SS is not wrong. He never had closure with his father. Regardless of who is to blame about Chef's failed relationship with his kids, all three of those kids never had any closure and probably never had any support about not having their father in their lives as kids, especially after they were 100% with BM.

I find SS' statement sad. 

tog redux's picture

Yes. And maybe that means he'd like to have a relationship with his father, but that seems to be impossible.

advice.only2's picture

I get it I see the same things with Spawn, her passive aggressive comments about DH that get one or two likes...I'm sure from Meth Mouth and Grandhag.  It is telling thought that she only gets one or two likes.  

thinkthrice's picture

This got 3 likes.  Gir was strangely silent on this one and believe me she watches and comments on their social media all.the.time.

Btw the Gir changed her profile photo of SDBB with her at a  concert to the three ferals all huge and grown on the beach mugging comedically for the camera

ExhaustedByItAll's picture

At the end of the day, their failure of their entire lives will always be someone else's fault. I already see if brewing in SD and SS: poor grades, the teacher doesn't like me, fall out with a friend, always the friend's fault. SD doesn't make a sports team at school, it's because of the coach or some other player. SS doesn't get invited to birthday parties or play dates, it's because THEY [insert excuse here]. And BM, as a lifelong victim herself, just encourages it.

In the end, when they PAS outta here, it will all be DH's fault, and I'm sure DH will also be blamed for every future relationship failure, money failure and job failure that they have.